Gonzo

What Ya Know It’s rather hard for me to remember a time when I didn’t know a whole lot about cars. Of course, there certainly was… had to be. It’s not like I was born with a wrench and a test light in each hand. Like a lot of mechanics who started long before me, most everything you know about this job was from experience and handed down knowledge from the older generations of techs. There weren’t a lot tech schools back then, so it really was OJT for the most part. You started as a kid pumping gas at the local gas station, and hung around under the lifts watching what the mechanics were doing. Eventually one of them would hand you a wrench and tell you to take something apart. And, as they say… the rest is history. I don’t see a lot of summertime gas pumping jobs anymore, or much of a chance to hang around at the local garage as I did when I was a kid, so getting a start in this field is a little different than in the past. Even though on the job training is still just as important as it was so many years ago, now most of the training is through technical schools. They’ll start you off with the basic fundamentals, and then bring you up to speed to the service requirements and skills needed on today’s cars. The likelihood of jumping straight out of high school into a good paying line tech job just doesn’t happen without some background in it first. Technical school training, training conventions, or on the job training is the best methods I can think of. Even with all of that, when you do land that lucrative job you still have a lot to learn. Well, actually the learning never ends. New procedures, new products… new…new…new, always something new. But what about the old stuff that creeps into your service bay from time to time? That’s where a different knowledge source is needed. Who would know about a 30 year old carburetor system or vacuum controlled HVAC? I know who, the senior technician. They’ve seen it, done it, turned that bolt, and know what it takes. Ever since I was the young gun in the repair shop the scuttlebutt talk was always about how there is a shortage of skilled technicians out there. Some say it’s a lack of interest, the working conditions, the pay, or it could be the stereotypical “mechanic” that the high school guidance counselor described, while he was pushing you to go to college rather than a trade school. (At least that’s the way it was when I was in high school.) I get quite a chuckle out of listening to some of the younger techs that I run across at trade shows, schools, or by email. They have a different type of “smart” about them. They’ve got a very modern approach to the automotive diagnostic process, with web based information, computer testing, and the like. Being a skilled mechanic/technician then, and even more today, isn’t something to be taking lightly. Not everyone is cut out to be in it or stay in it, and the ones who do should be commended. It’s more than nuts and bolts, it’s computers systems, data lines, and sophisticated state of the art electronics. It truly is a knack; it’s a talent, some got it…some don’t. There’s so much to know in this field compared to just a few decades ago that a lot of technical schools try to focus on what is on the road today vs. what used to be on the road. There just isn’t enough class time available to cover all of that. So, a lot of those old carburetor systems have fallen into the history books. Besides, a lot of those tweaks and little fudges that were needed on those bygone car systems are handled with computer software these days, such as dwell and timing, fuel enrichment, and transmission shifting. Each decade of cars has their own set of weirdness to them. It’s something you had to experience, and experience is what the older tech generally has more of. Just the other day I received an email from a young tech who was working on a 70’ model GM that was belching gobs of smoke out the tail pipe. He was very thorough with his diagnostics, and had all the facts and figures in his email. (He really did a nice job.) I asked him if it was an automatic, and if so, pull the modulator off the transmission, and see if there was any fluid in the vacuum hose. He did, and sure enough there was. If he kept digging around, I’m sure he would have found it in an old service manual, but after all the years I’ve put under a hood… I knew what it was just by the way he explained it. It’s one of those things that isn’t on the younger techs’ radar to check, mainly because that type of problem went away with the introduction of the electronic transmission. That’s the kind of thing I’m referring to. Before the advent of the electronic age, most car repairs and adjustments were done with hand tools and timing lights. Each successive generation of mechanics, before my time and certainly after, have had to deal with their own variety of different problems than the next generation. It’s a different kind of smart these days for sure. I still get a kick out of listening to the younger generation techs talking about how they don’t understand a carburetor, or how we even got those things to work. You’re right, and it was definitely a different time back then, a completely different world than we live in today. I’m very glad to see the interest these students have at several of these technical schools I’ve visited. With a little guidance and some time under the hood these students will be tomorrow’s exceptional technicians. They really are trying to put the best possible mechanic into the work force. The days of starting on the lube rack and working your way up to top tech may still be possible. Even then some guys figured out it wasn’t for them, but before these young guns make it through tech school, they’ll know whether or not is was the right career choice. As an old coach use to tell me, “Practice doesn’t make you perfect. Perfect practice does.” And, there’s no doubt starting off on the right foot at a school is a whole lot better than learning some bad traits. I’d still pay attention to those old guys in the shop. They’ve been at it a long time; they know things about using certain tools, or short cuts that only comes with a lot of time under the hood. Some of which just can’t be taught out of a text book. Only years and years of turning a wrench does that. They already know, and then you’ll know. View full article

You've got the best answer to this type of problem that I follow as well. The first thing I've learned in my long career of working on cars is to expect the unexpected and at the same time inform the customer of those unforseen expectations. Without a doubt the number one thing that screws things up is the customer who decides on the repair with their wallet and NOT what the technician/shop recommends. Too many people feel they've been ripped off at another shop that their trust of you is somewhat jaded. I'd rather lose a job than do it halfass. It always, always, always comes back to haunt you. They might be mad, tell you their never coming back, call you the worst mechanic that they have ever been to and sometimes worse. But, you can't please everyone. I've given up trying... I'll inform, note on their ticket...etc... but, I ain't doing it for nothing (unless it IS my fault) Money drives every repair, sometimes it drives it right out of the shop. Life ain't fair. Well expained mc.

The only "trick" to this testing method is the hard slam of the pedal. You really have to bury the pedal to the floor ... not sorta kinda.. but one time from idle to full throttle. Down and let off. that's all it takes. Be sure loads are off and engine is warmed uo all the way.

http://www.gonzostoolbox.com/KnowledgeFolder/MAF-Diagnostics.html Just finished this article It's an easy simple test for a faulty MAF So simple I usually start with this test even before I pull out the scopes or scanners.

Go read the story "Cheap Parts - Cheap Cigars" Been down this road a lot. I tell all my customers that I only will sell AC Delco, Bosch, Motorcraft, and a few other brands. I do have a few off brands that I'll get but, I also tell them I don't like using them. I'll give the customer the break down on the warranties and most of the time they'll go with the better brand. Some customers see the warranties offered as an indication of quality. When in fact it's just bait on a hook. They get ya to buy it and then replace it and replace it and replace it. That's when I tell them the part cost and my labor time are not associated in anyway. If the unit fails I'm doing it all over again for a price...not for free.

Hi I'm Gonzo... the laugh guy.. well not exactly, but you'll find guys like Jeff and myself who've been at this since the earth was flat who have a lot of stories to tell. Welcome. There's no other site quite like ASO.

LOL, been there, seen it, dealt with it, and cleaned them out before. Got a couple of stories on them too. LOL Can you imagine their house? After all these years I've got pretty used to seeing stuff like this... and worse. LOL

Sometimes my story may not be funny, but I might be making a point. And, everybody seems to understand this story. We've all been there... just sometimes we need little reminder that it does happen. Thanks for the comments. I'm sure this story will be in print pretty quickly.

Judging by the Cover It’s a busy day, the bays are full, the phone keeps ringing, the front door bell never seems to stop, and everyone is humming a tune. It’s a picture perfect day at the auto repair shop. Parts were ordered, and surprisingly enough every part came in correct the first time...every time. No snapped off bolts, no rusted parts that needed more than the usual persuasion to get off, and not one fuss with how long things were taking, or how much it costs. I’d like to keep that mental picture for a while, because it doesn’t happen that often in this business. Somehow, some way, there’s going to be a loose nut thrown into the activities of the day. Two new jobs showed up at the same time. A really nice, clean, 07' F350 4WD diesel with an ABS light on, and a really dilapidated 97' KIA with charging system problems, with no light on. The big diesel lumbered into the service bay after the usual explanations of the diagnostic charges. The owner was enthusiastic about having his truck checked out. Why, I’d even say he seemed rather proud about the whole thing. Its text book diagnostics procedures, run a few tests, check the codes, hook up the scanner and watch the speed sensor PID’s. Piece of cake. On the other hand the same explanation of the diagnostic charges was given to the owner of the 97' KIA. That didn’t go over as well... at all. Seems the KIA had been around the block and around again. He has had it checked out at various shops, which ended up with the owner ticked off and no positive answers to his cars problems. It took more than a little effort on my part just to get the owner to allow me to diagnose the problem. He finally said yes, and handed me the keys. The little car was in the front parking area off to one side, away from the other cars. The paint was faded, the clear coat was peeling, and the windshield was full of splinter cracks. The dull and faded hood had greasy hand prints all over the front edge where people were grabbing it. That was just the superficial first glance, it gets better. I grabbed the door handle to open the door, it didn’t budge. About then, the owner leans out of the front office door, while waiting for his ride and said, “Ya gotta lift it up pretty hard and then jerk it open.” I waved “thanks” to the owner and gave the door a good yank, it creaked and moaned as it swung open. The interior of the car was a pit. Cigarette butts everywhere, papers, fast food cups, and trash littered the interior. The smell was oppressive. But, I said I’d look at, and after all the commotion and persuading at the front counter I wasn’t backing out now. I’m bound and determined to diagnose this problem, even if I have to wear a gas mask to do it. The little KIA ended up in the bay next to the big diesel with the ABS problems. Both vehicles didn’t take long to diagnose. The diesel was just a faulty front speed sensor, while the KIA had two problems. A faulty alternator and a strange problem with the instrument cluster. The charge light wouldn’t come on. Since this car has an alternator that is controlled by the PCM, the charge light is just there to indicate the condition of the charging system to the driver. (It can charge just fine without a charge light in working condition on this particular car). The only thing to do now was to write up both estimates. I was so sure the big shiny diesel job would be a “do”, so when I called in to get prices on the parts I told the parts supplier to go ahead and send the speed sensor, but to hold off on the alternator. I just couldn’t see the KIA getting done. Next step, inform the customers. The call was made to the owner of the diesel. When I explained the results of the test and the estimate for the repair, instead of getting an OK as I expected, what I got was an earful of what this guy thought of mechanics, the automotive repair business, and how we (mechanics) are all just a bunch of rip offs taking advantage of hard working people like himself. Really? And to think, he was so eager and obliging to have it checked out and now this? I don’t know if it was the price of the repair or this guy just flipped out. There was no repairing the damage to my ego, or this guy’s distrust of the auto repair biz. It pretty much knocked the wind out of my sails. I hung the phone up knowing this job wasn’t going to happen. Discouraged and a bit downhearted after the last phone call I took a deep breath and made the call to the KIA owner. I went through all the steps needed to bring his little car back to life, including the part about how I would have to pull the instrument cluster out and see what’s going on as to why the charge light wasn’t working. I was expecting this guy to flip out but, to my utter amazement, he said, “Do it. Do it all. You’re the first person to make any sense out of what’s wrong, and I think you’re the man for the job. I expected it to cost a few bucks. Just call me when it’s ready.” I was still in shock as I hung up the phone. Here’s this rundown, grease covered car that I wouldn’t put a plugged nickel into, and this guy is having me do the whole thing, while the owner of the exceptionally clean diesel is on this rampage about how rotten car repair people are. Go figure. I guess it just go goes to show... “Ya can’t judge a book by its cover, or an owner by his car.” View full article

Multi-million dollar writing career??? Alright who's been holding out on me! ! ! Pay UP Sucker! LOL

Posted at the service counter at my shop We open usually around 7:30 But, sometimes as late as 9:00 The shop is open until 5pm unless I close early Sometimes I'm here until midnight, but that doesn't mean I'm answering the door Somedays I don't show up at all, but lately when I'm here, I'm here... unless I'm somewhere else. However, if I'm not here I'm nowhere to be found. Thanks for being here, the managment.

I can always print more copies. LOL Oh, and I've got lots and lots of stories. Reading these posts made me think of quite a few of them LOL... thanks for the plug Wes,

My guess... nothing. I had a guy who came up needed a can and gas, said he'd be back tomorrow. Wow.... tomorrow seems to never show up does it. lesson learned for sure

Yuk, yuk, yuk... I'm smilin' and remembering ... but you forgot about being drug to your relatives house even though you thought they were a bit crazy... because they were still family, and familys always stuck together. LOL

I try to only take checks from customers I know. Once in a while I get stuck with one but most (not all) are resolved when I sent them to the DA's office. Lots of crazy paper work, you know, "describe the individual - when did you recieve the check - how often did you try to contact the person...etc..etc..etc.." One thing I refuse to do years ago (law has changed somewhat now) was excepting half cash - half check. According to the state "Legal tender nullifies any other form of payment." In other words, cold green cash is all they have to honor so the DA won't do anything about the check. (Been there...got burned) The other trick I used to pull, but the banks got wise to it is this. Take the bad check to the bank and ask if a lower amount will cash out. (You just guess on the amount... Vegas bet at this point) If something around 20 dollars or so less will clear then I would proceed as follows. I would go get a bank deposit slip fill it out (you've got the account number and name) present the deposit slip with the appropriate amount of cash and hand them the bad check. Then ask if this will clear. Of course it will because you've provided the additional amount. Now you cash the check, OK, ya lost 20 bucks or so... but you clean their ass out in the mean time. Oh, I've got a few anger "shotgun" threating phone calls over this stunt. LOL which of course amount to nothing but a whole lot of hot air. These days, most banks won't let you do this trick, or at least I haven't tried it in years (decades) Basically, I don't take their checks anymore. nuff said. Oh, why does it work? Because you don't need a signature to put money in... only to get it back out....and you've got that on the check already. LOL

Ya made my day... a little weird endorsement, but I'll take it. In theroy that was the whole idea about the book. We all have those days, and why not share them. We might learn a thing or two from all these experiences. Thanks for the post.

Even though I write story after story about customers and their strange behaviors, this is a good one. As with most of my stories, and I can tell this story is no different. It's not so much the customer that the story is about, but more to the point how YOU as the technician/shop owner came out of it. It's a learning experience for all of us in the biz. It's so true, dealing with the general public is a challenge.... a never ending challenge. Keep your chin up, or dodge to the left.....whatever it takes, cause ya know.... it's harder to hit a moving target. LOL Great story...

I plan my winter months with restoration projects. Just finished a 56 Willys sent it home last week. The next one is supposed to be here next week. 82 Military Blazer. Leaving the outside all olive drab while the inside is going to be all updated with modern gauges, interior, wiring etc... That's how I make it through the winter. I pretty much stock up on the resto's and schedule them from Nov. through to March. Done this for years. That way I always have a back burner job working. So, when the shop is empty I can spend more time on the restoration.

good one Frank, that's as bad as the guy who came in telling me his, "flipendoozel" went haywire. I never did find out what that was, he left in a huff because I asked him to spell it. LOL... unbelievable...

I guess that's only fair Joe... I sent a few crazy's in your direction so now we're even. LOL

Details Like most professions, automotive repair relies on good information. Preciseness is a must. If the manual shows a tolerance for a gear back lash or specific timing for an engine, the person holding the wrenches is going to do his/her best to obtain those values. It’s not only the values, but the descriptive nature of the components that’s just as important. If two techs are talking about a solenoid or a sensor, the terms and nomenclature are important for their conversation. This is true in just about any type of job or hobby. Getting the description of a component or procedure correct is all part of the communication. But, that doesn’t hold true with the novice or misinformed customer. Trying to sort out what is a real problem and what is not, can be a terminology battle. I know I’m not the only one who’s had to deal with the phone call or customer at the service counter who is trying their best to describe their problem, while throwing in some term or part name that just doesn’t fit their explanation. Now, if I try to explain something to someone I always will use the full name or common name for the component. That way I feel I’m not misleading them. They may ask several times, “Now what’s that part called?” and if that happens, I’ll try a little less professional explanation. Although, from the consumer’s side of the counter all bets are off when it comes to explaining things. I’ve heard it all. From headlamps being referred to as “light diffusers”, and a timing belt as a “clocking controller”, and of course, the ever popular… “relay switch”. There are thousands of odd terms out there, far too many for me to list here. By now, you’ve probably got some sort of grin on your face, yep, me too. My wife on the other hand, tells me I shouldn’t stand at the service counter with that quirky little smirk when this happens. Honestly, after some of the escapades I’ve had, you can’t help but laugh. Just to prove a point, one night after dinner my wife and I were talking about a subject dear to her heart…quilting. (Which I know next to nothing about.) I purposely blurted out a mixture of two different terms I’ve heard her use, all in the wrong context just to see her reaction. And, right on cue she went into full out “giggle snorts”, which nearly dropped her to the floor with laughter. That’s proof enough for me. Whenever you’re talking to a pro, and you try to sound professional and don’t… the giggle snorts are automatic. This also includes jumping into an explanation for one problem, and then abruptly asking a question that’s completely unrelated or absurd. How do I handle these absurd questions? Easy, I have an absurd answer to go along with it. Of course, I’ll try to correct their misguided information, as long as it doesn’t go so far off base that it turns into a lesson in automotive repair rather than trying to fix their car. Just the other day I got a call from a guy who told me this interesting story. He said after installing a new battery the headlights wouldn’t work, the park lights wouldn’t work, and it wouldn’t come out of gear. As his description of the problem continued, my little mechanic brain was already hard at work zooming through the wiring diagrams of that particular car and surmising the possible problems, when all of a sudden he blurts out an entirely unrelated question that stopped my thought process dead in its tracks. “Do you think it’s the security system?” he asked. Ok, good question… sort of. A quick rethink of the theft and starting system on that type of car, I answered him, “Does it start?” “Yes, but I can’t get it out of park.” Knowing the circuits I could deduce it’s not the security system, so I answered his question like this, “No it’s probably not the security system. I’ll bet you have an open circuit either from something you left disconnected, a blown fuse, or fuseable link.” “What’s a fishable link doing in my car?” (Did I say that?) That’s a new one. (I’ve got that smirk on my face again.) He kept repeating it even after I tried to correct him. For some people it’s from misguided information, or sometimes it’s a homegrown interpretation of how the car works. Sometimes they just don’t comprehend what you’re telling them. It never ceases to amaze me how many times somebody will call a component by some homemade name, or twist a problem they are having into an indescribable adventure into some weird world of automotive jargon. Maybe it’s me… maybe I’m trying to be too precise. But, I can’t think of any other way to be, except to be as precise and to the point as I can possibly be. For example, the call I got about a 95’ Jeep that the owner claims to have ripped out “all” the wires. But, it runs fine, has a transmission problem, and the tail lights don’t work. Aside from the short history lesson about his car, his only “actual” question was, “Do ya think it’s a coil pack?” Ok, for the layman a coil pack might as well be a widget. But, to the trained and seasoned tech the mere word “coil pack” speaks volumes. Again, that little mechanic brain of mine was trying to put together a mental picture of wires pulled out, a bad transmission, and no tail lights only to have this question about a coil pack come at me from left field. Now all I have is this “Rube Goldberg” image of what’s left of this guy’s car in my head. (For the record a coil pack is a device that produces the high voltage spark for a spark plug, and a are in pairs or multiple coils molded together to form a “pack”.) His only question was whether or not I think it was caused by a coil pack. My answer to him, “Ah, no.” The more he explained his problem the more my diagnostic mind went into a tail spin with even more bizarre interpretations of unrelated issues. At some point it becomes a futile effort to either explain things, or try to make sense of what is going on. Every mechanic has experienced these “questions” at some point. I for one, get a kick out of the absurdness and wacky explanations. If you can imagine spending a day deep in thought over a serious diagnostic problem with countless diagrams, software, and scanners, then end up on the phone with somebody wanting to know how much to put a helicopter landing pad on the top of their Yugo, then you can understand why your mechanic gets a case of the giggle snorts when you ask him that. Sometimes it might be better just to tell the mechanic what the problem is and leave the diagnosing to the experts. The details are in the communication, the better the communication the fewer giggle snorts. View full article