Gonzo

Well, Jeff... ya beat me to it. But not by much. Dec. 8th/2017 my shop officially changes hands. Yep, I've sold out myself. Now, I'm teaching at a small technical college as well as doing all my usual writing. It's a bitter sweet time, but overall I'm so glad that I was able to sell the shop. Now, I can pursue new adventures in the automotive world. Good luck Jeff!

The Magical Elf There’s a Christmas tradition in our family involving a little magical elf. This elf lives in a box all year until December 1st. Then he magically comes to life. At night he gets into all kinds of mischief, and just before the little ones get up in the morning, he freezes motionless, wherever or whatever he was doing at that very moment. He’s been known to spill flour on the kitchen counters and make snow angels, sometimes he can be found sitting on the toothpaste tube, one night he even wrapped the big screen TV like a huge present with a large bow on top! He could be anywhere, you just never know what he’ll be into next, and he seems to stay busy getting into things all night long. But, even when he is motionless he’s actually working… watching and listening to all the children in the house. His job is to report back to the north pole so Santa can be sure to have every little boy and girl is on the right list. You know, that “Naughty or Nice list” you've heard about. Yep, now you know, Santa has his own spies, and that little elf doesn’t miss a thing. My oldest daughter Katie, is continuing the tradition with her own magical elf with her kids. Let me introduce you to my three adorable granddaughters; Kelsie is 12, she’s the nonbeliever. She doesn’t think Santa is real at all… that’s kid stuff… she’s all grown up, you know. Kaitlyn is 9, she’s the talker… even if she’s a part of whatever trouble has been brewing up, she can't help but to spill the beans sooner or later. She’s still a big fan of the guy in the big red suit. Now, ask her if he brings presents she'll tell you, "Only one, but the rest are from mom and dad." Then there's little Audrey, she’s 6. Now Audrey…well, she and Santa go way back. (Too cute for words the way she tells her stories about Santa.) She’s all about decorating the tree, and making sure the milk and cookies are set out in perfect arrangement for Santa on his big day, and of course writing letters to the big guy as often as possible. With these little munchkins, you can count on one thing for sure, there’s always something about to unfold at the house, especially around the holidays. This story is a special one, this is about the first year for Katie's magical elf. As the grand-kids will later tell me, "Pappa, he came in his own little elf box, all decorated like a little house and everything!" There are even holes on the sides for him to breathe, cause ya know, ya gotta keep him comfortable and all. The house rules about the magic elf are simple. No one is allowed near the box, no touching, no looking, no poking, and most certainly no encouraging your sister into breaking the rules. (Gotta have that rule) So on the shelf this little house sat… waiting for the right time to make his entrance. All the kids understood the rules, and they all knew the story of the magical elf. The big fear of course wasn't mom, it was that little elf, and what he would say to Santa. Well, except of course for the nonbeliever. It was December 1st, and Katie was so busy preoccupied with putting up decorations she had completely forgotten about the little elf. She had to get him out of the box and into his mischief as soon as possible. Time for a plan, a plan that would distract those little all seeing, all knowing, and all hearing little ones long enough for her to accomplish her mission. She had an idea that just might work. Get the younger two interested in decorating cookies while nonbeliever was upstairs in her room. Then, she could pop the little guy out of his box and put him somewhere for the girls to discover later. The smell of fresh baked cookies filled the house as the two younger ones raced to the kitchen to help with the decorating. The elf "de-boxing" was well on its way. Katie crept out of the kitchen unnoticed while the two were busy adding sprinkles to everything and anything that was on or near the cookies. A quick peak up the stairs to make sure the non-believer was out of sight, OK good there. Time for the little elf to get out of his resting place. As she carefully opened the box she could hear tiny footsteps coming down the hallway. The rush was on, Mom can’t be caught with the box opened, there was no turning back now. Oh no.... what’s this???? The new little elf is wire tied into his little house!!! Quick, quick, untie him and get him out of there! The footsteps grew closer as the last wire tie came loose, then with a quick fling the elf went sailing through the air and landed in the branches of the Christmas tree. His head was buried amongst all the lights and ornaments with only his butt and legs exposed… undignified yes, but no harm, no foul… the game was on. Just as the tattle-teller (Kaitlyn) rounded the corner Katie put her mom face on. You know, that typical motherly look we all know from being on the other end of the situation. Then, using her best “mom” voice she tilted the elf's little box down to show her the empty box and said, “Kaitlyn have you been in this box? Where is the elf?” (Now that's some mom quick thinking) Kaitlyn was completely surprised, “No Mommy, I know I'm not supposed to touch it. It wasn’t me… honest…ah, ah, it was… ah, Audrey.” Of course by now, that mom voice brought the youngest one running into the room carrying a half-eaten cookie while leaving a long trail of sprinkles behind her. “Where’s the elf mommy?” she asked. Katie with that stern look still on her face said to her, “Did you open the box?” Audrey, now almost in tears thinking the little elf must have ran away, “No Mommy, where did he go?” Katie wasn’t about to let up on the Mommy thing just yet, but decided to soften the blow of their now missing elf and assure them it was perfectly alright. She said, “Well, it is December 1st, he's probably somewhere in the house.” About then the nonbeliever came down from her bedroom, “What’s going on?” Kaitlyn quickly told everything (as usual), “He got out, he’s in the house, and we’ve got to go find him! Come on, let’s go!” Now Kelsie, who didn’t seem so interested, is now very interested. But, she was going to logically explain the whole thing, even though she didn't believe in all of this "magic elf" stuff she knew mom had know idea either. You know, since mom and Kelsie are both older and more more mature, mom couldn't hide anything from her. With firm conviction, Kelsie said to them, “There’s no way he could have gotten out. He was strapped in there!” (That little sneak peeker!!) Clearly she had more interest in that little elf than she let on. Kelsie, being the oldest, took charge of the situation and told the other two, “You look over there, you go over there, and I’ll look over here.” Off went the three of them, running through the house in search of one small magical elf, while mom stood by the tree still clutching the empty box. They eventually found him and screamed with joy like the little girls they are. As for Kelsie, well, the non believer, she knew mom is really Santa after all, (the hand writing on the present tags and the way the packages are wrapped are exactly like her birthday presents and Santa doesn't bring birthday presents… sorry mom, she’s figured it out.). But, anything to do with that magic elf, just ask her, "Oh he’s real grandpa… he’s very real." There’s no doubt in my mind the magic of the season is for the kid in all of us, and sometimes all it takes is a little mischievous elf to bring out. Wishing you and your family (and your little magical elves) a Very Merry Christmas. View full article

Where’s That Machine? Even in this age of electronic gadgets, voice recognition systems, and cell phones, there are still a few things that require the dexterity of a human being. For some skilled and unskilled jobs the physical work or mental intuitiveness hasn’t been entirely replaced by machines, microprocessors and LED’s, just yet. Automotive diagnostics and repair is one of those fields. The modern mechanic is still very much a part of the repair equation. But, go to any repair shop in this country, and you’ll probably hear somebody at the service counter ask the service writer, “You guys do have one of those machines that tells you what’s wrong, don’t ya?” Yeah, we have one of those machines. It’s that guy in the service bay leaning over your car right now. You know, the mechanic. Oh, you know who they are. They’re usually the guy you spot in the elevator or at the supermarket who has more than a few grease spots on his clothes, scuffed up shoes, a pocket screwdriver, rough calloused hands, and wearing a shirt with his own name on it. He’s generally not a college graduate, probably doesn’t know the difference between Harvard and Yale, and probably doesn’t care either, but intelligent just the same. Yes, a machine all right. A walking, talking, hardworking, diagnostic and mechanically inclined individual who uses tools and equipment to solve your car problems. Look how the tools of the modern mechanic have changed over the years, such as scanners and meters. They are an aide, a machine, a tool if you will, but they don’t give out answers. Although, these tools can do so much in the way of diagnosing a problem in the hands of an expert mechanic. They show the technician a code or information in regards to the internal aspects of the vehicle. Code numbers and definitions are a strategic direction for the repair. This allows a trained technician to know which pathway to take in making the repair. To put it in other words: the real machine that finds out what’s wrong with your car is those two hands and brain of the very guy with his name imprinted on his shirt. Not some box of transistors and relays, but people still ask about and believe there is this magical mystery machine that does all the work. The automotive field isn’t what those reality TV shows portray it to be, either. Most of these shows highlight the automotive industry as a place for stupid, filthy, disorganized-knuckle dragging fools who can’t read or write, and wouldn't know a dentist office if they stumbled in one. It’s just one more reason why it’s so hard to find sharp, young talent to take up the trade. Car technology changes so fast these knuckle draggers can’t keep up with the true professional mechanic field and what goes on in a real repair facility, but for some reason somebody at these networks think reality shows of guys taking old non-computerized cars apart is what we want to watch on television. I for one would rather watch something useful like reflashing a GM than what it takes to weld in a new quarter panel. You want to get the next generation interested in the field…show em’ something of interest in the way of a modern computer driven vehicle. The vast number of computer systems, hydraulics, electrical, radar/navigation systems and mechanical aspects of the modern car are constantly changing. This means continual education is a must for the professional mechanic. A modern mechanic is more like a surgeon than a brick layer is to one. Even though both are considered laborer trades, one is more artistic in nature while the other is more technology driven. For some people, the mere thought that somebody out there knows more about their car than they do is quite disturbing to them. They seem to think they are far more intelligent than the engineers, designers, and the mechanics combined. In their interpretation of the automotive repair world, the mechanic has to be an idiot to even think they can make a living fixing this stuff when it’s just as easy to fix it yourself at home in the garage. I’ve been told more than once by an irate customer that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to fix a car, so it shouldn’t cost that much. So, why would these types of people even want to talk with this guy who has his name tattooed on his shirt? Why not bypass him altogether and go right to the mechanized technical wonder they can’t seem to find at the local part store. You know, that machine. That thing-a-mabob that tells those dimwitted Neanderthal mechanics what part to change and how to make their car all better. As far as they are concerned, diagnostics are not needed, because following a path laid out in a diagnostic chart isn’t a skill that’s required when making a repair. Just read the results on the scanner, order the part, stick it on, and then get back to their own lives with as little interruption as possible. All they want to pay for is what they consider the main reason for going to the mechanic in the first place. You know, let them get greasy, change some widget and make their car run like new without costing them a fortune, and if it doesn’t… blame the mechanic, and not that dime store diagnostic machine they relied on. Where the idea of a machine that can answer every type of automotive problem by simply plugging it into the car is beyond me. I suppose, some of it comes from growing up with the TV and watching sci-fi shows, but reality doesn’t come across as real with a portion of the driving public. They’re still stuck with the notion that Mr. Spock will break out his Tri-corder and inform them about the composition of material making up their engine block, and the exact cause of their engine misfire. Seriously people, get a grip on reality. The idea that this perfect machine actually exists is simply absurd, but the mystery of it all still lingers in the minds of those tried and true believers of all this technical wizardry of which they don’t understand. In their minds that “machine” is real, and any mechanic that doesn’t know about one is a fool. In the near future, even this mythical, magical machine may actually be more fiction than myth. Telematics and remote diagnostics may make the vision of a “one machine can fix-all” far more real than we can imagine. Not that I believe there really will be a “fix-all” machine capable of re-gapping a worn out spark plug, but I do believe a lot of systems will be diagnosed, and possibly electronically repaired by remote intervention. Although, those tough diagnostics that can’t be sorted out will still require the skill of a good diagnostic mechanic to accomplish them. Maintenance and wearable item repairs will most likely be the commonplace activities at a repair shop in the future. Needless to say, the days of a home mechanic with a set of tools picked up at a garage sale may soon be a thing of the past or left up to the hobbyist working on antique vehicles. The modern technically advanced vehicle of the future may become too far advanced for anyone except for the skilled mechanic. We may be in a technically advanced computer age, and there’s no doubt there are further advancements to be made, but the trained mechanic is still a big part of the future. So, the next time someone asks, “Where’s that machine?” tell them it’s where it’s always been, in the service bay, and you’ve been talking to it all this time… your mechanic. View full article

Two turkeys sitting on a fence. They look up and see a jet zipping by with it's after-burners on. The one turkey says to the other, "I'd fly that fast too, if my ass was on fire." HAPPY THANKSGIVING ! ! !

Define luxury, it seems to me, each decade the luxury level changed. Take power windows, that was luxury in the 70's. . . Now it's the norm

BTW, the wooden car... it's one of the many models I have built over the years. Built from scratch too.

Car and Driver The technical changes most everyone is familiar with have more to do with emissions or performance issues. But, let’s step back a bit and look at the whole thing from the occupant’s vantage point. You know, what changes has the driver had to endure? When the horse and buggy were still rulers of the open road, cars were just a tinkerers dream. Actually those open roads were more like uneven ditches with wagon wheel ruts, but a road none the less. The first cars had to adapt to those rutted roads and of course, and the driver had take his fair share of bumps and bruises just to prove his new horseless carriage was up to the task. It wasn’t long before a confrontation between the staunch horse and buggy drivers and the scarf wearing, goggle protected new-fangled automobile occupants came to a cross road. Laws were enacted that a man had to walk at least 50 paces in front of the car holding a raised red flag to warn fellow travelers (mainly the horses) to be aware of this metal contraption belching noxious fumes while sputtering along at the amazing speed of 7 mph. Later, it was the horse and buggies turn to have a red flag warning assistant in front of them as the roles of were reversed. Before long, a horn was mounted to the side of the car creating this obnoxious sound that not only scared the remaining horses but annoyed every passerby as well. The model T has always been considered the father of the new age of automobiles. But, there were a lot of improvements other than the assembly line that came along around the same time period. Later, enclosed cabs were added into the latest designs with retractable windows and a hard top. Heating systems were incorporated along with other creature comforts. All of these changes made the ride that much more enjoyable, and of course, sold a lot more cars. Eventually the pedals of the model T were replaced with the standard three pedal design, which made operating the car a bit more “driver-friendly”. Changing gears was made easier with a shift lever instead mashing down the pedal for low and up for high as in the model T. Cold starting a car was still an issue, but instead of getting out of the car and raising the hood, a lever on the dash could be pulled out for cold starts and in when the engine warmed up. The electric “automatic” choke followed years later which meant one less chore the driver had to accomplish. Hand starting your car was the norm. Even with careful instructions there was still the potential of a few wrench elbows and a couple of broken bones from simply trying to get the car started for that weekend jaunt around the country side. An electric starter was the answer. Now all the driver had to do was mash a pedal on the floor to accomplish the same task. When the automatic transmission made its debut a person’s strength or ability to shift correctly wasn’t important in operating a vehicle. The car was becoming even more user friendly. The huge steering wheels could now be replaced with a much smaller version incorporated with power steering. Brakes, wipers, suspension, steering, lighting, heating, and air conditioning improvements meant less effort and far less exertion on the driver’s part to control the vehicle while being enclosed in their very own micro climate controlled environment. The car was becoming what some said in the 50’s as ‘futuristic’. True, yes… but Oh, if they only knew what was coming off those assembly lines just a few decades later. Thoughts changed to emission controls and safety issues during the 60’s and 70’s. Speed limits, bumper heights, seat belts, safety glass, were required from all the manufacturers. Those creature comforts were not forgotten about either. Smoother rides, better tires, and lush interiors were on the minds of every manufacturer. But, it was only the beginning of things to come. We’ve zoomed through the jet set age, moon landings, and the smog, to come face to face with the electronic age or what some would call the computer age. Cars aren’t wired together with bulky switches, relays, and mechanical linkages anymore, most everything is data signals, sensors and plastic. Not only is the modern car a rolling computer controlling all aspects of the emissions and passenger comfort it is also can be seen, controlled, and monitored by outside sources. Let’s face it, the days of you holding your hand out of the window to signal or move that seldom used device on the side of the steering column to tell other drivers of your intentions of a right turn may be entirely left up to a computer and not yourself. The car will soon talk to the other cars on the road and they’ll all know what your destination is, and the route you’re taking. All you need to do is tell the car to ‘Go’. In the near future, the only requirement to “drive” a car is to be able to push ‘enter’. Traffic lights, R&R crossings, and highway congestion can all be controlled by a system of checks and balances. You won’t need to know how to shift the transmission, how to use a road map, decide which wiper speed to use, signal for a turn, judge when the high beams need to be dimmed, or control your traveling speed. You won’t have to do a thing except to be patient and wait in the comfort of your car while you arrive at your destination safe and sound. When that day comes, you won’t need a steering wheel, pedals, or even a horn. Today’s standard safety features such as air bags, have saved countless lives, but it’s possible that a new and far more advanced crash avoidance system may even make the air bag system as obsolete as the guy with the red flag. Multiple position seating with heat, massage, and air conditioning, automatic tinted windows, premium sound systems, navigation, active cruise control, parking assist, touch screen commands, voice recognition, and an endless variety of other creature comforts are available. Honestly, some of these creature comforts are far better than what I have at home! But, it’s our car, our transportation, something we spend several hours in and of course, we want it to be just the way we like it. It’s no wonder you hear that today’s generation can’t drive a stick shift, or how they’ve never heard of “three on the tree”, let alone understand the three pedals on a model T. Those technologies are from a different time, a different era, and are not part of the modern world. In fact, most new cars don’t even have a shifter of any sort. Everything is done by the push of a button. Talk about occupant evolution! What do you think the next generation of drivers are ‘not’ going to need to know that you need to know today? It’s very possible that an ignition key will only be found in a museum, and I’ll bet they probably won’t understand what a door key was used for. Soon, those automatous cars won’t be something we’ve heard about, but will be the average-everyday car on the road. Now, the only reason to have a guy holding a red flag is to keep the crowd back from the cars on display at the weekend car show. But, through all the evolutionary changes for the car and driver, one thing has remained a constant. The seldom appreciated, hardly thanked, and least likely to be respected by the hustling-bustling-fast paced money-chasing drivers of these new-fangled contraptions… the person we couldn’t do without… the mechanic. As long as they make some form of transportation, and continually make it more complicated the more we need the educated and highly skilled technician to keep things in tip top shape. Today’s average driver knows far less about their cars than the previous generation. Although the mechanic needs to know quite a bit more than their predecessors. Before a driver was responsible for nearly every function of the car, but those functions have been passed onto computer signals. The responsibility of keeping those computer signals flowing has fallen onto the mechanic. So, if you like all of your cars bells and whistles, thank a design engineer. If you’d like to keep all those bells and whistles working…thank a mechanic. There may not be a ‘driver’ for every car in the future, unfortunately, they’ve been evolved out of the picture. But, you can be sure one thing… there will still be a need for a mechanic. View full article

Haven't missed Vision for over 15 years. I'll be there.

thank you for all your comments. Sarge, like many of our customers, became more than a customer. Over the years we shared a lot of laughs , stories of our families, our time in service, and life in general with each other. To this day I can still hear his drill instructor growl that he would blare out as he would come into my shop with his TEN HUT greeting. Old Sarge, well, in the big world, he's just another face in the crowd. But, to me he's a king, and I'd like to think my little story about him will live on in his memory for years to come. I'm sure he'd be proud of it. Because people like Sarge are not just a veteran, they're our friends, neighbors, brothers, sisters, fathers, and mothers. But most of all they're people that took an oath to uphold the values of this great country with their very own life if needed. That's what makes them stand out in a crowd and king in my book. Never forget a Vet!

Old Sarge I met this great man through his son, who happened to be the driver of that Chevy van from the furniture store that was my very first customer. Sarge isn’t his real name, but that’s what I called him. He was a retired Marine Corps cook. I met him one day when he came in with a sick Cadillac. The old Cadillac hardly had any power at all; just as slow and lazy as a snail. I was only in business for a few months, and didn’t know anybody. I didn’t have any work to speak of, so even though it wasn’t an electrical problem (as he originally thought), I jumped right in and found the problem. It was a clogged catalytic converter. Unbelievably, it wasn’t even welded in place. I could take off the clamps, and remove it without much hassle. Back then I didn’t have a lift to put the car in the air, so I had to do the whole job on the ground. Well, old Sarge just sat there and watched me do the whole thing. I think he was a little suspicious of this skinny little white kid who was hacking away at his car, but he patiently waited, being the good man he was. We got to talking about things, and it wasn’t long before he found out that I was also in Marine Corps. Now we had some common ground. We were buds for life, always cutting up with each other. One hot August afternoon Sarge brought in one of his other cars to get some work done. I had the back door to the shop open, and Sarge steps outside for a little fresh air. I thought I could hear the guy crying or mumbling something, couldn’t tell which it was. I stuck my head around the corner, “Sarge, ah …. you ok, buddy?” I asked. He proceeded to tell me how the house he grew up in was close by, before it became a shopping center. He talked about his dad and family, and how he hunted rabbits right where we were standing. It was during the Depression. Hard times, and things were scarce in those days. How his dad hid a pig in a pit, not too far from here. Where they kept the corn mash for making moon shine. I sat and listened to this hardened Marine tell me his life’s story that day, from his first car to how he ended up in the Corps. I didn’t answer the phone, or go up front to see if anyone came in. I just sat out there in that August heat, drenched in sweat, listening to this fella tell me his life story. I’ll never forget that afternoon. I’ll also never forget how every time he came to my shop over the next 25 years he would sneak up on me, and yell in a drill instructor voice, “TEN HUT!” I would snap to attention just like a good Marine should. Sometimes, just to get a rise out of Sarge I would purposely hit my head on the hood of the car I was working on. He got a kick out of it every time. Sarge passed away a couple years back. I still think about him now and then. I hope he’s up there hunting rabbits, or something. Maybe he’s guarding the gates like every Marine hopes to be doing when their time comes. Or, he could be just waiting there to try and surprise me with one more “TEN HUT” when I show up. Sarge, I miss having you around the shop. Semper Fi View full article

Yep, at least he paid for the job. LOL. Unlike some of the BMW/MBenz folks that call and won't spend a penny on diag. time. NOW, those guys really waste my time. I've got better things to do than to explain diag. fees to someone who has no intention of ever spending any cash on a car they can't afford to drive ... let alone repair. Where's that sand and beach at!?

One Penny at a Time One year I thought I’d try something to drum up some new business. I’ll try a cash discount for large jobs. Maybe this will bring in those new customers. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but as they say, “The best laid plans of mice and men….” certainly got involved on this little adventure. The cash discount was going to run for a month, just to see if it was going to work. All expectations looked promising. Jobs from a few weeks earlier had been contacted and informed of the new promotion to see if they’d like to reschedule that big job they were putting off. Almost all of them set an appointment before the promotion deadline. Soon, the shop was bustling with new activity and jobs were getting stacked up waiting for an open service bay. Unfortunately, as usual, there’s always one sourpuss who has to ruin all the fun for everyone else. Mr. Gripey came to the shop for an engine swap. He was your typical bargain hunter/never going to be a regular/always had a complaint type customer. As he put it, “I’m going to be your number 1 customer, if you can get me done on time.” I assured Mr. Gripey that everyone is our number 1 customer here and we would do everything we could to get him done, within reason, in a timely manner. It was just another Ford Ranger V6 engine swap. Nothing different from any other V6 Ranger we’ve done. That is except for Mr. Gripey, of course. His periodic snooping and interrogating questioning of the mechanic (and his mentor) about the job was relentless. It never fails, you get a snoopy-arrogant person barging in on the work the outcome is the same. It spells d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r every time something like this happens. I was prepared for the inevitable and personally took on the job of double checking every part, every fastener, and every existing blemish on the vehicle just to be sure there was nothing Mr. Gripey could question once the job was completed. The engine slipped back in place without a hitch, and every nut and bolt was torqued down to specs. Everything was going as planned, except for one small detail. The promised date of delivery. Because of the work load and the arrival of the replacement engine, we missed his scheduled time of departure from the service bay by one whole day. This was all the fodder Mr. Gripey needed to begin his wrath of expletives and insults as to how awful we’ve made the entire experience. Was I surprised? No, not at all. Now he wanted an even bigger discount than what the promotion had offered. I offered my condolences and gave a bit more off the top of the cost of the job. That wasn’t good enough. He wanted it for free now. Of course, that’s not going to happen. Now, he has decided to refuse to pay for the job. Several days passed between unanswered phone calls and messages left for Mr. Gripey to return for his vehicle. The daily reconnoitering of the service bay when his truck was being serviced came to an end too. The mechanic and his apprentice mentor were relieved to move onto the next project. Me, I was still stuck with the task of collecting the balance on the job. Which, is usually a rather pleasant experience filled with smiles and thank yous followed by a check, credit card, or cash. But, not this time. A week has gone by and Mr. Gripey hasn’t made an entrance yet. Time for one more phone call, but this time with a little added incentive. Mr. Gripey is going to be informed about storage charges for keeping his little pickup behind locked doors and that the charges would keep adding up until he showed up. He was given a grace period until the end of the week, and if we didn’t hear from him by then… the storage charges would start from the day of this phone call. It’s no surprise, Mr. Gripey managed to show up at the shop that very afternoon. “I’m here to pay my bill and get my truck out of your $&^#*!!! shop,” he said, in a very disgruntled manner. I gave him the total and said, “That’ll be cash, sir.” I wasn’t about to give this guy a chance to walk out with the keys with anything less than a paid in full with good ol' “American currency” and a completed repair singed off. Mr. Gripey turned around and went out to his car and returned with three large bank bags. He tossed the bags onto the counter and said, “Here ya go. Count it if you feel like it.” The bags were full of good old American currency alright, all of it … … … entirely pennies. “I’ll take my truck now. If you don’t mind,” Mr. Gripey said. I looked at the pile of coins starting to pour slowly out of the split open bag and looked back up at Mr. Gripey, “Uhm, sir, this is legal tender alright, but this is no way to pay your bill. But, in your case I’ll accept the payment only after it has been fully counted,” I said to him, trying to stare down his angry gaze, “So, just have a seat and I’ll get this counted and when it has been counted I’ll gladly hand the keys over to you.” Mr. Gripey hadn’t planned his little caper out as well as he had thought. He thought I was just going to hand the keys over and I’d be stuck with several hours of counting pennies while he was long gone with a smirk on his face thinking he just pulled a fast one on a repair shop. The fact is, he wasn't getting the keys until I had every last penny was counted. With some help from the crew, we sat in the front office counting each and every penny one after another. And no, I wasn’t about to give the guy the satisfaction of taking the bags to the bank and have them counted. I wanted him to sit there waiting the hours it took to have it all hand counted. It was by far the best bonding time I had with the crew. As we counted we talked about jobs in the shop, what was coming up next, tools, where we wanted to be in the next few years, our families, kids, and pastimes. Indirectly, Mr. Gripey did us all a huge favor by allowing us all to have a few hours of time together away from the wrenches. We kept at it until we finished and never once did we remain quiet or stop for breaks. By the time the last penny was counted we were all tired of stacking pennies. We could finally get up from our chore and get Mr. Gripey out the door with his truck and warranty paper work. His warranty has expired a long time ago and if it was no surprise, he never did come back for even an oil change. I’ve been paid with all kinds of things over the years. From a stack of Susan B Anthony coins to a case of beer. But, this was the first time anyone paid for an entire job with sacks full of pennies. Just for the record, if there is a next time… I’m not counting all those pennies again. I’ll let the bank to do it and make the guy come back the next day. Just don’t tell Mr. Gripey that. He still may need another lesson or two on how to act civil at a repair shop. Even if it is one penny at a time. View full article

Welcome! Great place to get an idea of how the business of fixing cars really works in the real world. Good luck with your body shop... all the best!

This guys wife is having an affair when her young son comes home early. The boy hides out in the closet to catch what was going on, when the husband arrives home early too. The would be affair is halted and the lover hides out in the same closet as the boy. The boy says, "Hey, it's dark in here." The lover answers, "Yep" The boy replies, "I got a baseball, I'll sell to you. That way I won't say a thing to my daddy." The lover says, "How much?" The young lad says to the lover, "250 bucks" The lover pays the kid and when the coast is clear he sneaks out of the house. A week later the same thing happens. The boy says, "Hey, it's dark in here. I've got a baseball mitt for sale now." The lover reluctantly asks, "How much this time?" The boy says, "750 bucks." Again the lover waits for the coast to clear and makes his escape. Another week goes by and good old dad asks the son if he'd like to go play catch. The son tells him he sold his ball and glove for a 1000 bucks. Dad, being a bit of a prude, tells the boy that he needs to go straight to confession because that was way to much to sell his old ball and mitt for. The boy heads to the confessional, he steps inside and says, "Hey, it's dark in here." the voice from the other side says, "NOW Don't start that crap AGAIN!"

I think I can safely summarize a bit of first hand knowledge to all of this, since I'm seeing the industry from two different ends these days. Meaning, I'm still a shop owner but also a teacher these days, as well as a technical manual writer and a contributing editor, so I may have an insight on to what it is about these new techs or the lack of solid techs showing up looking for work. First off, it's the industries previous connotations. Let's face it, way back when mechanics were simply grease gods in jump suits, dirt floor barns and a greasy rag hanging out of their back pockets. We all know that's NOT the mechanic world of today, but for some reason that stigma follows us all. Secondly, the caliber of people coming into the trade at the technical schools is varied. Some are there because of a GI bill paid tuition, others are there because somebody felt sorry for them and is paying their school fees either to avoid jail time or to avoid the wrath of their parents for not finding a decent job or career to get started in. But, a few are there on their own dollar and are more than willing to grind it out and learn this trade. Third, the pay, the investment and the shop environment. You're not much of a technician if you don't have the right tools, even if you do have some background in the inner workings of the modern car. The initial investment can be minimized by not buying the latest and greatest, however, if the pay isn't up to par with the skill sets needed I'd find it hard for anyone to stay at the trade ... starting from the bottom and working up. A good tech is worth his weight, a newbee ...well... if you've got the time to wait for one to become an awesome tech, that's fantastic... now pay him what he is worth, before another shop strikes a deal with him. Obviously, the shop environment has to go along with the skill, the tools, the knowledge, the clients, and the rest of the shop helps attitude, not to mention the pay. In a nut shell, those are the three things I believe leads to the shortage of good techs. Some will have a difference of opinion, but that's what I see these days looking at it from different angles.

An old story ... but a goody. Let's see who remembers this one. LOL

Looking for Some Guy Have ya ever noticed that a lot of work shows up at the shop with some sort of story attached and the customer almost always knows who sent them to you or what the last tech has done to their car? It’s pretty common at my shop. This other mechanic seems to always be busy, sometimes too busy to finish the customer’s job completely. I don’t know who this dude is but, he gets all the work in town. I’ve never met this wrench jockey; I don’t even know where his shop is… in fact I don’t even know what he charges or what his expertise is. But, I do know his name… oh yea, I know his name, his reputation is well known, and his never ending automotive repair skills are known far and wide. Who is this genius of the auto repair world? You know him, he’s that “regular mechanic” you always hear about. I don’t know whether he is some super tech out there or just the best salesman in the business. What’s his name you ask, well; it’s none other than…“Sum Guy”. that’s the dude, that’s him… his name comes up in conversations all the time… something like this; “I had my car to Sum Guy the other day… he said my problem was this, and said you would know how to fix it.” Or when you ask, “Where did you have your car at ma’am?” and the usual answer ... “Oh, I had it at Sum Guy for a while till he gave up and said he couldn’t take care of it, I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.” And, of course my all time favorite… “Sum Guy already looked at it so I already know what’s wrong.” Now I don’t know about you but Sum Guy seems to get around a lot. One of these days I’d like to meet him. I’ve got a few words for him for sure. He either works the customer into an all out frenzy or they come into the shop with a chip on their shoulder as if they just cured cancer. Ya never know which way it’s going to go with Sum Guy around. He can be your friend or he can be your enemy it’s all a gamble at this point. Listening in on conversations at the front counter and sooner or later good ol’ Sum Guy will get his name mentioned. “I had Sum Guy change my brakes last week but he didn’t want to mess with the ABS system.” “The other day my wife and I were out in town when we ran across Sum Guy, he said he knew you.” Man, this dude gets around, how do ya keep up with him? He’s everywhere! I’m going to put an ad in the paper one of these days… it should say something like; “Looking for Sum Guy who can fix cars and impress customers more than I can. Sum Guy who has all the correct tools and diagnostic equipment that I don’t have. Sum Guy with the smarts of a rocket scientist and the strength of a gorilla. Sum Guy who can be in two places at once and never-ever makes a mistake. Sum Guy that can keep a customer happy even in the worst of conditions and knows just what to say to calm them down. And, most of all Sum Guy who can do all of this and still show up to work on time. I doubt he’ll answer the ad, I think he doesn’t want the rest of the automotive industry to know about him. I think he likes to stay in the shadows away from the lime light and keep in close touch with all his customers. He’s a credit to himself… that guy… he’s Some Guy… View full article

I Just Don’t Get It Help me out here. There’s something I just don’t get. How in the world do people leave their pride and joy, the family truckster, the old jalopy, or whatever they want to call it at a repair shop for an extended amount of time? Every day while driving to work I’ll pass numerous little shops, and a few big shops that seem to have the same cars sitting in front of their bays. They move them around a bit, you know, kind of like shuffling chess pieces or something, but they never seem to leave. What’s going on? Then, every once in a while I’ll get someone that comes into my shop with this same old story, “I had my car over at this other shop for the past month and they still haven’t found out what’s wrong with it. So, I got tired of waiting and had it dragged over to you.” Usually after they’ve finally decided that leaving their car at one of these phantom repair places wasn’t a good idea. Sound familiar? Well, if you’re a shop owner you’ve heard it before. What’s surprising is that it happens a lot more than most people realize, and what really surprises me is how somebody could be without their car for such a long time, then finally decide to pull it to another shop. I mean seriously, what did you buy the car for? Was your goal just to make the payments while it sat in front of this obscure repair shop rusting away? I just don’t get it. How’s this possible? I mean, does this shop have some sort of charismatic charm that convinces someone to leave their car there for months on end without ever getting it repaired? Or is it one of those, “I’m in no hurry. Take your time with it.” stories? For me, it seems every time somebody tells me they’re not in a hurry is when they call back in an hour or show up the next day wanting to know what I’ve found wrong. I’ve never dealt with anyone who has just left their car for me to casually work on it whenever I feel like working on it. Oh, they’ll tell me to take my time but, they really don’t mean it. I have the time. I’m in the business of repairing cars. I’ll make the time or I’ll hire more help, whichever or whatever way it takes to keep the customer happy. At my shop, the norm is that everyone is in a hurry and can’t wait even a few hours for me to get to their repairs, which seems to be the complete opposite at these main street rest stops that call themselves “repair shops”. Now, if all these shops are doing is providing a free space for an extended stay at the “Shady Rust Hotel”, well, that’s not what I’d call a really smart business decision. Maybe keeping the parking lot full is just their way of showing off how many cars they have to work on, or should I say… trying to work on? I’ve often wondered about the true status of those cars at these repair shops. I’m pretty convinced that it’s not because these stationary cars all have some sort of exotic part that has to be shipped in by a row boat from some far off island country. I really think the reason these cars are spending their day taking up valuable space in front of these shops is because the mechanics at these shops don’t have a clue how to fix them. Let’s face it, if they’re in the business to repair problems on customer’s cars (just like I am) then by all rights fix it! Make room for the next one! As one good ol’ boy mechanic from one of these “We’re always busy” shops stated to me the other day, “Well, I just keep trying different parts until I get’r runnin’. If’n I run out of idears I let er’ sit until I think of somethin’ else ta do. I’m only bringin’ ya this here car cause the owner was getting a bit riled up over it takin’ so long.” Seems like a poor way of diagnosing problems and even poorer way of taking care of their customers if you ask me. But, we should also look at it from the other side of the coin, the customer side that is. They’re just as much to blame for all this waiting around for a repair that probably ain’t going to happen. Obviously it’s not time that worries them, so it must be the cost factor they’re concerned about. Talking with one customer who had their car at another shop for so long that cobwebs had spread across the motor told me, “Well, he’s good and cheap. That’s why I left it there for him to give it a try.” I can believe the cheap part, but good... I don’t think so. When are they going to wise up about it all? That is, the shop that doesn’t have the skills to repair the car properly and uses whatever charm or magic they have over the customer to leave the car at their shop for so long. Along with the car owners who simply pinch pennies on their car repairs and aren’t concerned with quality. But, they’re willing to put their own kids in their family truckster that was repaired by somebody with questionable knowledge and skills. This car repair stuff isn’t some kind of kid’s game or something that should be left to chance. It’s a highly skilled trade with highly skilled individuals who dedicate their life to performing intricate diagnostics and repairs to their customer’s cars with sophisticated equipment and continual education on the latest systems being developed. Of course, I’m leaving out those parking lots that claim to be repair shops. For something that has evolved into a computerized and mechanical machine that is rarely understood by the average owner, and something that nearly every person owns, has been left to the whims of an unregulated and unlicensed repair industry. It just completely boggles my mechanical mind. It’s a wonder anything ever gets accomplished, or that good mechanics stay in the business and further their education to do even higher quality work than before. I mean seriously, you’ve got to have a license to sling plumbing pipe or cut hair, but hardly any kind of quality check for the person doing the repairs on your family jalopy that zooms down the road at 75mph. I just don’t get it. View full article