Gonzo

Here's an idea... if ever possible. How about a convention?? Have educational classes, instructional shop managment classes. Perhaps even some classes on diagnostics, latest equipment, etc... Get a bunch of suppliers to buy booth time for the convention, put a golf tournament together, door prizes, meals, hotel discounts, stuff like that. It would take a lot to arrange it all but,... it might work. just a thought....

good thoughts Joe. I like the way you think.

Can't say I've run across a backwards MAF. That's a new one. There's only a few of them out there that you could even possibly install backwards, and most of those have an arrow showing the direction to install it correctly. I give it an A for creativity, and an S for stupid. LOL thanks for sharing Frank

do it do it do it .... plan an outing... they will come.

OK, for that you can be on my team. Gotta have somebody who can find the golf balls. LOL All kidding aside. That's a funny story... heard it before. Still funny.Thanx for sharing

OMG! ! ! Now I'm sure of it Frank... YOU'RE NOT ON MY ASO GOLF TEAM! ! ! I can hear it now... "Where's Frank?" "Oh we left him back on no#12 he's still trying to hack his way out of that ladies flower garden on the west side of the tee box..." Frank... practice..practice...practice. If ya do that I'll let ya on my team.

I don't know what really causes it either Joe, but Mikey is right that it's a full moon somewhere. Must be the reason those wacky people are everywhere you go.

Full Moon Technically, a full moon is when the earth, moon, and sun are in approximate alignment, unlike the new moon when it is on the opposite side of the earth. The full moon has the entire sunlit part facing us, while the shadowed portion is entirely hidden from view. (A new moon has the entire shadowed side towards us.) When the moon is full the tides can be higher, also some say that animals can act differently, and there's talk that some people will act a little weird too. Is this weirdness caused by this alignment of the planets or is there something else to this moon phase thing? I'm no scientist or astrophysics major, I'm just a mechanic… and from what I've seen even the repair shop isn't immune to its' affects either. It's not just the type of problems that show up, it's the way they are explained at the front counter. If ever there was a reason to second guess what someone was trying to tell me, it would certainly be during a full moon. I don't want to sound superstitious, but somebody is going to have to explain to me what else it could be if it's not due to a full moon. I know it's sometimes hard to separate the facts from fiction when I'm dealing with a problem in a car, or when I'm trying to decipher the customer's explanation. It just seems worse the closer it gets to that time of the month. The number of strange customers, bad parts, or weird unexplainable problems always goes up right about then. Now, I don't sit around and calculate the time and date of the next full moon, but I can't help thinking about it after spending a day at the office with a bunch of wacky repairs and even odder customer complaints. Its kind a funny too; most of these odd problems seem to clear up within a few days, just about the same time the moon passes into its next phase. Take this weird situation that arrived at the door one day. A lady I've never met before, or even talked to comes into the shop. She walks up to the counter, and says in a quiet voice while looking around as if someone was following her and says, "I can't leave my car right now. I'm waiting for the aliens to arrive. I'll be back as soon as it's safe for me to drop the car off." She turned and walked out the door never to be seen or heard from again. I guess the aliens got her, or it could be the aliens fixed her car. I'll never know… Here's some of the myths the full moon has been linked to: increased homicide rate, traffic accidents, crisis calls to police or fire stations, domestic violence, births of babies, suicides, major disasters, casino payout rates, aggression by professional hockey players, violence in prisons, psychiatric admissions, agitated behavior by nursing home residents, assaults, emergency room admissions, behavioral outbursts of psychologically challenged rural adults, delusional beliefs that one has turned into an animal, sleep walking, and several other ailments. But in all these studies no one ever mentioned the effects of this lunar phenomenon on the lonely mechanic. Maybe it's time we make it known to these psychiatrists and other professional people who study things like this that they need to add automotive repair shops as another full moon dilemma. I should have had a psychiatrist at the shop the day this guy brought his cat with him to the front office. The guy tells me the cat knew where the electrical short was in his truck. The guy was very insistent so I played along with this cat diagnostics just for the laugh. We walked out to the truck with cat in hand, he gives the cat a little nudge towards the truck and says, "Find the short kitty" The little feline sniffed and purred around the truck for several minutes then rubbed up against the tires, jumped on the hood and then into the bed of the truck. This little diagnostic wonder ended its diagnostic journey curled up next to the rear bumper. Was the problem there? Ah, no… it was under the dash… I think the cat was just tired of walking around the truck. The owner told me I must have confused the cat's ability to locate the cause because I wasn't putting out the right "vibes" while the cat was searching for the problem. As the owner stated, "The cat has never been wrong before." Ok, sure… whatever ya say there fella. There's a chance there is a lunatic somewhere close… I know it ain't me and I don't think it's the cat. It's not often that big ball of cheese up there gets me to thinking the entire world has just gone nuts, but on those occasions that someone comes into the shop and tells me their car is possessed, or claims some mail order device is going to save them hundreds of bucks in fuel costs. I start to wonder about this moon thing. I, for one, don't believe in any of this stuff. I'd like to believe that I'm not affected by some mystic force when the moon is full, but since it seems to give everyone an excuse to go a little crazy once a month, I guess I'll just play along with the rest of the nutty world. There's something magical about heading out for a scenic drive late at night with that glowing orb hanging low in the sky. Get out into the open country away from the city lights and you can really appreciate the magical glow of the moon. Will it affect the car, I don't think so. Will it affect the person behind the wheel, well… maybe… just do the neighborhood a favor while you're looking at the glowing space ball… try to keep the howling down to a minimum. Just another day at the shop, just another situation to deal with. If you've read some of my previous stories you might have noticed I reused the alien lady part again... to funny to only mention one time in one story. LOL Hope you enjoy the stories, leave a comment if you can. Thanx again Gonzo View full article

I'd rather deal with the cars myself. LOL

Me Robot A customer walks up to the service desk, "Can you put my car on one of those machines that tells you what's wrong with my car?" This is nothing new. So many customers have this idea that there is some magical machine of the auto world that can give them the answer to their car's problem without much effort from the technician. As far as I know, and I've been around the toolbox a few times, there isn't any such machine out there known to man. Maybe it's a slip of the tongue kind of like how the use of a manufacturer's term for a product such as "Freon" when they actually mean R12. Maybe they meant to say, "Please check my car out and see what's wrong with it," rather than expecting some space age nuclear powered, all knowing, all seeing gadget from the planet Zeptar that sends out waves of diagnostic energy and makes any problem disappear. Not all novice drivers think it's a machine, but there are enough out there that really want some gadget from outer space to check their car. The car has become a space age invention, a device that most generally novices don't understand which leads to the idea that it must be only understood by beings of a higher intelligence. So, I thought I would ask some customers just what they are after when they ask for that space age "machine" that I seem not to know about. Then try to figure out what they really are expecting once their car is in the repair shop, and what they really think goes on back there when the hood is up. I was quite surprised at their answers. For the most part, a majority of them do believe there is a machine from the planet Zeptar. They really believe that most techs just wave this machine over the engine, and everything there is to know about the car comes out on a little print out. Some believe it's like the old TV show robots from years past that had the answers before there was a problem even came close. Kind of like when the robot on the TV show "Lost in Space" would start waving its arms around and yell out, "Danger, Danger Will Robinson". Seriously folks, it's a TV show. I think a lot of it starts off from our childhood. TV, radio, and movies tend to make the unbelievable… believable. Now, I'm not aware of any of these intergalactic solutions that the customer seems to know about, or any of these pieces of hardware they think I have at my disposal. I'm not a robot I'm a technician. I read up on as much of the latest information I can gather, and I spend my free time (what little I have) on researching new techniques or on different methods of solving vehicle problems that I haven't tried before. I've come to the conclusion what these customers are really wanting is a robotic equivalent to those TV robots and Hollywood movie special effects departments' idea of the all-knowing computer that moves, talks, and interacts with the other players in the drama. That equivalent robot is a highly trained, self-motivated individual who dedicates their working hours to a craft that requires a high caliber of intelligence an even more in-depth ability to comprehend, while being capable of deciphering the intricate details of the modern vehicle with the proper tools available. A robot, no… they need a technician. What the consumer is really trying to say is; "Put my car in the hands of a qualified tech who can find out what's wrong." They want him/her to be a robotic equivalent of what was capable on those old TV shows. They want something that will foresee their problems and establish a repair without delay. I often thought it would be hilarious if the next time I'm confronted with someone who asks for one of those "machines" I would immediately go into a trance move like a dime store toy robot, and answer in a monotone voice, "Yes, I will proceed with your request without delay." Then grab their keys and glide through the shop door towards their car. Just to see what their reaction would be. You never know they might actually stand there and look at you as if you have just burnt out a logic circuits or something. For all I know, they might want to ship me back to the planet Zeptar before I pull out my anti-gravitational-interrupter. Cars and customers have been, and will always be, a tough part of the business. As the cars become more and more complex, the customer will always be the one common denominator in the equation. As we move further and further into the future the average novice driver will have even less and less knowledge of how their vehicle operates while the technician will steadily advance with the changing technology. I don't think there will be a robotic version of a technician any time in the near future, but you can bet the customer will be expecting an even quicker response and more detailed information about their vehicles condition. With the cost of repairs increasing, and the sophistication of the vehicles continually rising, there is no doubt the technicians of tomorrow will be in even greater demand than today. Maybe the next time a customer asks me about that "machine" I might just say, "Me Robot??"… maybe then they'll make the connection that scanners, computers, and wrenches all have a place in the tool box… because they're all only tools of the trade, but it's still the technician that makes it work. Even Star Trek had an on-board mechanic and I'm pretty sure "Scotty" wasn't a robot and I don't think he was from the planet Zeptar… he was a technician. As always, leave a comment if you'd like. Can always use a few good ideas for stories too. If you have an idea let me know... Thanx for reading my column, and thanx again for your comments. Gonzo View full article

renaissance man? that's a bit much.... automotive tech... absolutely. Electrical expert ... well.. I guess so. Author ... well I can't deny that. Convention speaker... HA... like anybody is listening.... and a darn good golfer... well that depends. It depends on if the renaissance man can get the automotive tech to electrically solve the problem while the author writes about it and the convention speaker can keep his yap shut long enought to make the putt. Let's have an ASO golf tournament sometime. I'll play.

I'll add one more thing to this story. The dealership will only repair these tops with a full replacement. Their cost 11,000.00 dollars (According to what Jim told me) Since I rebuilt the motors, reworked the ECM, and reshaped all the micro switches the only expense for the entire job in parts was... 14.25 ea for the elastic straps. (that's retail too) Unbelievable how a few repairs can make the day while the preferred method at the dealer is just replace everything. Crazy ain't it... ???

I charged plenty for this job. It was a long long drawn out repair. Like ya said, this is my profession. I may not build your motor...but all that electrical stuff around the motor is what I'm known for. Old Jim will be back, and I don't think I have to worry about him ever telling me I'm too expensive. He's one of those guys that knows what it takes to do this kind of work and isn't embarrased to pay for it. Glad ya like the story... once in awhile I put together a pretty good one... I think this is one of those... "good ones" Thanx for your comments Joe, always love to read them.

Thanks Frank, one thing I didn't mention is the elastic strap part of the closure procedure was NOT on the Operation diagnostics. The entire top sequence is listed by steps in the "Fully closed to fully open" operation tests, but it never mentioned the straps AT ALL... that took even more tracing and searching just to find out what that was all about. But, agian... thanks for your comments always appreciated. It's rather nice to write about customers that respect the tech enough to let them drain the swamp completely... regardless of the cost. (This was an expensive repair)

Drain the Swamp and Count the Alligators Occasionally the customer has more confidence in you than you do yourself. The old farmer tells his hired hand, "Get down there and drain that swamp today." The hired hand says, "Looks like there's a heap of alligators in there." "Don't ya never mind about them gators, you just get that swamp drained!" the old farmer explains. Some days I feel like the hired hand. I'll get a job in, and I already have the feeling there is going to be a whole heap of alligators between me and draining that swamp. This time around it's a 2004 Nissan 350z with a non-functioning convertible top. The top was up, but wouldn't move, other than unlatching the rear (5th bow) window section of the top. Jim is an old customer who loves his little Z car, and was well aware of a few of the alligators lurking under that deck lid. How did he know? Easy, he already tried to get it repaired at a convertible top shop, but they weren't up to the task of taking on this alligator infested swamp. Jim's only comment to me was, "I don't care how many problems you find, just get it working for me." After gathering all the TSB's, wiring diagrams, procedures, and any other bits of info I ventured out into untested waters to see what I could find out. All the test procedures started out by checking pin-out voltages and resistances at the convertible top ECM, and guess where that is?… under the very same deck lid that isn't moving… hmm, imagine that. The trunk is the only option. You've got to crawl in there and find the cables to release the deck lid manually. You could tell somebody else had already been working on it; the emergency cables were nowhere to be found. I looked like some sort of contortionist trying to get down into the small little opening at the bottom of the trunk with my bore scope. I had to wiggle it around in there, until I found the very thin wire cables that would release the latches. (They were pushed back under the lining of the storage area, which is not accessible from the trunk area) Ugh, I haven't even moved the top yet and I'm already swimming with the gators… what could be next? Once I got the deck lid up I could then remove the interior trim and test the ECM to see what needed to be done. The output voltage for the 5th bow actuator motor was coming out of the ECM, so unless the wires are broken or disconnected the motor must have failed. Ok, now crawl out of the storage area and wrestle my way into the passenger compartment, then pull the trim piece on the back window up to expose the 5th bow motor. The motor brushes were shot. Lucky for Jim, I just happened to have some brushes that were a perfect fit. Might as well replace the brushes and see if it will work. I gave it a try. With a flip of the control button the 5th bow swung up into perfect upright position, but the top wouldn't move. What now!?!? Back to the ECM and check the stop switches and motor voltages to the top. This time the alligator is in the ECM. Inside the ECM I found the circuit board lead to the top motors was burnt in two. Ok, fix the circuit board and try again. The top moved smoothly through its folding process. As the top closes the 5th bow actuator has to rotate in the opposite direction, so it will sit flush inside the convertible top storage compartment. As the bow moved to its next position the whole thing quit again. Oh come on… enough already… more alligators?!?! Yes, more alligators. Another trip back to the ECM, this time I found the stop switch for this position wasn't working. Somebody had bent the micro switches so far out of whack there was no way most of them were ever going to work. By now I've called Jim at least a dozen times to keep him informed of what I was up against… his only answer, "Keep draining the swamp" Ok, Ok, I got it… I'll put my waders on and crawl upside down and sideways to get this thing working… but…man these alligators… they're everywhere. If you counted the different movements from completely up to fully down there are 12 separate electrical/mechanical operations the top has to go through, AND they all have to work in the correct sequence. One micro switch out of position and something else begins to move at the wrong time. I thought I was done with my alligator counting by the time I had the last micro switch in place, but the first time I got the top to fold up and drop into the storage area, it would stop about an inch or so from completely going down. Seriously? More gators on the prowl? What did I miss this time? I went thru all the electrical and mechanical diagrams again… Nothing, every step was correct, but there had to be something missing. Then I found the answer on one page. One short reference to some elastic straps that connect the 2nd bow to the 3rd bow. These straps spring the 2nd bow towards the rear of the car to allow for clearance, so the canvas and all the linkage arms can drop that last inch or so into the storage compartment. I did some more searching and found the part number 97150-CE01B "strap, elastic, convertible top". I called the dealer and gave them the number… "Yea, it's a good number, but we've never sold any." I'm shocked. From what I found out lots of these convertible tops had the same problem. I figured they would have changed hundreds of these. It looks like it's a common alligator in this part of the swamp; seems to me every top should probably have these replaced with the new part number, (know somebody with one?… give them that part number). "Well, get me a set of them." Once the parts came to the shop, installing them was a piece of cake compared to everything else I had to do. At least now I could see the bottom of this swamp. No more alligators, no more swamp to drain… I'm done. I found 20 different problems in the top mechanisms and electrical components. That's a total of 20 alligators that were lurking in this swamp. What a job! It took a lot of effort to solve all the problems that I found. It didn't matter much to Jim how many things needed taken care of, the smile on his face as the 350z top worked like new made all that gator wrestling worthwhile. I almost gave up on it several times, but Jim insisted that I keep at it… I'm glad I did. So the next time I take on one of these gator infested jobs, I know exactly what I'm going to do. Ignore the difficulties, and do just like the old farmer told his hired hand to do. "Drain the swamp, and don't pay no mind to all those alligators". Writing my column is the fun part of my week, repairing cars is what I do for a living. On occasions the repairs can be very overwhelming. Difficult, time consuming or just plain seem impossible. Thanks to customers like Jim who have total faith in your abilites those impossible tasks turn into possible. View full article

Quite right... same here

I guess it would be no surprise that I ... like you Joe ... have seen these tatics before. The photos was a good idea. I occasionaly will do the same thing when it comes to one of those tough jobs. But, they way the dealer handle the problem is without a doubt... pure crooks with wrenchs. There's a stigma to being a Mercedes Benz "authorized" technician and that also means an EGO so large that they need a crane to hold their head up. If a car rolls into "most" dealerships and they KNOW it came from another repair shop... you can bet they'll find or create or flat out lie about the repairs. Not all of them are like that, I've got a great relationship with the local Dodge, Ford, Chevy, and several import dealers. It took years to get that way, and it was only accomplish by shear hard work. When it comes to the MBenz dealer... I don't have a lot of nice things to say to them or about them. Sorry... but attitude, ego, and professionalism should always be taken in consideration when buying or dealing with any dealer, repair shop...or independent shop. I probably would have been spitin' nuts and bolts after dealing with these clods. Well... ya riled me up Joe... guess it was your turn. LOL time for the meds.

wow... a lot of good comments for you. Here's my take on the whole thing. No#1 --- The evalution of the DIY'r has come to the point that it is only effective as parts swappers. Since a lot of parts swapping isn't as easy as unbolt and install (programming, tear down time...etc..) The next thing for most of them to do is buy cheap parts and have a shop install them. Keep in mind... the whole concept of DIY is to do it cheaper than it would be if you had a professional do it. With internet sources such as RockAuto.com and others getting parts cheaper (good parts too!) is getting a lot easier. No#2 --- What to do, or at least what I tend to do. I won't generally charge more labor. I feel that I'm already one step ahead of my competition because I at least have the job in the door... they don't. If I raise the labor I might actually be sending that work right back to my competition. But, I'll tell them about the warranty aspects of doing it this way. The conversation goes something like this; "Even though it may look like a good part, be a good part, and sound like a good part... I am NOT doing the job twice if this part fails without charging you a second time." I call it "Ropin' a steer" (this explanation works good in my area) "When I get that steer down, grab the rope, swing the rope around its legs ... throw my hands up... I'M DONE... call "TIME"!!!" and that's how I work their parts replacements. Once I put the last bolt in I'm done. If I diagnosed it correctly and performed my job correctly the only thing left is if that part does it's job. Hey, if it doesn't... it's a whole new ticket...and I'm going to collect a second labor charge for the same job I just did. Believe it or not.... that little statement almost always gets the customer to allow me to buy the part for them. Well there's my two cents... hope it helps.