Gonzo

I'm starting to like this golf tournament idea more and more. LOL

Thanx for sharing it on your facebook page Frank... Good going...

You know Joe, some of the "younger" readers are going to get the impression we're old... ha ha... just wait.. they'll catch up with us. Wait till a CD is as old as the 8 tracks we used to have ... now that'll be something...

We can have a special prize/trophy for the "worst shot, worst golfer,etc..." Sounds like you've got spot picked out on the mantel for the trophy Joe... LOL Seriously, though, the idea of a Independent Shop Convention ain't a bad idea. We should think about it for real...

ain't it the truth... everything old is just something new with better stuff. LOL. I always remember the quote from the worlds fair in the 1920's (i think that was the year) When all the great minds of the world voted that everything that needs invented has been invented and the only thing the future will bring is improvment on what exists today. So true... so true...

LOL. Thanks Frank, I keep "putting" out there... it's a real "stroke" of luck sometimes when I get a story that everyone likes. Could be "fore" a good cause... maybe I just like to see everyone smile.... Hit em' straight... Gonzo

A Bogie of a Battery I'm an avid golfer. You can ask my wife; she'll tell you. There's hardly a weekend that goes by that I'm not out on a course somewhere. I've got a regular group I play with each weekend. None of us are all that exceptional, but we enjoy the game and the company. We all know what it takes to play the game, and understand even more that practice does not make perfect, but perfect practice makes for perfect play. I try to keep this in mind when I'm at the shop. The best practice for me is doing the job correctly, and not cutting corners for the sake of cost or time. When a problem is compounded with cheap parts, it doesn't make the repair any easier. Especially if the customer doesn't recognize the difference between a good quality part and those cheap knock offs out there. A referral job came into the shop the other day. He said he had a battery drain problem, but had tried everything to solve it. The problem had been going on for years. Each and every time he would take it into a repair shop the answer was always, "It's the battery." He wasn't buying that anymore, there had to be more to it. Hole no#1 That afternoon the Jeep Cherokee was dropped off for me to try my hand at solving the problem. I didn't get off the first "T" box, before I found a problem The battery tester showed a faulty cell in the battery, and to top things off the battery was the wrong size for the car. Not only that, it was one of those cheap second rate batteries sold at some of the discount stores. I guess for some people that's OK with them, but for me it's a for sure "Bogie". Off to Hole no#2 Of course, there are some people who believe there is no difference between the higher priced batteries and the cheap "off brands". I beg to differ… they're cheap for a reason. For some, the realization of this only happens after they have had a couple of triples, or the dreaded "snow man" (that's an "8" for the non-golfers out there), before they realize that there is a difference in quality and price. Hole no#3 After replacing the battery (with a good one) I did find a small draw on the system. It happened to be coming from the instrument cluster. On this year and model the horn fuse also sends a constant voltage to the tachometer in the cluster, even while the key is off. Hole no#4 The draw was extremely small. I might have overlooked this small draw, but since this was an on-going problem I thought I would check into it a little further. There wasn't anything else wrong with the vehicle. It was a clean well kept ride, no extras added on, and even the engine bay was well detailed. Holes no#5&6 As it was a back-up vehicle, and not his daily driver, any sort of abnormal draw would definitely turn into a dead battery. I called him, and gave him the bad news. His main problem wasn't so much the draw that I found, but the battery situation. Since this is what everyone else was telling him, he wasn't convinced that it was part of his problem. I started to sound like all the other shops that had looked at his car, so there was some doubt. Making the turn He showed up later that day to grab his battery for replacement. I carried the battery out to his car for him. He still wasn't convinced that the battery was part of the problem, but because the printout from the battery scanner showed the bad cell he was willing to replace it, again. "How many times have you replaced it?" I asked. "This will make the 4th time I've taken the battery back within the last 6 months. The first one leaked, the next one had a loose post, and the last one went dead after the first day, and never would take a charge," he tells me, while lifting the tail gate to his daily driver. Hole no# 15 There in the back of his car was a set of golf clubs. As he slid his golf clubs off to one side to make room for the battery, I couldn't help but notice they looked like new clubs. "New clubs, Calloways right?" I said. "Yea, just got them. I traded in my old set for these. What a difference it makes to play with good quality clubs," he proudly tells me. Even though I'm a weekend hacker, I thought I might use this opportunity to give a quick golf lesson. "What did you play with before?" "Oh, just some knock off clubs, they were alright, but you sure can tell the difference when you play with the good quality stuff," patting his clubs carefully while placing a towel over them. "Did ya ever think that automotive batteries are manufactured just like those golf clubs?" "I'm not following you," he says. "There are cheaper golf clubs that can do the job, but better equipment can improve your game. The same thing with car parts; if you buy cheap parts, you're more than likely adding to the problem if the cheaper part fails prematurely. Golf clubs, car batteries, it doesn't matter. There's always better, best, and of course a whole lot of worse out there," I told him. "So you're suggesting buy better parts?" "Just like the golf clubs," I said. "Hey, that makes sense. I wonder why I never thought about that? More people need to know about cheap parts, and what you gain by paying just a bit more… I get it… thanks." To the 17th "Cars are my business and knowing cheap vs. good parts is part of my job. This is where my experience pays off for you, the consumer. I've been around long enough to know what a good part is, and what's not," I told my golf playing customer. "That makes so much sense. It's unbelievable I would ever think I knew enough about car batteries to know which one was a good one, and which one is not. (Laughing now) Funny you should tell me all of this, because that's what the guy at the pro shop said when I was looking at changing clubs. The pro at the golf shop suggested letting him use his expertise to find that right set of clubs for me," my birdie putting customer tells me. Mulligan That afternoon he called back, seems the department store's battery department didn't want to give him his money back. And their reasoning behind it?... Oh this is priceless… they told him: "The battery they originally sold me is not the correct battery for the truck, so they can't warranty it any more, or give me my money back. Then they tell me that if I would have purchased the correct battery size in the first place they would have no problem warranting it." For real? You've got to be kidding me. I've heard of all kinds of reasons why you couldn't honor a warranty, but the fact that they sold him the wrong battery is a new one on me. You'd think after 3 attempts at replacing the battery that someone there would have checked to see if it was the correct battery. Unbelievable. Needless to say, I had to get involved and press the battery salesman to cough up the cash. 18th hole With the draw repaired and a decent battery installed, there wasn't much else to do except look forward to the next weekend golf game. At least now this guy could get back to driving golf balls, and not worry about his Jeep sitting at home. I think he learned a valuable lesson that there is a difference in the manufacturing of quality automotive components and where you purchase them. Using golf as a comparison worked well for this customer. I'm not a pro golfer, but I'm a pro in my field, and sometimes I might know a thing or two about my favorite pastime. At least as a golf playing-mechanic I can show my expertise where it counts. Maybe even putt for an eagle once in awhile, or shave off a stroke or two on my handicap. Whether it's a round of golf or diagnosing automotive problems it still comes down to the same thing-- quality, good information and practice. I'd like to thank everyone that reads my stories. ASO is the place where I preview my articles/stories before they go to the editors. Some stories make it, some get changed, and some get rewritten. But, eventually they all go out for publication. If you don't have a subscription to some of the magazines that I write for here's a couple of the websites to go to and sign up for them. They are all free subscriptions.. no cost to you at all. www.brakeandfrontend.com, www.import-car.com, www.underhoodservice.com, www.autobodynews.com, these are the magazines that have actual printed copies. There's more but they don't have websites (hard to believe in this day and age) Also, there are web based sites only... that I write for. You can also leave comments on the websites for my stories too. Leave a comment, always love to hear you comments. Thanx again. Gonzo View full article

If there ever was a weekend tournament for ASO members, I'll bet you would be crying and begging for me to be on your team... LOL One of these days we'll have to have a ASO convention somewhere... and if so... Golf has to be included. What ya say Joe, how about it... Let's do it!!!

I damned sure did..

It's easy... around midnight I plug myself into a wall socket and recharge... ha ha ha. Just kidding, I make the time, I'm not one to sit around. My drive back and forth to work is my thinking time for my next article. I plan 3 nights a week to work on stories - 1 night is family ONLY night (thursdays) Saturday morning I listen in on a radio show out of DC, (I'm on once in a while) and post my story for the week. Saturday is also the day to work around the house and Sunday is my golf day, while Sunday evening I do another radio program (2 hours long) and I finish the night doing my Coast to Coast live Car Chat on my website. Somewhere in there is a couple of cold beers and big cigar... LOL I'll slow down one of these days... My wife says that some days I get going so fast that if I would stop suddenly, I would run smack-dab into my own shadow. LOL It's fun, the money part isn't the greatest. (yet) But, I'm enjoying this a whole lot more than running a crew at the repair shop. My shop is still there, still busy and slow like it has been for years, although, scaled down from years past... which gives me the time to work on all of my other interests. As far as the fishing, that's easy... it's right out my front door on my pond. Come on down to Oklahoma and see how this old country boy gets it all done sometime. Don't worry I'll slow down for ya. FYI I'm a 7 handicap golfer too. LOL

Thanx guys, appreciate it very very much. I've been a story teller all my life and greatest thing for me is now the ability to share those stories with everyone. My wife says I have the gift of gab and should be on radio. LOL, it should be the curse of the mouth, because I can get into as much trouble since I can't keep it shut... LOL Thanks again, and you can count on more stories from old Gonzo. If ya think about it, I write at least 52 stories a year... one a week, plus tech articles, product reviews, book signings, etc.. etc... Oh, and run my repair shop... busy busy busy Gotta get back to work. Thanks again Gonzo

The J2534 is the main reflash unit. Either with a mongoose cable or a J2534 box (tool) There are limitations. Some of those are that you only can flash transmission, engine, and security. (whatever fits the need to get it to start the car) You'll find all kinds of loopholes in the J2534, such as ... Chrysler... you have to have the part number off of the PCM (the part number is the "calibration" number.. (one in the same)) However you have to log onto Chrysler's site and check for the latest calibration update... (Checking the part number and any new revisions) These revisions are the last two digits of the part number (the suffix) If you don't have the latest software calibration downloaded into your PC and you try to download an old suffix calibration into the car... crash goes the computer... buy another PCM and start over, and if that happens you won't be able to install all the software, only the tranny, engine, and possibly the security, you'll still have to send it to the dealer. So make sure you have the latest at all times. Ford has some similar issues, I do have a Mongoose cable (J2534) for Fords that plugs into my PC, but I also have the NGS and the IDS... The download on the Ford site is for J2534 applications ... nothing else is available for aftermarket. I could go on about each site and the details... but it's pretty much the same thing... good, bad, and ugly... Here's the one thing that NOBODY has mentioned in any of the classes I've attended, or lectures I've been to. YOUR PC HAS TO BE COMPATIBALE WITH THE MANUFACTURERS PROTOCALS. This IS the biggest pain in the ASS I deal with about getting onto the sites. One site will tell you that you have to have such and such pixel settings, with Java5, and then another has to have all of your security stuff (Norton etc...) off, and you have to have the start up reconfigured to allow certian popups while booting up. Some want all your screen savers off while others don't want any competitors software anywhere on your PC or it will corrupt each other to the point NOTHING works. Been there, done that. I sometimes spend a day just getting the PC ready to accept the info to download from the manufacturer. AND, some of these issues require you to buy some special program to patch into your PC so the download will work... Example, you don't need to have Adobe 5 to get the 3 protocals and calibration files from Chrysler, however, if, ... a big if... you are instructed to view a TSB for the car you want to flash you got to have the Adobe 5... go find it.. yea, you'll shell out 1800 bucks to boot for it. Look, I ain't the smartest socket jockey out there, I haven't a clue what have this crap is for when it comes to reflashing and why we have to do it... I think it's just the manufacturers way of making things more "self-protecting-of-their-own-products" I'm mean come on, do we really need to program a friggin drivers side window in a Mustang??? WTF is that all about. (yes I've had to do that to several) But I'm sure there's a whole bunch of techs out there that will tell me that they have a better way, well... damm it, quit hiding it A lot of this information I've learned the hard way and if there is more to the story then...tell the rest of ASO.. We are trying to work together here... If you have a better answer... and have experienced it... tell us... I'm all ears.

Ah, yes, I see I'm not the only one that find it some what "unmanly" to think I can't do the "25" thing anymore. I gotta admit, after I write these stories down, I find myself laughing.... because the relationship we all have of the situations we all deal with is the same no matter where you're at. Love to hear the comments... I really need to finish my hottub area.. cause, I sure could use it.

Nice Frank, how about the next time I need a short, jockey size guy... I'll call ya, and see if you can send him my way. LOL

Flexibility There's one thing I'd like to have back from my youthful days …my flexibility. All that movement and bending I used to do; contorting like some circus act and getting up from it all with no ill effects. Yea, that'd be nice, because I still need some of that flexibility today. I've gotten myself into a lot of crazy positions over the years, and it's not getting any easier. After all these years I still have to get my head under a dash like some acrobatic act. I don't know about you, but I find rolling down the window and sticking my feet out of it works better than bending my back in some awkward positions. Its bad enough being under there but it makes it worse that I have to wear "cheaters" so I don't have to try and bend my head back so far to find the bifocals, and squeezed under the dash is not the appropriate time to lose that flexibility. At times I've had my whole arm shoved through some air conditioning duct looking for a mouse nest, retrieving little "Tommy's" favorite school pencil, or a valuable ring that made its way down the heater vents. But there was this one car I'll never forget. A little Mazda Miata convertible came in the shop one day. It was more than your normal street driven Mazda, it had a full roll cage welded into the car. It still had the factory doors on it but they were practically useless. Oh they opened, but you would have to be extremely small to fit under the roll cage bars and squirm your way into the driver's seat. I would guess there was about a 2 foot opening between the bars. The main roll bar support was welded between the hinge area of the door and the door opening. This formed the convertible top arch, and came down into the back seat area. To make it even stiffer, they added a horizontal bar just above top of the seat cushion. It was welded to both ends of the arched piece. It wasn't a small pipe either; more like about 3 or so inches in diameter. The factory seats were replaced with those hard plastic racing seats, which made it even worse to crawl into the car. I found it a lot easier to do one of those "Dukes of Hazards" leaps into the thing. It wouldn't start, that's why it was at my shop in the first place, so crawling around on it was part of the job. This thing was set up to go racing, from top to bottom, but retained the street look from the outside of the vehicle. It meant business. (Ok, it's still a Miata though.) It had two problems, one which turned out to be just as difficult as the other one. The crank sensor hold down bolt had sheared off even with the block. That alone took some dexterity to remove the broken section. The other problem was someone took the computer out of the car. (I think somebody thought it was a ECM problem, when it really was probably only the broken bolt to the crank sensor.) The ECM had been removed by another shop, but after it was removed the owner of the car wasn't getting along with them at all so he had it brought over to my shop. The computer was also "hopped-up" for racing (where people find the places to do this to their cars, never ceases to amaze me.) The computer was under the center section of the dash below the ash tray area. It would have been a piece of cake to get to, if you could squeeze between the door and the roll cage. Not happening, sorry… even with the doors wide open the roll cage took up most of the door opening. There was only one way I was going to get to that part of the car. Head first down thru the top, dangling your feet and butt over the back of the seats and the horizontal tie bar that ran from side to side of the roll cage. All this while guiding both arms through the now darkening floor area, keeping in mind you have a ratchet with a 10mm socket on it, the ECM, a small screw driver between your teeth (don't drop it) and a flash light. With all the blood rushing to your head and your entire weight resting on the top of your skull it wasn't the most comfortable position to be in. To make it even worse, you had to move from one side of the foot well to the other to get all the bolts installed. The whole time I was doing this upside down side show act, I kept thinking, if the shop suddenly caught fire, they would find me right here just like this, upside down, feet straight up in the air, and that pocket screwdriver still clenched between my teeth. (Still ain't dropped it.) The worst part about it, once I got in there, I never put any thought on how I was going to get out. It's not like I have the strength to do a "stand on your head pushup". Come on, I'm not that young anymore, and besides, I don't think I could have done one of those even back in my younger days when I was in the Marine Corps and worked out everyday. The only way I could get out of there was to corkscrew myself off my back and get over onto my side, slip down into the back seat area (ain't much of a back seat) and duck around the roll cage bars, all the while trying to keep from blacking out. Mind you, those race seats don't have any give to them, and very little padding. Oh, the things I get into… and out of. What a day that was. I hope the owner never wants me to change that computer again. But, I'm sure there will be an even more difficult one out there sometime in the future. I'll have to pass on them anymore. It's that flexibility thing, you know. I play a lot of golf to help retain some of that "youthful" flexibility, (at least that's the excuse I'm giving the wife). But, there's one thing for sure; the older I get, the more I'm going to avoid standing on my head in tiny cars with roll bars and racing seats in them. ********************************************************************** Thanks for reading my stories, they are here before final editing and publishing. Your comments help me decide which ones get sent onto my publishers. Leave a comment and don't forget to stop by my website www.gonzostoolbox.com View full article

Oh the things we have to put up with in the business...

Thanx... (with the smoke still smoldering from under the collar)

I know what ya mean Jeff, I, at one time, used the old "brick" but after so many turn aways... I invested in the dealer scanners. I have almost all of the popular car scanners, Tech 2, DRB, NGS, etc... but minus most of the imports of course... But, I'm with you, I'll never get my money back out of them. Even to this day, I get repos from several banks that I do, they'll have a no start repo... I find out it has the wrong key. All the bank got with the repo was a cheap copy but not the programmed keys. I HAVE the programming and the cords, and the cards for most domestic cars and trucks. However, the key cost is HUGE, and even a long time customer such as the banks feel its still cheaper to tow it back to the dealer because they have the keys, and the software under one roof. I still lose out, even though I've got the stuff to do it. It's a never ending struggle to make the general public aware that the independent shop isn't going anywhere, but with today's technology, the advantage is still the dealer. When the cost of these scanners are the same as the dealer pays for them, and the consumer expects me to be a great deal cheaper than the dealer, it makes it tough to get my money back on the investment. I ain't giving up, hell no... I'm pissed off, but, I'm putting up with it. At this point, when I'm ready to throw the last wrench in the box whoever buys my place is going to have one hell of a stack of scanners. LOL Another day, another busted knuckle. go figure. Gonzo

A little birthday song from Paul McCartney for ya Joe... Happy Birthday. Gonzo