Gonzo

The Janitor Granted I don’t wear my finest clothes to work, and I wouldn’t think a three piece suit would be a good choice. I wear what’s appropriate, old jeans, a washed out company shirt, and a work bib loaded down with hand tools. The bib I buy off the tool trucks from time to time and as I wear the old one out I’ll replace it. The bib allows me to carry all the daily essentials that I need most often. After awhile, the old bib gets pretty ragged looking and the old shirt starts to show major fatigue. My wife keeps threatening me that she is going to toss some of my shirts and buy new ones. That hasn’t happen yet, but I’m sure it will someday. As you can tell, my appearance is (at times) pretty ragged and probably would make anyone who didn’t know me quite suspicious of whom or what my purpose was at the shop. But that said, what I am, is a mechanic, and a pretty good one. In the mean time, I don’t want to have to be putting on “airs” for somebody just because they don’t like the way I’m dressed… to bad… this is what ya get. One evening … late evening… I was the last one at the shop and I was heading home. I turned on the alarm and headed out the door. My usual ride home is my ever faithful old truck…. Gerdie…. She’s an old truck, a good one though. It’s an 84 Toyota 4X4, runs fantastic, stops on a dime, and looks like hell. I’d drive it to the coast and back and wouldn’t worry about a thing. I think of it as a show piece…. A 25 year old truck that runs like new… hey, we should all have one… why it’s probably due to the expert care she is given. Gee, I wonder if that has anything to do with maintaining a maintenance schedule, and not “over-driving” the vehicle through conditions that would over work the designed capabilities from the manufacturer. I’ve owned this truck since it was new, I’ve serviced everything and anything it’s needed over the years. But back to the story….. I wanted to go home, but old Gerdie had other plans… seems the clutch master cylinder needed a bit of fluid. So I went back … unlocked the door and turned off the alarm… Grabbed a bottle of brake fluid and filled her back up for the trip home. In a bit of a hurry I spilled some of the fluid. I ran back in and grabbed a broom and some oil dry. It was about then that a car pulled up to the shop and a guy came into the office. Me, I was still outside, in fact I still had the keys hanging in the door. Why I even had forgotten to take off my old bib still full of tools. Once I had filled the master cylinder back up I went back into the office. “Anything I can do for you,” I asked. “Yes, is there someone here that can help me with my car,” He answered. “Sure, I can” “But you’re the janitor… I need to talk to a mechanic” Now, I realize that the lights are all off, the place is quiet and I’m standing there holding a half gallon jug of brake fluid, some oil dry and a broom….. I guess, you might assume that I’m the janitor… now wouldn’t you… Well, he did… “Well, sometimes I’m the janitor; then again, I’m also the complaint department, the head mechanic, and the bill payer around here. What ya need slick,” I said. “My headlights aren’t working, the repair shop down the street said this was the place to get it fixed at. They said the connector is melted and there were no replacement parts,” he answered. “Sure, no problem, can you drop it off tonight and I’ll get a look at it in the morning,” I asked. “Well, ok, if you think you can fix it, I don’t want to leave it with just the janitor you know,” he hesitantly answered. “Don’t worry, in the morning I’ll put my broom away and grab my test light.” “Oh, OK, I’ll leave it with you… if that’s ok.” I took down his information and the next day I made the repair without much of a problem. I didn’t call the customer, Mandy did and she didn’t have a problem with this guy, he was a typical nice guy customer. When he came to pick it up though, he asked Mandy if it would be alright if he thanked that nice janitor for taken his car in after hours last night. That’s about the time I came in from the shop, wearing my same bib of tools I had on the night before. The new customer took one look at me, and said, “Oh, could you tell the mechanic that worked on my car that I would like to thank him personally?” “Ya just did,” I said. “Ah, sure, ah that’s nice, but do tell him that he did a great job, oh, and by the way, you’re doing a fine job of keeping this place cleaned up… wonderful work your doing,” he proudly said. He turns to Mandy, “I’m glad you folks have such a nice man on your staff, he’s doing a fine job.” I didn’t have the heart to say anymore about the whole thing. I figure since this guy thinks I’m such a damned good janitor I might as well live up to it… I’ll just keep sweeping up around here. Sooner or later I’ll learn a thing or two about fixing cars. But it is kind of nice being the janitor… heck; people don’t try to ask all those car questions to ya… I’m just the janitor you know. Makes me wonder how many “janitors” are really rocket scientists or something. It’s amazing to me how differently people think of you when you’re not the “guy”. Even though this incredibly thoughtful customer was only trying to thank me… the mechanic, I felt really honored to be thanked as the … janitor. Oh, and for all those rocket scientists turned janitors out there in the world… Don’t worry your secret is safe with me.

http://www.autobodynews.com/news/industry-news/item/4462-i-team-aftermarket-parts.html

Somehow, I think I'm out there reaching into everyones thoughts... to take life a little easier... one crazy customer at a time. We all have to fix cars... we all have to learn new stuff that manufacturers develop. And, if in some little way we can help to bridge the gap between shops... I think it will make a better work place for all. Thanks for the thoughts... I've got lots more stories... lots... Gonzo

Blowin’ in the wind Another headlight problem to deal with, this time it’s on an old 280z. Both headlights took their turn going on and off. I’ve seen this problem hundreds of times, and I find it a common problem on this style of headlight system. My first test is to pull the trim from around the steering wheel and pop off this little plastic guard on the back of the headlight switch. If the headlight switch is causing the problem, all you have to do is take your finger and gently push on the terminals of the headlight switch that you exposed when the plastic guard was removed. In this case, that’s exactly the problem. No further diagnostics needed. Chalk that one up to experience. After filling out the invoice I gave the customer the news. He was quite startled that I found the problem so fast. “I had it at the last shop for hours,” he said, “Until they gave up and sent me here.” “It’s not a big deal I’ve seen it before,” I said. The part was ordered and I had it installed in a flash. Simple repair, made simple with lots and lots of experience mind you. After the install, I checked the headlights. All was well, no other problems that I could see. I pulled the car around front and filled out the rest of the paper work. A big thank you and a hand shake was all that was needed at that point. I handed him his keys and he drove off down the street. I figured I just made a new customer… not bad, I look like the genius. You know the one, the one, that I think I am… well, there I go again… did I forget about the proverbial teeter tooter of auto repair? The one that has genius on one end and idiot on the other... and the job for the day is to try to keep it in balance by constantly walking back and forth. But, everytime you think you're standing on the genius end and you think there is no way you are heading the other way... look out... it’s going to slide right to stupid… and idiot isn’t far away. Several weeks later the car was back, again with the blinking headlights. I went thru the whole routine again… it is absolutely without a doubt, hands down, totally for sure… working just like it should. And I mean perfect. It never blinked it never even thought of blinking. Now I’m getting concerned. This isn’t right. Whose playing games here…? Is there one of those hidden cameras around here? Ok, who put this guy up to it? I’ve got a lot of practical joker friends that would love to pull some stunt like this… but I ain’t laughing fellas! Since nobody jumped out from behind a bush or a tool box I guess I better consider that this guy is dead serious about his “blinking” headlights. Time to go talk to the owner. “How often does it do this,” I asked. “All the time, especially at night,” the 280z owner explained. (I deserved that....sometimes in a rush I ask the wrong questions. "especially at night, hmmm, when do you think he would notice it... I’m sliding even closer to idiot right now… I hope there’s a safety harness attached to the see saw of auto repair.) “Well, I’m having a problem duplicating the blinking at this point,” I said with a bit of confusion in my voice. “Oh, I guarantee it’s going to do it,” he said, “Just wait, it will.” I went back out to the shop and pondered over this odd situation. Now I pride myself on being able to figure this stuff out, I hate thinking I’m going to have to end up like the last shop and give up on it. Oh come on, I seen the headlights blink the last time it was here, that was cut and dry, this I don’t know. About then one of the tow drivers that brings cars to me came in the shop. Not for a car, just to say Hi. I explained to him what I was up against and I told him I’m running out of ideas on how to solve this one. Not that I expected any help but I could use a shoulder to cry on right about now. He had this quirky smirk on his face… as if he knew something that I didn’t. Something told me he was up to something, aha; he’s the guy with the hidden camera. Ok, ok, I’ll play along. “Hop behind the wheel and turn the lights on,” my tow truck driving buddy chuckled. “Ok,” I said, perplexed by his sudden show of diagnostic abilities. Once I had the headlights on he walked to the front of the car and stood in front of one of the headlights. “Are ya ready for this,” he said, still laughing his butt off. “Go for it there Einstein,” I said … not knowing what he was about to do. I couldn’t think of a thing I missed, and how in the world was he so sure of it. As he stood there looking at me sitting behind the wheel, his legs were lit up with the headlight beam, he reached down and grabbed the bra that was on the front of the car. As he flapped the bra up and down … the headlight… blinked. What the??? I jumped out of the car leaving the headlights on. “Ok, now I've seen everything... you stand in front of the headlight and it appears to be blinking from the driver's seat,” totally astonished by now, “What the hell are you doing.” The bra is fitted into the recess in front of the headlight, and the attaching “Velcro” strips were gone. So, when the car was up to speed the bra would flap in the wind and would make it appear as if the headlight was blinking. Now on the other hand, the other side was tight and was holding the bra down just the way it should. So it was actually only "blinking" on one side of the car... let's see if the customer agrees. I ran to get the customer, had him sit in the driver’s seat. My still laughing tow truck buddy and I went through our little experiment. The most surprising thing was the owner agreed that was what was happening and it only did it on that one side… which after thinking about it was different than what it was doing with the original switch installed. At least he understood the problem now and everything was back to normal… except… how did the tow driver know…? “I was on a call last night and I saw this same car on the highway pass me,” he said, still laughing, “I knew it was at your shop a while back. You couldn’t miss it, what got my attention was the blinking headlight as he came up along side of me, I thought it was some weird emergency vehicle, but as it passed by my truck I could see what was going on. I was laughing the whole time, in fact, that’s why I came by today. I was stopping by to raze ya about it, seems like I came at the right time.” Well, well, well, I owe him one. Maybe a couple, I’m sure he still laughs about this one even after all these years. That proverbial teeter totter is sure looking heavy on that one side. My bad, I’ll work on correcting that problem, maybe with a little help from a gust of wind and a friendly tow driver. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Joe, I wish I knew how they find me... I know I didn't run an ad for the flood gates to opened and let all the nut cases enter my domain. But, you know, I gotta smile at them... one and all... what else would I write about... geez, I'd be a real boring person if it wasn't for these folks. thanx for the vote of confidence... or maybe I should sell these stories to TV for a new reality show that just keeps going... and going... and going.... ... ... ... ... will it ever end...

My only problem with this whole thing is...well, always will be.... how is it that they don't want to be citizens.... it seems they only want the benifit of a job and health care... Is it so hard to do what was done in the early 1900's... and become a citizen?? I don't think it's a matter of cheap labor.. oh sure, they're are circumstances that a cheaper labor force would make a difference, such as in an orchard or picking lettuce...stuff like that. But, really, isn't it just wrong to want to get to the USA so you can earn a living and run back to your family on the other side of the border...?? That's the part that bugs me.... become a citizen, earn a living, pay taxes... how hard can that be. I probably don't understand it... because I'm not a part of it... but from my view... Get legal...

My kids wanted me to post this story... they thought this lady was just the wierdest... I thought she was a bit myself... but my girls wanted me to make sure that I told this story... OK, I'll filled my obligation...

The bird lady This lady was weird. Hmm, not a great way to start a story now is it. But, it’s true. This lady was a weird as it gets. The name “bird lady” was actually from my daughters. They nicknamed this gal after a couple of trips to the shop to see what old dad was up too. On many occasions that the girls would come by to visit good old dad during working hours, this car would be at the shop. There were always bird cages in the back seat, feathers everywhere, and bird droppings in the back seat. Turns out, that the lady owned an exotic pet store somewhere in town. She never carried a purse, instead she used a “Wal-Mart” plastic shopping bag. Most of the time she would be dressed in some funky 80’s style coat with a frumpy crochet hat with kaleidoscope colors. To talk to this lady made you wonder if she wasn’t coo-coo herself, always off in her own little world. Always seemed a bit nervous and preoccupied with her own immediate situation. She would come in on a regular basis most of the time for general maintenance. Oil change one day; check the tire pressure before she would go on a trip out of town, so on and so on. One particular time in the shop she was there to have the leaking valve cover gaskets replaced. She was waiting in the front lobby while we finished the job in the shop. As I walked through the front office for something I noticed her sitting there in the lobby reading a book while crunching down on pieces of raw spaghetti noodles. You could hear the crunch from a block away. Crunch, crunch, crunch, went the noodles, as if it was an automatic reflex with her. She would start off with a full length piece and then would quickly munch it down to nothing. Over and over again she would do this. I just shook my head and went back to the business at hand. Soon we had the work completed and I went up front to finish out the invoice. You know, it’s impolite to ask people what they are doing munching on noodles like that. I’m no doctor or chef… but this can’t be good for you. I just had to ask, “What’s with the noodles, you seem to like them.” “Oh, I’m on a diet,” she said, “It keeps my mind off of eating and I feel full all the time then. Works great, I haven’t put on a pound since I started this.” To keep this friendly conversation going I had to ask the next obvious question, “So when did you start this diet?” “Today.” Ok then, I’ll just finish this invoice and send this lady back to her little nest. I really don’t want to ask her anymore questions. Oh, I’ve got plenty, but, I ain’t asking. “Would you like to try it?” She asked me. “No,… no, that’s ok,” I told her, “I’m fine, wife and I are having spaghetti tonight. Thanks for asking though.” I told this story to my wife when I got home. She couldn’t place the lady’s face until I mentioned that this is the lady the girls called the bird lady. I think the nickname fits. If you could have seen this spaghetti eating champ at work… you would have thought she had gone to the birds too.

In Oklahoma we go out at night and hunt the coyotes before they get to close....

Alligator skin......

My daughter (Katie) who runs my office had one yesterday... this one is going to end up being a story for sure. A lady calls and wants to know if we can work on a VW "Pass-it" because she is having a shortage in it that the dealer looked at and said it was her ECM control module (she said it just like that). Katie told her that we would need to diagnose it... which put this lady in a rage because she would have to pay more money to have her car looked at again. The lady (and I use that term loosely) Started calling her "bitch" and "F-in" this and "F-in" that. Katie ... after quite a long converstation, trying to reason with her.... and had given up....told the lady that she was not welcomed at out shop and that she should take her problem back to the dealership. At that point the phone is at arms length and this lady is still going off... about then a regular customer that was standing at the counter waiting for her turn was backing up against the far wall... totally shocked at the loud profanity coming from the phone. As Katie was hanging the phone up the lady was still screaming... "I'll bet your husband is out screwin around on your ragedy a$$.... CLICK..." The nerve of some people... Katie did the right thing hanging up on her... no respect at all... You know, there isn't a mental evaluation given when handing out drivers liscences... there should be... Gonzo

Gives ya chills don't it...

http://www.bing.com/....wmv&FORM=VIRE1 Unbelievable... ya gotta listen to these voices.... incredible...

Wowser! Do they have it in blue....??

I'm going to need 3 gallons of coffee after this one.... Thanx for the comments guys.... love to hear from each and everyone of ya... It's one thing to write these stories... it's another to keep my sanity while experiencing them.... Gonzo

3 GALLONS OF TROUBLE One of my regular customers brought his son into the shop the other day. It was right at opening time and good old dad made it a point to tell his son, "Gonzo, probably hasn't had his coffee yet so go easy on the old guy." He was right about the coffee, but that still didn't prepare me for the story I was about to hear. The story started sometime earlier … apparently after I changed the fuel pump two years ago; his gas mileage had dropped considerably. To the point that he was concerned and very upset that there was obviously something that I had done wrong to cause it. He insisted that I was to blame because he always tracked his mileage by way of his trip odometer. Before the new fuel pump he would get close to 400 miles per tank. His accuracy was noted on his little log book and showed how much gas he would refill his tank with. It was always around 23 gallons and never a drop more than 23 gallons. But now his tank was holding 26 gallons. His question, "So, where is the other 3 gallons going?" I had to laugh, I've changed a lot of fuel pumps but I never have had anyone come in and tell me that it holds more fuel than before. My guess was that his original gas tank sending unit was probably inaccurate and that was where his discrepancy was at. "I'm pretty sure your gas tank hasn't increased in volume since a fuel pump has been changed. I would imagine you're probably mistaken as to how much your tank actually holds," I told him as I reached for my coffee. Nope, he wasn't buying that answer. He knew how much his gas tank has always held and he knew I was the cause of his 3 missing gallons… what he wanted was for me to find out why his gas mileage has decreased so much. I tried to explain it to him, but he was very… very sure he was correct and I wasn't listening to what he was saying and he was getting quite loud and belligerent over the whole matter. Poor old dad just sat there with a smirk on his face. I kinda figured dad had already had enough of his boy's attitude and figured old Gonzo was going to straighten him out. (This is going to take a lot more coffee…) The aggravated son then began to tell me how good a mechanic he was, because he had rebuilt a few motors in the past so… he knew what he was doing under a hood. (Note: putting parts together is not a mechanic… that's solving puzzles… not a mechanic.) Then he added to his story with the usual… "I went to one of those parts stores that will read codes for you… they said the reason for the check engine light was because of a bad gas cap." He was grasping at possible reasons why his gas mileage had dropped so much. What gets me is how something as important as the involvement of the service light isn't brought up into the conversation until after you have told me how good a tech you are and that you have already made the incompetent decision that I was to blame. (I'm going to need more coffee.) So at this point, we have a service light on, we have a supposed loss of fuel economy (sort of), and I'm sure there is more… there is always more… I had to ask, "Anything else?" On occasions the ABS light comes on… he had that checked too. This time he consulted the ever faithful internet. He tells me in a loud forceful voice… as if I couldn't hear anything he was saying, "That always means it's time to rebuild the ABS controller." Oh yea, I do that every day… I take the controllers apart and remove the epoxy sealer over the circuit boards and remove the effected components on the board and then reseal the whole thing back together. All this before a full cup of coffee??? It's really too early for this kind of technical information…. After dad and son dropped the truck off, I went straight to the glove box. I checked the owner's manual as to how much capacity the fuel tank held. It had it in big bold letters… 26 gallon capacity… not 23 as he was so sure of. While I had it in the shop I checked the tune up parts and the filters… all looked great. The next thing was to tackle the check engine light. Yes there was a code, well a code that might lower gas mileage… sort of… but not by 3 gallons. It was the evap solenoid valve code… p0449… after doing the test on the valve it turned out the valve wasn't responding to the PCM commands. A new evap solenoid valve solved the problem. As far as the ABS… nothing, not a thing, no codes, no history codes, and the system was working normally. A drive test showed no problems and I gave him the benefit of doubt that he may have an intermittent ABS controller problem… however when I gave him the option of leaving it alone or changing it… he left it alone. After all the phone calls were made and arrived to pick up his truck there was never any mention of the so called missing 3 gallons or the fact that it was merely the original fuel sender that was reading improperly all this time. Or the fact that the loose gas cap had nothing to do with the service light this time around. I guess when you're wrong you don't have to admit it…that is when you're the customer… but you can be darn sure if the mechanic is wrong… everyone will know about it, and somebody is going to have to apologies. Oh, and I apologies for being the mechanic in this story, and I guess I should apologies for one more thing….. Writing in BIG letters on his invoice… YOUR TANK HOLDS 26 GALLONS! !

sometimes I think I am.... nothing like the general public.... makes my day....

Here's why I posted this story this weekend... The attachment is a photo of the little wierd doll a guy had in the back seat of a Cadillac on Friday. Check it out.... if - you - dare.... Gonzo LOL

Nope, never seen him again.... it was strange... and I do have to admit the guy was totally wierd. The wierd part was that he wouldn't get out of the car... for anything...! ! He had this death grip on the steering wheel and would... and I mean Never let go of it... Other than when he tried the turn signals and the window switch... he never glanced up.. never looked side to side... never turned his head... he just sat there like a tombstone... really really eerie.... I was going to save this story for Halloween but then I thought... hey, if I wait till then... everybody will assume its a made up story.... well, it's not... and it's one of those stories that sounds to wierd to be real... but it was. Friday I had a guy in.. (this is why I decided to post this) This wierdo had plastic goblins and fake rats with their heads in huge fake mouse traps... a couple of skeletons in the back seat.... Before I pulled the car in the shop the guys says, "Take car of my babies" Heck, I thought he meant the car... when I went out to the car... holy jumpin wacko world of weirdos... My daughter took a snap shot of the one little ghoul... I can send you a picture of it... creepy dude... for sure...

You know, ya just can't make this stuff up... This was certianly a wierd day at the shop. Last Stop Before The Asylum Talk about a weird day; I would have to say this was one of weirdest days of them all. On a foggy afternoon, no breeze in sight, and slight chill in the air, an old man came to the shop. He didn't come through the front door like most everyone would, no, he pulled his car right into the center bay of the shop. But, it gets stranger…. He didn't get out of the car. He didn't even roll down the window. He just sat there with both hands on the wheel, the engine still running, and staring out the windshield like a zombie from an old horror flick. It looked like he was calmly sitting at an intersection, waiting for the light to change. He had no expression, he never blinked; he just sat there….with this cold stone stare. I didn't want to walk in front of the car in fear he may take me as the green light. So I walked around the back of the car keeping one eye on this strange guy and crept up to the drivers' window. I tapped on the glass….no response from inside. I tried the door handle… it opened. "Afternoon sir," I said in a cheerful manner, trying to keep my curiosity at bay "Is there anything I can do for you today?" The old man, ever so slowly, turned his head towards me while maintaining a straight forward posture and both hands still on the wheel, never really looking up, he answered. "Why yes young man, my turn signals are acting up and my window won't roll down." (The man's voice reminded me of an old horror movie vampire.) Very creepy to say the least. He even looked like a 50's horror movie villain, you know, sunken in cheeks, large bushy eye brows, slow methodical speech, and that expressionless cold stare. (Where's his cape, does he keep the bats in the trunk, the coffin, where's the coffin?) "No problem sir," I answered. "Just head up front and they can write you an invoice for the repair and then I can get started." "I'd rather stay here, (slowly turning his head towards me, lifting his eyebrows, and raising his eyes up towards me so his glare was straight into my eyes) right here in the drivers' seat," he said in that creepy horror flick manner. (Insert spooky movie music here) Ok, where's the holy water…..where's my garlic….who's got the silver bullets…….where's the wooden stakes …….a little help here guys…..a guys….where are you.??? Why is it, when you look around the shop for help…..everybody disappears? Oh they'll show up, oh sure they will…after they let me be the first victim……not funny guys! ! ! I could ask him again to step out of the car or I could tell him about our policy on customers in the shop. I guess at this point I probably looked like one of those B movie extras that were too scared to say their lines. If I had any….. I figured I better tell him he can't stay in the car while I was working on it and see where that led. There he sat, still staring straight ahead out the windshield, not blinking, and not even moving a muscle. "Sir, because of insurance reason you can't stay in the shop. You will have to wait outside or in the customer waiting area," I said, trying to be as professional as possible. (They can smell fear you know) Looking straight forward, not at me; "You do whatever you feel is necessary son," then he turned his head and looked right through me, "I'll be sitting right here," all of which he said in that same eerie voice. He turned back towards the windshield without another word. Then, he just sat there, as still as a tombstone. Now I'm not scared…I'm getting riled up. I don't know what graveyard this movie mogul came from but…this is my shop. I have to take the responsibility here. If he isn't going to get out of the car I really can't do too much. Well, maybe I can do some quick diagnostics without having him get out of the car. This way, I won't feel like such a jerk if I have to get a little serious with this "Vampirish" guy. "Sir, why don't you try those turn signals for me," I said. He did, and they seemed to be working just fine. "Could you try rolling down the window for me," I asked. It worked fine as well. Without a problem that I was aware of I thought the next best thing was to get him out of the car and take a look under the dash. "Sir, can you step out of the car so I can look under the dash," I asked. "No," was his response. "Well sir, then I'm going to have to ask you to leave," I answered, "Or, you can wait outside the shop while I take a look at the car." "No," again was his answer. "Ok, then, could you do one more thing for me, could you put it in neutral and leave your foot off of the brake," I calmly asked him. He did just that, then he put his hands back on the wheel but never changed his dead pan expression. I motioned to one of the guys in the shop to come over. We both grabbed the front of the car and pushed the car outside with the old man still in it. As we pushed him out you could see the old fella through the windshield, never changing his straight ahead stare…..he just sat there. I walked up to the drivers' door, the window was still down, "Sir, when you are ready to get out of the car I'll be more than happy to help you. But until then you will have to remain out here. If there is a medical reason why you can't get out of the car I'll make arrangements to assist you into a different chair or something that will be more comfortable for you," I said with a stern voice. The old man did that same slow head turn without taking his hands off of the steering wheel again. He stared right into my eyes….raised those bushy eyebrows, and with that same slow deliberate baritone voice "It's not medical, it's not a problem, I like my car the way it is…(and with his eyes extending out as if to make them larger)……with me in it." (There's that spooky music again) I walked back to shop to finish the other work that was there. On and off throughout the afternoon you could look outside and there was that creepy old guy sitting in his car. Staring right into the shop through the windshield of his car…. never moving, never blinking, still with both hands on the wheel. (There should have been some eerie fog flowing around his car….now that would have been creepy) At closing time, the old guy was still there. As soon as I starting to pull the doors down… he drove off. As the door came to its usual "thump" at the bottom…the shop radio went dead. You could hear a pin drop in the shop; the only noticeable noise was the old man's car leaving the parking lot. When the car noise was all but gone…the radio started back up. (No Kidding) It was like some page out of a horror movie…..Ok, Ok, it had to be just one of those moments when the station was changing a disc or something……but why right then. So, the next time you are at a traffic light and you see this old guy with big bushy eyebrows…staring through the windshield. Don't make eye contact, don't look back……….drive, drive far away! ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sorry to hear this news... but, it sounds like you have your future game plan mapped out. Good luck, and stay in touch. If ya ever make it to Tulsa, come by and say HI. "Keep it between the ditches and off the tow trucks." Gonzo

I took a look at the prints... It doesn't show a factory alarm system on that 96 model.... (Verify by unlocking a door with the key) There are a couple of things you could try first before parts swaping. Disconnect the MAF and try to start it... Check fuel pressure and volume... Try disconnecting the tach signal from the dash... The tach is a straight shot to the dash from the engine... Don't know if it's any help... but you could try these tips and see what it does. Gonz

Keep that thought... and watch for my next article from Brake and Front end... your comments would be perfect for my next story Actually you might already have it.... page 168 of my book...