Gonzo

You can run, but you can't hide from these weirdos... I'm sending them to New York next... be looking for them...

Tweaker I was busy with the morning paper work when the front door swung wide open, as if a strong wind had just come up. A fumbling young lad comes bolting through the door like a linebacker. Two steps into the lobby and he trips over his own two feet, stumbles and manages to catches himself with his chin on the bar stool at the front counter. He took a few seconds to compose himself, then pops up straight and tall, and does a full body shake like a dog after a bath. "Hi, how u doin'?" he says, still adjusting his jacket from the collision with the bar stool. Quite a first impression, don't ya think? Trying to keep my composure I answered, "Just fine, you need some help there, buddy?" "My truck, you know… that red one out there in the parking lot." Now, I've heard some stories in my time, but this guy had a good one. His Chevy truck problems seemed to run the gauntlet of weirdness. One blank work order wasn't enough to write it all down. I ran out of room rather quickly and resorted to a yellow legal pad. It was turning into a full blown novel. It's the headlights, no… it's the blower motor, no not that either, it's the wipers, oh, wait a minute it's the transmission… wait, wait… the door locks. Nope, must be the engine, could be the radio, shucks no… it's the HVAC. I can't tell. The more he talked the more I kept writing. I wasn't sure if he was only adding as many things as possible so he could get it ALL looked at one time, or he was just making stuff up as he went along. I don't even know if he was keeping track of what he was actually talking about. It didn't matter… the weirdness got even weirder. "They've been tweaking my truck," he tells me. "Tweaking? What do you mean by "tweaking" and who was doing the "tweaking?" I said. (Bewildered and confused, but I had to ask.) "The guys who stole my truck, they were tweaking it." "Sorry to hear it was stolen. Did the cops get it back for you?" "No, I found it." "That's super, where did ya find it?" "At my friend's house, I pulled it back to my apartment with my motorcycle." (I would have loved to have seen that!) This keeps getting stranger and stranger. My legal pad was filling up. I gave up writing things down, and decided I'm just going to listen to this debacle for awhile, see where it leads. You know, sometimes I think there should be a psychiatrist on call for people like this. I think this stumbling-motorcycle-towing-tweaker needs a little tweaking of his own. "So …," I'm hesitant to ask, "You want me to "un-tweak" the truck?" "No, I need you to tweak it better. You can do that right?" Now exactly what this guy is referring to is still a mystery to me. At this point, I think Mr. Tweaker has gone from just plan nuts to certifiable. Not only did none of it make sense, but this guy didn't even want anything fixed. No seriously, he didn't…. Because, oh you'll love this… all of the systems he mentioned … WORK! Everything was fine; what he really wanted was his truck to be better than factory. The stolen part was as bogus as the rest of his story; he was using that as an excuse to gain an advantage over his insurance company. Oh sure, the car was at his buddy's house, and I think he did tow it back, but after talking to him it sounded like he owed his buddy some money for doing some repairs. ("Tweaking" I guess.) Not only was his suggestion of claiming it stolen questionable, old "Tweakie" forgotten a few important steps to his master plan. He didn't file a police report, notify his insurance company or… pay his last premium. (He told me that after I informed him his plan wasn't going to work.) So not only was his little caper to turn his truck into a Chevy pickup on steroids by "tweaking" the factory specs an idiotic plan, but his method of paying for the whole thing was completely illegal. "Ok buddy, you're done here. You can take your truck and head down the road. I can't help you with your silly little adventure. You've got more issues than I care to deal with, and most of them are not with your truck." He stood at the counter for awhile as if he was in shock. Blinking several times like he was staring at a bright light, then shook his head as if he just took a huge shot of 100 proof Scotch… stared at me some more, then looked at me as if I was the crazy one. He stepped straight backwards into the same bar stool he just hit his chin on. With some not so graceful moves he spun around the bar stool, clanking his shoes against the legs, and made his way to the lobby door. I stood there about to break into uncontrollable laughter watching this klutz fumble with the front door trying to figure out which side would swing it open. When he did get it right, he threw the door open with all his might, swinging the door wide, and glared at me as he barged through the opening, only to have the door swing back at him nearly smacking him in the head. After jumping into his truck he backed out of the parking space and dropped the clutch to lay some rubber. The tires gave a quick little chirp just before the truck stalled. Then I heard… crank, crank … crank, crank … crank, crank… vroom!!! With the motor still coughing from the rich mixture, he crept away from the shop bucking and jerking till the engine cleared its throat, and then drove out of sight down the road. Oh, the wonders of the automotive driving public in this world we live in will never cease to amaze me. I hope there are a few more "tweakers" out there who haven't made it to my shop yet … do me a favor… stop on by… I really enjoy a good comical start for a morning once in awhile. View full article

A doctor explains his billing to you (Ok, the front office does) you are sitting there in pain... and you say "YES" The car can't show pain (Just wait they'll figure a way for that too) So customers don't make the connection between service work ,dollars and maintenance. Beats me why... same old thing day in and day out. I told a customer the other day, "You put a band-aid on a cut, you comb your hair and brush your teeth. That's ALL mainentance, your car deserves the same treatment... maintenance can prevent failures just like brushing your teeth keeps your teeth healthy." I might as well have been talking to the glove box.

Sure do... not as many as it used to be. To hot for all that hair around here... LOL

Boy, can I relate. The worst customers for me to deal with are the so called "high-end-professionals" doctors, lawyers, policeman, dentist, etc... but topping the all time list is the bible toting Christians. When I see the beehive hairdo or the bible on the front seat I know I better have every "I" dotted and "T" crossed... even then it's going to be a task. The ones that have the Chilton manual or the owners manual neatly opened to the page on the passenger seat only make me laugh. Most of the time I throw the manual in the back seat. Those "wanna-be" DIYr's are the most fun. They try to act like they are a professional but only come off looking even more stupid than they started out to be. Too funny... makes for great stories... Thanks for the comments guys. I'm glad we all can relate to the stories. Gonz

DAD'LL DO IT I got a call one afternoon from an old customer, friendly sort guy, easy going and quite a successful business man. He was out of country and his wife was having some car issues. "Sure, just have her drop it off sometime today," I told him. "Thanks, you know what to do. As long as it's not expensive just take care of it for me," he answered. Later that day the car showed up at the shop. It wasn't that big of a deal to repair. It didn't need my years of experience to make the repair, but, my old friend and customer trusted that I would find the out what was wrong with it. His little wife filled me in on the problem at hand, "Oh, it shakes so badly, especially when I'm driving. I hope you can take care of it," she said. What was causing the shaking wasn't a mind blowing weird issue, but a simple spark plug wire problem. One of the wires had gotten up against the hot exhaust and burnt in two. The only thing high tech about this job was putting the car on the scanner and clearing the "miss-fire" information from the computer's memory. Everything was as straight forward as far as repairs go, no other problems, no other concerns. She came in later that day so happy to get her car back in tip top shape. Why, she even said it was nice to know someone like me to do this kind of work while her husband was away on business. (How nice of her) What happened the next day was a total surprise to me. The phone rang, but not the usual ring. I'm no phone "whisperer", but I'm telling you, it had the kind of ring tone to it that reminds me of a Saturday morning cartoon where the phone is jiggling back and forth, nearly flopping off the receiver rest. I was leaning over the counter when the front desk took the call. Seemed like a straight forward, average, nothing to be concerned with phone call. I'm not involved in the conversation I just happened to be in the front office at the time. I probably should gather up my paper work and head back to the shop. But, why am I still standing here? What is compelling me to hold fast to this very spot waiting for this phone call to end? Experience I guess… I knew something was up. The one sided conversation that I could make out wasn't sounding like a good way to start out the day. Oh no, it's her…the wife with the husband out of town from the day before. Oh boy, here we go… "You over charged me, I feel cheated, I didn't give you approval to do the work, and you should have called me before doing any of it. I'll have you know my father could have done the same repair for next to nothing," she said. Normally I would get pre-approval but the husband and I have been working together for years and if it was something major I would have called him… but come on, it was a set of spark plug wires… not rocket science, and the approval was already given by the out of town hubbie. How did I go from the savior of the family truckster, to Satan's second born all in one day? Oh, I got it now, I should have known. Husband is out of town and the next most likely "man" in her life is… Dad. It's the old "Dad'll Do It" routine; as soon as old dad knows what's wrong … He becomes the supreme expert on auto repair and I become the village idiot. It stands to reason; as a professional "DAD" he has more knowledge and skill than my measly, worthless, years of experience, and technical background in the field of auto repair. Where was good old dad the day before? Or, did dad just receive this wisdom of auto repair overnight? Well, of course he did… as soon as she told him what I wrote down on the invoice as far as the diagnosis and the repair... what a genius dad is, he's got it all figured out… that's how. The only thing left to do is call the repair shop and start chewing me out for doing the job her husband wanted me to "take care of." This "20/20 hind sight" is no reason for a person to fly off the handle based on "dad's" evaluation. Stop and think for second… as a professional repair shop (Or any profitable venture) we charge the customer for services rendered, and of course, good old dad will do it cheaper…. Would you expect anything less from your dad? My question is; why didn't the husband just simply call dad? Maybe the husband wasn't sure that "dad" could take care of the problem. Maybe husband and dad don't get along. It could be, that dad is an ace mechanic and could have solved the problem with no trouble at all. Why "Old Dad" may have a work shop in the back of the garage, maybe in an out of the way place where he takes apart old TV sets and builds his own automotive diagnostic machine out of the used parts. Why it could have saved me --- --- "minutes"… … … in diagnostic time. What was I thinking? I need to find this guy… He could be the asset my shop has been needing for years! Then again, he could just be a dad looking out for his little girl. Decision making on service work after the fact is never going to make my life any easier. Whether it's the fact the husband may not have told wife exactly how things were going to be handled, or old dad is proving to his daughter he still has what it takes to keep the car on the road. I'm still going to end up being the village idiot over the whole thing. Maybe next time she needs something done she should just call good old Dad first… why not… … we all know… … … "Dad'll Do it." Coming up with a new story each week can be quite a challenge. I keep trying, some are better than others, but, I always post them here first. You guys and gals help make the decision of which ones go to the editors and actually get published. Your comments help a lot. Keep them coming. Gonzo View full article

Just goes to show ya... there's always more than one way to get your A$$ out of a jam. Gonzo

I know what ya mean Joe, we as the repair shops seem to be always at odds with the customer. The part that gets me is the lack of the apology. Only once did I have a lady call me back and apologies. It was after I plugged her rear view mirror back in that had been unplugged by the handicap sticker. She couldn't see her auto dim headlights working after I told her the only thing wrong was the mirror was unplugged. The next day she called me and was very apologetic. After I hung up the phone, I had a smile all day. But, that was once.. and only once in all these years. I'll never understand it either.

Joe, from your story you answered your own problem. You, at 25 made the decision to do better. That is the difference in you and a employee. I see this all the time, and from being in a association for the past 15 years of business owners in my area I hear the same thing from each and everyone of them. Every Tuesday we meet for lunch and it's amazing how the same thing happens in every business. I've never had an employee that put as much effort in it as I do, mainly the employee looks at me as the guy with all the money. HA, what money.... Most of them only see their paycheck at the end of the week and have no CARE to figure out where each and every dollar goes when a job is completed. It's as if they think the whole thing goes into the owners pocket. But, if things start getting tight, and slow at the shop, they're the first to run down the street looking for work. To have as many employees as you do and keeping it all together is an art. You've accomplished more than you think Joe... there's no shame in your game... You've done well.... step back from it a second, and look at the whole picture... you'll have pride in what you've done. Believe me, it's worth the look.

You're ALL heart Frank.... all heart....

Mark, always great to see a new start up. You'll find a lot of great guys and gals here. Glad your here. Gonzo

Same to you Joe. Have a great day...

Not to give away new stories... LOL... but I had a guy who accused me of driving his truck in another city an hour and a half away from the shop. He said he personally saw ME driving his truck. Now that's really funny, his truck was in the shop with the motor out of it... hanging from the engine hoist.... What a dip stick......

Same Time-Same Station After a simple repair, that for the most part had no real hiccups in it, the next day I received a call from the customer. The caller didn't waste any time chewing me out. "What did you do with my radio?" "Excuse me, is this about the car that was in yesterday?" "You know which one, the one you stole the radio out of." "Sir, I don't have your radio. I have no reason to take things from your car. I just…," he cut me off before I could finish. "I know how all of you guys work. Now, if I don't get my radio back today I'm calling the cops." "You might as well call them. Maybe they can help find your radio, because I can guarantee I don't have it." "Fine, I'll see you in court!" Ah yes, the old "I'll see you in court" routine. When yelling, cursing, and screaming doesn't get the job done, let's try the second stage of threats. You know, I've been at this car repair business for quite some time, and this isn't my first ride on the back of the turnip truck. I've been down this bumpy highway before, and I've got the bruises to prove it. I'm not going to get all excited over this vanishing radio, because these things always find their own way of working out. It could be this guy just has his AM and FM signals crossed up and 9 chances out of 10 there's always some explanation to the whole thing. At this point, I can't do anymore than tell him the truth… I don't have it. If these irate callers would turn their volume down just a bit, and check to be sure they're on the right station maybe things would come in a lot clearer then they might find their answer. "Why don't you bring the car by, and I can take a look at it. I might be able to do some detective work and determine what might have happened to the radio." "Oh, you just want to slip it back in the car while I'm not looking, so I won't call the cops." "Sir, I can't help you if you don't bring it in. Once it's here I think we can get to the bottom of this." Right now all he wants to do is act like this is some sort of radio call in show and vent at somebody. Since I'm the guy on the other end of the phone, I guess it's my turn. The only difference is I don't have the 5 second delay before all his ranting goes out over the air waves… It's coming to me "Live --- On the spot -- broadcasting". Click, goes the phone, and my radio debut has ended with the smoke still filtering out of my telephone receiver. Later that day the "talk-show-wanna-be" called back. He still sounded upset, but he was going to let me in on a little secret. In a very angry tone he told me his son had removed the faceplate to the radio and stuck it behind the driver's seat. (His son didn't want anyone to steal his precious tunes.). But, of course, he didn't bother to tell disc jockey dad anything about it. "I'm glad you sorted it out sir, at least it saves you a trip back to the shop," I said, relieved that I was off the hook, and maybe now my ratings would start to go back up. "That doesn't mean I'm ever coming back to your shop anytime soon," he said in a harsh and threatening way. Click, went the phone again, no apology, no thanks for trying to help out … no… nothing. So much for my ratings…. In a way, I'm glad he took the time to call me, and let me know the radio face plate was found. I'm sure it's more of a personal embarrassment to him that he accused me of doing the deed before checking things out on his own. Then again, guys like this usually tend to be like this about everything they do. More than likely they do the same thing at a restaurant or other public places. Telling me, "I'm not coming back to your shop" sounded more like this long time listener-first time caller just didn't want to admit to it, or say "I'm sorry"… Hey, that's fine with me, I'm used to it. I can bounce back and be ready for the next caller. I'm not happy about losing a customer over something like this, but I'm more relieved this radio program has started to roll the closing credits. I'm sure my ratings will improve with the next job. As hard as I try, I can't win them all. I just wish I could "Click" these demons of the air waves off the air rather than listening to their badgering remarks when I know none of it is true. It's time to end this broadcast and get on with the next job. Sure would be nice to deal with a customer who's not so eager to accuse me of something without checking their facts first. Oh, they'll be another crackpot caller sooner or later, you know there will be, there always is. So, if you're looking for the guy on the other end of the phone, look no further, I'll be right here…. Same time, same station. View full article

Wonderful story Joe. Those men of steel would be proud of you... and especially proud of ASO. Good job Joe.

I could use that... make a neat story line... LOL..

It's stories like yours Joe, that prompted me to write this one. I don't really care to write "ticked-off-about-people" stories, but, this was one area that I thought should be addressed. If we, as the law abiding repair shops, do our utmost to perform our jobs with the best intentions... what the H$$L are we supposed to do when some gear grinding idiot puts us in a postion that we are not comfortable with. Ya wanna help them, but you can see the lies and criminal intent in their eyes. To drive a vehicle that is UNSAFE and to knowingly go get it inspected somewhere else... is...in my book... purely a criminal act. Good for you Joe... I'll guarantee, If I would have been there... I would have Ffn' the customer myself with my own brand of cuss words. ...