Gonzo

Where's Waldo? OK, I really do fix cars for a living. I take a car with a problem, locate the problem, and make the appropriate repair. Sometimes I haven't a clue where to look when I start, but with a few proper tools, a little ingenuity, and a whole lot of experience I'll find the problem. It's like finding Waldo, yea that little nerdy guy in red and white. The one that hides in plain sight sometimes, and even as careful as you can be, you'll usually have to look closely to find him. Except my "Waldo" doesn't wear a red and white cap to give himself away. My Waldo is usually something to do with a component or part that has failed, or has decided to be difficult. I sometimes think that these weird repair jobs that end up at my shop are like an elaborate game of "who can find Waldo first". I'm not always the first guy to try and find Waldo. A lot of times a customer will take their car to a relative or next door neighbor, and when that doesn't work they'll find the cheap shop or the closest garage in their area. Even more often I'll hear a customer tell me they always go to a certain shop for all their repairs, so they think nothing of going to a specialist for any repairs. But, when that doesn't work it's time to ask for a recommendation for a shop that can make the repairs. Now this isn't true of everyone, a lot of people have a family mechanic they have used for years, while others believe the dealership is the only place to go for repairs. Whichever or whatever way works for each and everyone is just fine with me. One way or another somebody has to find Waldo. When it comes to cars, Waldo can be pretty crafty. He can be hiding in thousands of places. He can be under the hood, behind the dash, in the trunk, or under the seat. He can be well concealed or under layers of components, carpet, plastic, or engine parts. With today's cars he can even be inside a computer lurking about as a corrupted bit of information. I never know where he'll show up, but I'll do my best to find him. The other day I was on a Waldo hunt for a wacked out gas gauge. The fuel gauge was stuck on empty on this 03 Ford Van. It came from another shop after they had given up on it. The shop had already tried a new sending unit in the tank, but it only lasted a day or two before the gauge quit again. So where is that little beanie cap wearing weirdo hiding this time? I think I'll start with a little behind the steering wheel work first. After doing the self-test on the dash it was clear the gauge was not responding, so I decided to break out the gauge simulator and hook it up to the fuel gauge. Even with the tester adjusted to 160 ohms (full tank reading) it never budged off of empty. Gotcha Waldo! You're in the instrument cluster… ah HA! Got ya this time for sure ya skinny little twerp! I got the new cluster approved and installed it the next day. Hooked up to the scanner checked that all the programming needed was done, typical stuff… mileage, tire size, etc… not a big deal (with the right scanner, an IDS in this case or the dealer parts department can set most of it up for you when you order it… Actual programming needs varies from year to year, so be careful to follow all manufacturer's directions). I was so convinced that I had this one I didn't think I needed to recheck my work. I was in for a surprise when the gas gauge didn't move right away. I've seen this before; it can take a minute or two or up to even 20 minutes if the key was on while filling up the tank. I didn't recall turning the key on when I was installing the new cluster, but by the time I had the van off the lift and backed out of the shop the gauge was working. Done, problem solved… Waldo you're out-a-here! Boy was I wrong. Seems old Waldo had to come back just a few days later. The gauge is back on empty again just as it did with the first shop. Now what is he doing… that Waldo he's a crafty kind of little nerd… is he messing with me? I'm about to go "mechanic" on his little butt. Back to the gauge tester again, this time the gauge reacted with every movement and changed with every setting I could put it thru on the tester. I knew the empty reading on this tank is around 15 ohms and a full tank is 160, so I should have a reading somewhere in between those reading from the tank sender. It was 16 ohms… oh come on… is this tank empty? I gave the tank a couple of knocks with my knuckle "rap, rap, rap" and muttered to myself very sheepishly, "You in there Waldo?" I got an approval to drop the tank down to check it further. I could tell the other shop changed the tank sending unit. They had butt connected the lead together (gee, ya could have just disconnected it), but I did notice something rather strange about the sending unit. The float was bent around the fuel pump and an edge of the bail was trapped against the actual fuel pump bracket. Waldo is up to something here, and it's not the sender. I grabbed a flashlight and looked down in the tank. There inside the tank is the tray that the fuel pump rests in. It's mainly there as a way to control the sloshing effect of the fuel and to help give the gauge a steady reading. The only thing was… the tray wasn't staying in place. It had broken free from the bottom of the tank and was sliding back and forth as the van drove down the road. "Waldo… you've been a very naughty little fellow," I said to myself. The only thing that made sense about the dash being bad was somebody must have tried to send voltage back up the sending wires to the dash, and it probably knocked the gauge out. It wouldn't have been hard to do with the gauge and fuel pump leads all in the same connector. Somebody could have easily (accidently I hope) crossed the wrong leads, which created another "Waldo". While the original Waldo remained in hiding inside the gas tank the whole time. Now I just have to tell the customer where I found him at this time. Great, just great…. Two Waldo's in two places in one car. I think I'll let Waldo explain this to the owner, "Waldo … Waldo… where's Waldo?" Typical… I've got to go find him again. Keep those comments coming, makes my day....that's for sure! Got an idea for a story, email me [email protected] Always looking for your input. Don't forget... the more you go on line and read my articles the more the advertisers are watching too. Stop by any babcox magazine website, leave a comment if you can. www.brakeandfrontend.com, www.importcar.com, www.underhoodservice.com, www.counterman.com, www.enginebuilder.com, www.diagnosticnews.com.... and several others. If you don't see my column at your favorite magazine... SEND THEM AN EMAIL... and TELL THEM. I'd definetly appreciate it. View full article

I don't know about the "do anything" part. But thanks for the vote of confidence. I think I'll take up pencil sharpening. Maybe quilting... wife could teach me. Hard part is when I fill out my resume ... does "grave robber/digger" fall under skilled... or under experienced... never sure about that one. have a great day.

that's so true... and that's why they are so easily forgotten about.

An old story that I did years ago

Hot Rod Hot Head Had a customer come in the shop a few years ago with a 52' Ford pickup he was restoring. Most of the truck was in primer or bondo and most of the engine work was done. The real goal was to turn it into a show truck. It needed to be a class "A" job. Not a problem, I was up for the challenge. This was way back before the advent of the aftermarket wiring harness systems we have today, so everything had to be handmade and carefully laid out so it could be tucked out of view. It took me a week or so to get the project done, but it was worth the effort, everything was perfect and all the wiring was out of sight. You couldn't have asked for a better looking job on any old truck. After I was done it was off for paint and new wheels. It was several months before I saw the truck again. Now it's a shade of light blue with just a touch of silver metallic in it, beautiful paint and finish. He wanted me to add a cruise control to it before the interior was finished. Once the interior was done he was heading off to his first show. The aftermarket cruise control (he provided) worked great right out of the box, and the wiring was also as neat as the rest of the job. The next day the owner picked up the truck and was heading to the upholstery shop to have the carpet and interior finished. I figured the next time I would see this truck would be after he came by to show off the trophy he won, but was it was more than a year later before I heard from him again. Apparently something came up and the truck was put on hold shortly after leaving my place. When the truck did show up, the outside looked as good as I remembered it. All new carpeting, seats, door panels… the works, and a working stereo system was installed that wasn't there before. I wasn't too pleased to see all the worked I had done was now just a cobbled mess. When I asked the owner about it his only comment was that the carpet guy was the last one to work on it and his buddy at the carpet place swears up and down that it was my fault and that I didn't know what I was doing. Now that was a strange answer, I certainly wasn't expecting something like that coming from him. I went ahead with the touch up work on the wiring that needed to be done. Wires from the stereo and wires from the cruise control were all bundled together like spaghetti. Later that afternoon I got a call from the upholstery guy, what a jerk… he called me every name in the book and made it perfectly clear he didn't like mechanics. "All you thugs that call yourself mechanics are nothing but a bunch of high school drop outs that couldn't get a job flippin' hamburgers," the big mouth tack slinger screamed thru the phone. As far as he was concerned the only expert in the whole entire world that knew anything about building a show quality truck was him. His continuous badgering of the automotive repair field went on and on. I finally had enough of it; I lashed back with a vengeance. I gave him both barrels of verbal abuse that I had and I didn't give him a chance to open his big fat mouth before I slammed the phone down on the receiver. Another couple of months go by and like a lot of those "hot head" jobs you tend to forget about them and just go on with the daily work. But there it was again… that same 52' Ford in front of my shop. "Hi ya doing buddy," the owner says, "Got some more work for ya to do." (Don't ya know I was surprised.) Are we like serious? Not like I've totally forgotten about dealing with his jackass carpet buddy. This time around he added even more stuff to the truck than before. Now the stock hood hinges had been removed and an aftermarket system was installed. The new hinges allow the hood to be opened backwards. The "normal" front of the hood is now the hinge area and the end next to the windshield is the latching side. On the fenders there are a couple of looping chromed metal bars. These bars are what a pair of rollers ride between and guide the hood into place and hold the hood securely closed. I've seen these before, they're pretty trick. My job was to rewire the front headlights and turn signals that were cut out when the body shop installed the hinges. I had the work finished in no time, the owner picked up the truck with a smile. (As if there was never a problem.) As he was leaving he mentioned to me he was going back to the upholstery shop to have some details taking care of. When he said that I kind of smiled, you know the type, the kind of fake smile you see on a store manikin. I knew there is trouble to follow; I just don't know what kind. But, I'm sure of one thing… I'll be blamed again. A week later the truck showed back up. I could see from across the shop that the hood wasn't closed correctly. "Hi, what's up? Looks like the hood isn't shutting right, what happened to it?" I said with that now familiar manikin smile I had a week earlier. "You should know what's wrong with it!" he said angrily. The next thing I know he was accusing me of the whole mess. Remembering how the "carpet tacker" rattled my cage before, I wasn't going to stand for it a second time. "First off, did it look correct when you left here a week ago?" I said. "Yea, it did." He answered. "And then you went to your buddy the carpet dude again. This is sounding just like the cruise control problem all over again." "Call up there and find out if anybody looked at the engine." I blared out at him. Later he had his answer, it was what I had thought all along, somebody had the hood open and didn't close it correctly. I ended up repairing the bent parts so the hood would close correctly and got the truck back to show condition. The old 52 Ford and its owner only shows up once in awhile these days to show off a new "bling" he's added, and as far as I know the upholstery hot head has packed his carpet bag and headed out of town. Sure makes it tough to help out a customer when somebody has influenced them into believing your doing something wrong when all you've done is something right. Especially when they're friends of the customer… and you're just one of those… "mechanics". Your comments are what make the difference. ASO is the first to see the new articles even before the editors do. You like it, let me know. As always... thanx to everyone for reading them. View full article

Been there don't that... wrote the book, bought the t shirt... now just waiting to watch the movie. if those Hollywood types wanted to make a reality TV series a Real reality TV show ... just go to a repair shop ... you'll get all the reality you'll ever need.

You've got it right Joe.... there's a lot of Charlies and Tonys out there... they'll never learn... cause they think they already know... LOL Thanx for the comments. U da best

Check Engine Charlie Charlie comes in every now and then. I guess you could say he's a regular but I think I would call him more of an opportunist when it comes to his car repairs. He'll go to an oil change place for oil changes, a tire shop for tires, a transmission shop for transmission, so on and so on. If there is an opportunity to get his car into a shop he'll make an appointment and get it in. But, the one thing he seems to always use me for is the check engine light. Normally, most people don't pay that much attention to the check engine light unless it's staying on. Not Charlie, he's absolutely paranoid it will come on and stay on. Somehow, some way somebody has told him that the check engine light is not a warning of a problem with the exhaust emissions or related engine/transmission problems but the precursor to a ticking bomb that will bring an end to his ride of rides. It's as if the check engine light is the trigger to the doom and gloom of his car. At times, Charlie thinks the check engine light has stayed on a longer than it should when he starts it up in the morning. This prompts an immediate phone call and a trip to the repair shop. With all these trips he's seen me use several different code readers, scanners, O-scopes, and laptops that I have at my disposal to check codes and related engine systems. There's times I think he just wants to see what new gadget I've got that I can hook up to his car. The more bells and whistles I throw out there the more he seems to show up with another reason for me to recheck his car. He can probably name a bunch of the scanners that I've used… seriously… he's been to the shop that many times. Sometimes I wish he would take up antique car collecting. Go buy something old enough that it doesn't have a check engine light in it and see if he gets the idea that the entire universe doesn't revolve around a service light. It's not like he doesn't remember cars without check engine lights he just doesn't seem to understand that a car can operate without one anymore. Why he's even told me about an old car he drove while he was in college that leaked oil so bad that he had to keep a can or two with him at all times. Talk about something that sounds like it was on the verge of doom and gloom… also sounds like the typical college kids car. So you would think he would have some understanding of the inner workings of the automobile, but apparently once the service light came into the everyday vocabulary his understanding has wasted away just like the oil in that old car from college. I've tried to explain to him about the meaning of the service light and about the various reasons for it to come on but it just doesn't seem to sink in. I'm hoping the day never comes that his old car actually does turn on the check engine light… because if it did… he'd probably worry himself all the way to a coronary and he would have to have the car towed in while I'd have to make a call to 911 and have him towed to the emergency room. Of course I hope that never happens, but with him I could see something along those lines. I generally let him watch the scanners do their work or have him watch a graph while I check things under the hood. The other day he was concerned about his O2 sensors and wanted to know if they were working correctly because he thought he saw the check engine light pop on and then go right back off. There were no codes stored and I asked him if it happened when he first started it or after driving several miles. It was while he was driving for a bit and not when it first started. "What difference does that make?" he asked. I then explained to him about how the heater circuit operated to warm up the sensor and what the sensor actually did in relation to the fuel mixture. This only made him even more curious to what they did. "Watch this Charlie. I'll graph the O2 sensors here on this scope and I'll show you the front sensor and its corresponding rear sensor. You'll see the voltage changes on the screen as well as the differences between the front and rear sensors at the same time on the screen," I told him. "Fascinating, simply fascinating," he said, "But I don't see how that translates to fuel?" The more I explained the more he seemed to be lost. He still seemed to be more concerned about what was going to happen with that check engine light. I kept up with the explanation until I got to the point where he was just staring off into space and lost interest in me, the check engine light and the little graph moving up and down on the screen. I don't know if he ever understood a thing I said, or for that matter has reconsidered the importance of the check engine light. All I know is that at some point in time somebody is going to tell him something stupid regarding the check engine light and he'll make another trip to the shop and watch the fascinating little lines bounce around on my scope screen. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, old "Check Engine Charlie" will still listen to some B.S. from somebody out there and then head over to my shop for another diagnostics that will amount to nothing. Maybe I need to come up with my own B.S. to counteract what everyone else keeps telling him. I guess it comes down to the old saying: If ya can't dazzle them with brilliance… buffalo them with a little bull. There's a Charlie everywhere.... harmless and at the same time a little annoying. Gotta love em though. I'm glad you like the stories, I also enjoy reading your comments. I hope my stories brings you a little sanity into your busy days as much as it does for me. At least after reading one of them you realize you're not the only one that has odd customers or weird situations at your shop. thanx again Gonzo View full article

Welcome, nice to see you've found ASO. It's a great place to exchange ideas and find out what the rest of the country is up to. Keep in touch

Any perdiction that Frank makes has got to be true. LOL I think this year is going to be a better year. Mostly likely because it is an election year, or... because of my articles. LOL

Totally agree Joe. This is a year I plan to make a lot of changes for myself and my family. Most involve my repair shop and my work outside of the shop. I've put a lifetime into learning my job. Now I'm hoping to use those skills in more ways than just as a technician/shop owner. The future is what you make of it.... so make it a good one.

Now that made me laugh Frank. LOL. Here's a quick lesson on them. First there was the PROM (Programmed Read Only Memory) then later the EPROM basically the same thing although now the prom had some features that could be reflashed (a term we didn't even use back then) In the final version of the article I'm taking out the EPROM and just use the PROM in the story. Makes more sense for the time period of the car.

If you noticed I used the term "EPROM" this car actually only had a PROM and not an EPROM. Slight difference between the two. Just a little more of that "Old School" stuff you know. LOL

Makes my day to read your comments. I've got a feeling this story will get picked up for one of my columns pretty quickly. Thanx for you input. Glad ya enjoyed the article.

Stepping Back into the Future I had a 1984 Buick come into the shop that wouldn't start. I haven't seen one of these in years. It was a clean old car; not even a dent in it. The owner had a repair manual he purchased at a parts store, and being the kind of guy who was careful to do the correct thing to his vehicle he conveniently left it on the front seat for me to find. I turned the key to start, and let things happen as they may. The car would purr like a kitten for about a second or so, and then two very distinctive flames would shoot out of the throttle body. After the flames came flying out the engine would cough, spit, backfire, and for the most part never sound like that purring kitten that it did when it first turned the key. It did this without fail almost every time I tried to start it. Needless to say, understanding the fundamentals would have to come into play on this one. Why this engine was barking out a flame higher than the hood was an interesting problem and probably a problem I'll never see again. Being involved with the auto repair business for several decades I've seen a lot of the evolutions of the electronic brain boxes on cars. Repairing a misfire is one of those diagnostic challenges that has developed an entirely different approach than in years past. Prior to the advent of the computer a misfire could be easily identified by means of understanding the valve train or the spark control systems. Codes were no help at all, and quite frankly I wasn't expecting a whole lot of help out of service codes on that old of a car. Service codes of that era were limited and didn't cover the variety of problems associated with the emission output. The customer informed me that he had changed a lot of the basic parts: ignition module, cap, rotor, wires, plugs, coolant sensor, throttle position sensor, and the computer. Wait-wait… "You changed the computer?" I asked. "The guy at the salvage yard promised me it was a good one," the owner told me. "Let me check something, and I'll call you back," I told him. I nearly forgot to hang up the phone as I rushed out to the shop and dived into the car. There were no marks from a socket or wrench on the two bolts that hold the little cover onto the computer where the prom (EPROM) was located. Now the real question was… is this the correct one for this car? This was going to take a call to the dealer parts department and hope they still had a cross reference on the prom numbers. Marty answered the phone. I was super grateful I got Marty; he's been in the parts business as long as I've been in the business. I was sure he would remember these old proms. I gave him the numbers and waited for his response. I could hear the keyboard clicking away as he processed the information. Every time I thought he was close to answer he would say, "No, wait a second… it changed again… hang on… OK, here it is… hold on… another change." This went on for quite some time but eventually he came back with an answer. "That prom fits a 1984 Buick with a V6 engine," Marty proudly told me. "That should explain the two huge backfires… I've got a 4 cylinder engine in this car. OK, now we better check and see if the ECM is correct." "It is, as a matter of fact the ECM was the same for both engines back then," Marty exclaims. "I'll bet you don't have the prom anymore do you," I asked. "Nope…. Discontinued." After hanging up the phone I called the customer. He didn't throw out the old computer and it was in the trunk. (Lucky). After pulling the old prom out of the original computer, and installing it in the computer from the salvage yard the car started up and purred like a new again. Pretty weird diagnostics, but pretty cool at the same time. Obviously, the first four cylinders fired in a somewhat correct arrangement but the fifth and sixth cylinder wasn't and that's what caused the blazing fire to shoot out of the throttle body. I would have to say these types of problems are for the history books these days. Be it a short era in the history of automotive repair based on how long things like the distributor were used in a car. It reminds me of growing up in the 60's and 70's. Working on cars was a weekend past time for guys and gals. Tweaking an engine to get some more horsepower out of it was a great "Do-it-Yourself" or a dad and son event in almost every driveway. Those weekends under the hood were the start of my long career in the auto business, but these days there's not a lot a weekend mechanic can do under the hood, and going to the salvage yard to pick up a computer for the car is just not possible for most makes and models. It's amazing to me how the systems have changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. Having this 25+ year old car in the shop made me realize how much they have actually changed. But there are still some people who think you can still go to the salvage yard and pick up an electronic component for today's cars. That isn't so for most makes and models anymore. Most components are programmed for one car and one car only and without certain types of scanning equipment you can't use them ever again… and some components are not reprogrammable at all. After all these years of automotive repair to be able to experience the methods of the old computer based electronic ignition systems after working on today's vehicles made me realize how far we have come in such a short span of time. Ok, I've had my fun, I've got more work to do… time to step back to the future. As always, I love to hear your comments and suggestions. I'm open to anything. I'll keep writing you keep reading... thanx View full article