Gonzo

I'd wear that label proudly.....

That's the thing about employees.... "A new broom sweeps well" It's when that broom gets a few miles on it that you find out what you really have. Over my years I think I've had every type of wrench head work for me. Most all end up with the same problem,... production, come-backs, and hours at the shop. One or all of them become an issue. I usually can tell when it's about to happen. The first thing I notice is they stop coming in early, or the bathroom breaks get closer and closer together. Stuff like that. The thing that I feel is neccessary for a shop owner to keep in mind.... "Know when it's time to get a new broom" and "don't hang on to a useless broom" Just my thoughts on the subject.

Sounds like a job that would end up at my place.... LOL I had a guy bring in this contraption years ago... it was a huge plastic bubble over the top of a three wheel motorcycle... This guy called himself the "electro man" had some morning local tv show for kids... what an idiot. He had no more idea on how to hook things up than the kids that probably viewed his early morning show. Ya should have seen this thing... Too bad we didn't have cel phones back then... or I would have posted the picture of this wierdo... you would have laughed for hours... he drove around town in his caped uniform driving this space mobile from the planet stupid... ... looked like some circus freak... Ya never know what will come in the door somedays... Ya gotta love those backyard engineers... LOL

GONZO: Backyard Engineers: When Realities Clash During the years and years of running my shop, I have run across a lot of hot rods, home built contraptions, and those "super-upper, make it better than the factory did" cars. I sometimes wonder why I take on these projects maybe it was slow that day and I needed something to do. Or, the owner may have had one of those personalities and charisma that made me want to truly believe in their dream as much as they personally did. It seems every time I get into one of these, I have to back up a second and take a good look at what I'm getting into. Whether it's the motor setup, the transmission, or the wiring … something about the backyard engineering usual leads to a problem that you won't find out about right away. I tend to look at it as if I were the engineer at the manufacturer. I'm sure they didn't sit there and design a car, throw it together and expect everything to work the first time out. There is usually some "trial and error" that they will go through before a car goes into production. But, as soon as a customer brings their creation to the "professional mechanic" they assume that they will find everything that is going to affect the drivability of their pride and joy. I'm no engineer, I'm a mechanic… I can probably spot problems before they happen a lot quicker than a novice can. But, I'm sure I'm not going to spot ALL of those problems with one glance. It may take several trips back and forth to the shop to work out the different kinks in the engineering to get the mechanic that I am to repair it. Many times you find out too late that they have modified the motor mounts, or the clearance for the coolant fan isn't enough. Sometimes it's the added-on electrical systems that are poorly mounted and wires begin to rub shortly after getting it on the road. Most of these items you can spot as you're going through the car, but there is always the one or two things you miss or can't spot that will get you in trouble. If you have an understanding customer, you won't have a problem. If you have that customer that feels everything in life is perfect the second that it is in their possession … it's going to be a bumpy ride to the finish line. Once in a great while, I'll make my way to a local car show. Occasional, I'll be asked to do some judging or sometimes one of my customers has a car there that they want me to see. As I walk down through the rows of cars, I always wonder what is under all that pretty paint and chrome. What's the wiring look like? Do those power windows work? And, how well are they mounted in that door that never had power windows. I'm not surprised when one comes in the shop and they want me to re-do some of their failed attempts at installing items such as these. It's almost comical in a way the amount of bailing wire, metal strips, and oddball locations for screws that they have installed. Sometimes I just sit back in my little shop roll around chair and smile while staring at the interior of the door, laugh to myself, and think, this is going to cost you a bundle buddy. A lot of times I get that expression from the customer as if I'm crazy. They don't think it can be that bad because they just put it together themselves. Other times it's the: "I know. I know. It's a mess. Can you fix it for me?" Even after I've done all I can possibly see that needs done, I like to leave to the door open for future repairs. I tend to tell the customer about working in the dark as far as the engineering of the items they have installed. Even though you have taken every precaution you could possibly remember, there is still the chance that you have missed something. A while back, I had a customer bring in an old International pickup truck. He tried to wire it himself, but failed miserably. The motor and transmission were installed, but they had their own set of problems. I worked through all the wiring issues and got the motor running, charging system working and all his add-on accessories working. It was quite a job a lot more than the usual rewire for sure. As soon as he picked it up, I thought to myself … he'll be back. Sure enough, the first thing was the steering. The steering gear box had been moved from the factory position in order to make room for the bigger motor and headers. Whoever moved it must have never welded before in their life. It was a horrible slag covered mess of globbed on weld. In fact, there wasn't a spot to put all the bolts in the gear box. I cut out the useless pieces of metal that they installed and welded in a stiffer bracket. Once that was done, I only had to wait for the next trip back to the shop. Now it's the speedo that doesn't work. And, of course, I wired in the dash panel, which made me the first obstacle in the reason why it didn't work. After checking into it a little further, it ended up being in the transmission. The plastic speedo gear on the tail shaft had slipped out of position. The transmission was under warranty from a previous repair so I didn't have to correct the problem. That is until he brought it back a few weeks later… with the speedo not working again. The transmission shop had told them that there was nothing wrong with what they did so it had to be something that I did. This time I told the owner… "Would ya let me fix it, I think I know what's wrong." He agreed. I took the tail stock off the transmission and sure enough the speedo gear had slid back again. Apparently the transmission shop didn't know about the little metal keeper that locked the gear into place. (Maybe I did because I'm old and know this type of transmission inside and out.) I called one of my older counter people I knew. I was sure he understood what part I was asking about. He said he did, and sent the little clip to me. It worked like a charm. Now, I'm just waiting for the next dilemma to show up. Who knows what I missed this time or what isn't right from a previous repair. I got to hand it to some of the backyard engineers … they're pretty good. Sometimes they are absolutely impressive. Then again, the customer that needs help with their ride is what I'm here for. The guy that gets it right and engineers things correctly doesn't come into the repair shops. But the ones that I really love are the few that have tried and failed, and then want to smooth things over with me with their intelligent insight as to how it's suppose to work even though they don't' have a clue. They are usually trying to save face and hoping it will lower the overall cost of the repairs. Now that's funny, anyway you look at it. One way or the other, you gotta love those backyard engineers. you can view the whole story and photos at their website... www.brakeandfrontend.com in the search box... type "gonzo" it'll take you right to my stories that have been published.

I would have to agree with ya on the "don't need" part... over the years most people will say the same about my shop with one exception. The usual statement is "Man, he's good, but, boy he ain't cheap" By the time those kind of jobs show up at my shop they have already been to several other shops and never got anything accomplished... then it's my turn. The way I look at it... be fair... be articulate... sound professional, be professional... get the job done, done right the first time... and don't forget you're in this for the cash... it ain't a hobby....

Gee.... and I thought I was some HOT golfer... this guy has that name all to himself.... To Funny... I'm going to forward this link to my golf buddies... FORE ! ! !

Even in a big the city it’s still can be a small world I’ve been in private business long enough to gain quite a following from all over the city and surrounding areas. Most of it good, I hope… and then there are some of my customers that once they get to know me they’ll bring just about anything into the shop for me to repair. Just the other day I had one of my regulars bring in a huge lawnmower for me to look at. It has a Caterpillar diesel engine on this huge grass cutting machine the likes of which I’ve never seen before. But as with anything mechanical/electrical if given the right tools and the proper information I’ll take on the challenge. It wouldn’t start; the first thing I could tell about it was the starter bendix was out of it. It would hit the flywheel spin a quarter turn and then nothing. The bendix would stay engaged and the starter motor was spinning like mad but the bendix never moved. Each time I would turn the key the same thing would happen. The engine would spin just a bit and then the bendix would just stop turning. I took the starter off and gave him a call. Since his place of business was just around the corner it didn’t take him long to show up. “I’ll go get it rebuilt,” he said, as he grabbed the starter and headed out the door. A few hours later he was back, but the starter wasn’t repaired. He had taken it to two different starter overhaul shops and both said it was Ok… I thought that was a little strange… this thing was in dire need of a bendix. I muscled the engine over with a pry bar just to make sure there was no issues there, it was fine. I was very certain the bendix was at fault, there was no mistake about it. But, if the overhaul repair shops have as good a reputation for their work as I have, I’ll have to take another look at this whole thing and be sure I’m not diagnosing it wrong. I stuck the starter back on and as I expected the same thing was happening to the starter. I decided to skip this little problem and try to determine if anything else was wrong… because according to the owner the starter probably wasn’t the only problem wrong with it. He had already tried a new ignition switch but when that didn’t do the trick he brought it to me. After checking the wiring diagram it was clear that one wire was on the wrong post on the replacement ignition switch. I asked the owner if he made sure he put the wires back correctly when he changed the switch, he not only was extremely sure that he had them in the same place, he also took a photo of the old switch wiring so that there was no mistake about where each of the wires went. With that information it had to mean only one thing… the ignition switch had to have been wired wrong from either a previous repair attempt or from the factory. Because, the way it was hooked up the starter solenoid was engaged the whole time the engine was running. I went ahead and moved the wires to the right spots and gave it one more try. When, I could get the starter to stay engaged long enough to spin the engine, there still wasn’t any voltage at the fuel cutoff solenoid. Something else had to be wrong with it. Time to consult the wiring diagrams again. Now it was only a matter of following the road map of a wires and trace out how all the individual safety cutoff switches played a part in the starting and running of this beast. Sure enough, one of the fail safe switches was faulty. It should start now, that is, if you could get the crazy starter to engage long enough to throw the engine over top dead and create enough compression to keep itself going. It took several attempts of flicking the key on and off to get it to happen but it did finally start. Once it started I knew why no one noticed the starter bendix was still stuck out against the flywheel… you couldn’t hear a thing with this huge motor blaring away… (ear protection is in order) Now, the owner only had one more task to do. Take the starter back one more time to the rebuild shop and get a new bendix installed. I offered to install a new bendix for him, but he insisted on going back to the overhaul shop and tell them about it. He said there was something about “putting a board in the bendix” which seemed to be the way both places checked to see if the bendix was any good. I’ll bet it would hold a board… but I don’t think a little old piece of wood jammed into the starter nose cone was any match for this big diesel motor. I just hope my reputation has gotten to that end of the city, because he planned on telling them who said the bendix was bad. Even though the starter overhaul shop was convinced it wasn’t the bendix… he was going to insist on having one replaced. A day later he had a new bendix and the big old grass munching beast was as good as new. Sometimes, all it takes is experience and a reputation to get your point across. Just make sure you can back it up with clear evidence and good diagnostic skills. It’s an excellent way of gaining a good reputation, even in the big city or the small world we live in…

Isn't this the reason there was a law passed for Tire pressure monitoring systems to be a standard feature on all cars....??? Because the way I look at it... the average driver doesn't check his tires... so pass the buck to the repair shop or in the case of the TPM.... pass it onto the manufacturer... (This is nuts) I agree with the the thinking that it leads to another reason for the customer to pass blame onto a unsupecting repair shop...and what about that nitrogen tire?? What now... another attempt of government sticking there nose into something they shouldn't be a part of. God forbid, someone sues a repair shop over this... One more thing... now you bring up the old problem... "which is right" the factory label showing tire pressure or the imprinted label on the tire... some say one way others say the other way... Remind me not to move to California...

there near the end I thought he was stating a fact not calling the race... Good one....

I'VE GOT IT ! ! ! All we need is to hire a bouncer for the front lobby... yea, that's it... my troubles are over... why didn't I think of that years ago.... (is it really coming to this.,.,., LOL... I hope not... but people are people... and I don't think they'll change any in the future) Wish I had a Ranger... maybe I can just borrow him from time to time. Gonz

You should have found a goldfish and put it in the headlight... LOL... now that would have been funny... Gonz

let's do...

Joe, it is therapy... I think that is why I write these stories down. I look at it this way... I'm an honest, law abiding guy... I've got kids and grandkids... why I'd even stop to wait for a turtle to cross the road. I'm not a crook, a thief, or a swindler. I'm a mechanic. a good one at that. The insulting, the ranting, the loud mouth idiots out there that darken my door because they don't know, or don't want to have any part of their car maintenance and feel it's their right to scream at me for doing so... is without a doubt the reason I write these stories, because I know I can't be the only guy out there experiencing these kind of customers . I feel like I have taking on the task of telling these stories to one and all... not only humorously... but in a way guys like you and me can relate too... and in some small way finsih the last sentence in the story with some dignity and personal respect knowing... "I'm not alone in this mixed up world of automotive repair" Thanx for the comments Joe... your comments become my therapy.... as Red Green would say "I'm pullin' for ya, we're all in this together"...

It Runs in the Family There’s an old saying; “The acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree.” How true… how true, it also applies to how people act at repair shops or other public business areas, such as restaurants or grocery stores. The other day a young driver, probably his first car, came in and asked; “I’m here to get my car diagnosed.” He didn’t even give his name, he didn’t even say hello, he was right to the point, and then some… Mandy was behind the counter, “Well, Hello, thanks for coming in. What can I do for ya.” “My dad and I already know it’s not the battery, and we already know which fuse it is. If you pull the radio fuse the battery won’t go dead.” “So you have a radio problem?” “No, just diagnose why the battery goes dead,” he said in a demanding tone. Ok then, Mandy wrote up the invoice and I pulled the car in. A couple of quick checks on my part led to the obvious result that the radio the problem. Even with the car off this aftermarket radio remained on. Lit up like a Christmas tree, with every display and button on. One look under the dash told a lot of the story… the radio was so cobbled up under the dash you could have pulled out enough wire to put in several other radios. With my luck, if I reached under there and grabbed a couple of these radio wires I probably wouldn’t be able to get it back the way it was. I didn’t have a diagram for the aftermarket radio and the stock wiring from the factory radio was buried up behind the dash somewhere. Besides, it wasn’t one of those quick pull out radio installs either. This was one of those cars that the entire dash had to be removed before getting to the radio itself. Seemed to me the best course of action was to let the boy and his good old dad pull the radio out. It would save them some money and perhaps be the end of their problem without spending anymore with me. But my main reason for avoiding taking out the radio was the way it was installed. This thing was hog tied, lashed, and counter screwed in there with enough brackets and pieces of foam the likes of which… I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Without even knowing for sure… I’ll bet dad and son put this stereophonic-road noise cancelling-head banging-bass thumpin’-piece of modern music listening device into the car… I’ve been repairing cars for a long time and when it comes to these “home installed” radios my best advice… for me… is to steer clear of them. There’s no doubt that it will be a complete disaster if as a professional tech tries to remove it with all the half-taped up wiring and the cluster of hap-hazard brackets people will put in to hold in their precious noise manipulator. You can’t duplicate the mess… and when you try to correct the install with proper brackets and good connections… the time, the labor, and the effort usual are higher than what they expect to spend. I’ve seen everything from toilet tissue rolls to blocks of wood holding up a stereo. Wads of wiring crushed behind the units to chains and plastic bits and pieces screwed into anything they could find. With that said… which by the way… I thought I was doing them a favor and letting them take their radio out. Wasn’t the real issue here… It was dad… he had a problem with the whole thing. The dad calls his son’s cell phone, hands the phone to me and starts screaming in my ear, “I’ve already pulled the fuse to the radio… so I know that’s not the problem.” The dad went on yelling… at this point I’m holding the phone as far away from my ear as I can. “I’m a mechanic too, and you don’t need you to tell me how to check for a draw on a car… I know how to do that. You’re looking in the wrong place.” (the typical answer … didn’t you know… EveryOne is a mechanic…) I told him, “Sir, I never asked you to pull the fuse… I said I wanted the entire radio to be disconnected so that I can be sure that there is no feedback from other sources. The radio fuse you referred to is only the key-on voltage not the entire voltage that would go to the radio, and right now the radio stays on with the key off. I certainly can’t trace for any other draws until this is disconnected.” Still screaming in my ear the dad went on to tell me, “That radio is a real pain to take out… why it took my son and I all day to put it in.” (At least my hunch was right….) “Sir, that’s why I offered you the choice for you to pull it out instead of me.” “I already pulled the fuse… so what’s the problem?” “Sir, as I said before… I didn’t ask for the fuse to be pulled… I need the entire radio disconnected… am I being perfectly clear…?” (Still screaming in my ear) “You don’t have to be rude mister.” (Where’s my chance to say something like… quit yelling butt head! I can hear ya without all that shouting! But, you know… professionalism… not stupidism) With all the screaming in my ear I thought I did a pretty good job of making my point. I thought “being perfectly clear” was a good way to get my point across without being interrupted for the umpteenth time. It’s simply amazing that a direct question... “Disconnect the entire radio system” is turned around to “I took the fuse out, and you don’t have to be rude.” It’s not like I said, “disconnect the right speaker or only disconnect the ground wire”. Merely disconnect the whole thing. It wasn’t that difficult to comprehend. I’m sure it’s the same thing any other trade goes thru… For me, I’ve had enough with this guy yelling in my ear, “Sir, just do me a favor, take the car home and pull the radio out, I’m certain your battery drain will disappear.” With that the young lad grabbed his keys off the counter, ripped his cell phone from my hand and was out the door. An hour or so later the phone rang. It was the mother. Mandy answered the phone, the angry voice on the other ended shouted, “You can tell Gonzo that somebody needs to come down there and smack the sh$t out of him.” CLICK…….. Mandy didn’t get another word in. Boy, I made some new friends there, didn’t I? Sometimes it isn’t a matter of repeat business, sometimes it’s just a matter of maintaining your sanity while dealing with the irate customer. I don’t run across this type of customer often but when I do it’s a memorable occasion. At least one thing is still true, that acorn didn’t fall far from that tree. But, I’ll add one more line to that … “It must run in the family too”. Because it sure did in this one.

I've run across that one before, but, I have one problem I've found with the newer beetles that will throw you a curve ball... If you get a Beetle with A/C problems... do this little test first. With the car idling and A/C on... and you get no cold air... BUT... if you bring the engine rpms up to say... 2 grand or so ... if now you have perfect cold air the problem is not the A/C ... it's the charging system. The feedback current from the alternator is too low at idle for the PCM to recognize that the charging system is working. However, it is high enough to keep the charge light off. The PCM reacts by assuming the charging system is shot and starts shutting down accy systems to avoid overloading itself. To make matters worse... everytime I ran across this problem I have never been able to see a voltage change at the battery with a meter. But, believe me... it's the alternator. The last one I did was probably the worst one. Everything looked great, but I changed the alternator anyway. As soon as I did... the A/C kicked on... blowing cold air just like you would expect. Hope this helps... Gonzo