Gonzo

Picture This Years ago my younger brother came to work for me. He didn’t know a thing about cars, but was willing to learn all he could. Teaching new techs is an art that most shop owners have to learn to do, but teaching your little brother can be a chore and can test your patience. I muddled thru it all and taught him what I could. I was sure at some point in time the two of us would butt heads like brothers will do, and he would take his new found skills and move up in the rank and files of the automotive technical world, but in the meantime it was his turn to learn from his older brother. When he first started I would walk him through each step of how to diagnose a certain system in a car. A lot of times he would have questions, and I’d do my best to answer them. He learned quickly and was really sharp at picking up some of those little details that are harder to teach. You know things like how you held a certain wrench or used a certain tool, to you and me it’s no big deal. But to a novice, it’s a revelation, then you (I) tend to forget to mention those certain traits while you’re teaching. Mainly because you are trying to get to the solution as efficiently as possible, and you neglect to bring it up. Such as: “always test your test light connection before testing what you’re testing, or don’t forget to check for all your tools before you pull the car out of the shop….” Things like that. One day we had a truck come in with dual fuel tanks on it. The gas gauge wasn’t working and needed some attention. This was a perfect opportunity for Junior to learn a few of my short cuts on these old models. It was an older Ford, in which the tank gauge ran thru the tank switchover button. It was rather easy to pull it out of the dash and connect to the gauge from the back of the switch. Luckily it was the typical problem I’ve seen a hundred times in the past. The switch connections would melt and the tank wouldn’t switch from the front tank to the rear, and of course the gauge wouldn’t move either. After locating the correct leads to the gauge and to the tanks I decided to show him how the gauge worked. I hooked up the one of the tanks to the crossover lead that would supply the signal from the tank to the gauge. “Ya see this, that’s the lead to the fuel gauge in the dash, and this is one of the tank wires. I’ll connect these together and we should get a reading on the dash,” I told him. He was watching intently, taking in all the wiring diagram information, the location of the wires, and how I was bypassing the switch. He was fascinated with the flow of the current and the way the gauge would respond. I even went as far as moving the gauge from full to empty by opening and closing it to a ground signal. While I had his attention I filled him in on the two types of gauges that were used back then (bimetallic and magnetic) and how low resistance on a bimetal type gauge would read near a full tank, while a magnetic gauge would read close to empty. Change the resistance and the gauge would/should read accordingly. “So, if we put gas in the tank the gauge should move right? That way we could check the sending units in the tanks too,” he asked me. “Great idea, grab a gas can and let’s add a few gallons,” I said, excited that he was so interested in the project. He grabbed a can of gas and poured a few gallons in the tank. I was watching the gas guage carefully, but there was no movement. I knew I was on the right wires, but nothing was happening. Now what? Are there more problems? “Crawl under there, and check to be sure the wire color is correct,” I yelled from the cab to him. “Yep, it’s the right wire on the tank.” “Well, we might have to pull the tank; it’s not changing the gauge readings up here.” “Before we do that let’s add some more gas, maybe we didn’t add enough,” Junior tells me. I thought I better go back and help hold the funnel, while he poured the gas in the tank. Unknowing to me, all this time my wife (who was the office manager) was listening in on the whole thing. She likes to keep tabs on me, and make sure I’m not going into one of my usual rants or having a fit because I had to explain something over and over again to little brother. This time she was standing at the corner of the shop just behind the truck with a camera. “CLICK”, I heard the camera shutter go off and she was back there laughing like there was no tomorrow. “What’s so funny?” I asked her. “You two idiots have been putting gas in the wrong tank. You’re on the front tank, and you’re putting gas in the rear tank,” my wife answers, laughing hysterically. About then the camera “clicked” again… this time it was an action shot taken at precisely the exact moment when these two idiots had that dumb struck look on their faces and realized what they just did. The shot had both of us on our knees, one holding a funnel and the other with the half empty gas can, and both of us staring right into the camera lens. Couldn’t have set it up any better if you tried. The picture clearly showed the side of the truck with both fuel tank doors visible and there was no doubt which tank we were putting in the extra gas. I guess it was one of those things I should have mentioned when we were checking the tank senders… make sure we are both on the same tank. For years that picture hung over her desk, and anytime I thought I was so smart she would point at the photo. Usually with that typical smirk, usually shaking her finger at me and of course the laugh… she had to laugh, but it wasn’t all that funny until she had me laughing about it too. Ok, Ok, I’m not perfect... and now my little brother knows it too. These days he’s a top notch tech at a dealership, and I have to call him on occasions for some help on how to solve things once in a while. Oh the photo… uhmmm… what photo?? Somehow it’s missing… haven’t seen the darn thing in years. But I guess I really don’t need to see the photo … the wife has a pretty good memory... she reminds me just how smart I think I am every chance she gets. View full article

bobbing bobcat is the best I got

As the name implies it's a "Labor Guide" Anytime there is an overlapping repair use your own judgement and your professionalism to guide you. Labor is money, but customers are our bread and butter.

Yea, every now and then I come up with a good one. This story had me laughing my butt off as I wrote it down. too friggin funny.

Ok, Who Left the Gate Open? Clunkers, Hoopty’s, Leaners, Rust Buckets, and those bumper-draggin’-krinkled cars must travel in packs. How else can you explain how these oil dripping, rod knocking, windshield cracking, grease slinging, POS’s (Piece of Scrap) can find their way to the shop all at the same time? I swear there’s a gate at the end of the street that somebody has left open. I’m sure there’s a gate, there has to be one, and I’m sure there’s somebody down there who opened that sucker up and sent all of these dilapidated, unmaintained, falling apart fugitives of the service bay to my front door. Sometimes, after I close up at night I go on a hunt for this elusive gate. I can’t find it. Where’s this gate at? Wait a minute, I think I know why. When the closed sign goes up they move the gate to another part of town. Yea that’s it…it’s gotta be… and I’ll bet they’ve got a couple of these gates in every time zone too! It’s a mass underground movement I tell ya! Seriously, I can go for weeks or even months and not see one of these 4 wheel disasters. But, when one does sneak passed the gate one or two more always slip through as well. And, as usual, their owners are only concerned with one problem and one problem only, but with these run down relics it’s never “one” problem, it’s a series of numerous problems that lead up to a cataclysmic failure that finally brought these unrecognizable modes of transportation off the highways and byways and into a repair shop. As of the last “super moon” just a while ago, the gate must have been opened for an extended length of time. It wasn’t just one or two… but dozens of these overdue for the crusher jobs coming in. One guy asked if I could find out what the grinding noise was in the left front of his van. He forgot to mention he was dragging a huge overloaded trailer behind this old van. I told him that I can’t put it up on the lift with a trailer hooked to it, so if he didn’t mind, disconnect the trailer. After he pulled into the lot, and tried to back up, he found out his reverse gear had gone out. Right there in the parking lot! Geez, now I’m out in the parking lot looking at this POS not to get paid mind you… but to get rid of it. It was without a doubt the most tore up, bent, broken, fluid dripping, cancer rotted vehicle I’ve ever seen that still had air in all four tires. The guy wants to discuss fixing his metal grinding sound but isn’t concerned about the lack of reverse. I sternly told the guy, “Look, I’ll see what’s making the grinding sound, but, you’ll have to help push it off of the lift and out of the service bay.” He didn’t like that idea all that well. Oh, I forgot to mention… there was just enough room for the driver to get in the van. The passenger side was full of junk. Even the dash had about a foot of crumbled up papers, coffee cups, and various other unusable items stashed on it. And, the smell, OMG! Unbearable! Just as that one left and was heading down the street the next patron of the gate passed it on its way into the parking lot. This time it’s a service truck, a big Dodge Ram diesel dually on a trailer. It doesn’t start, and it’s supposed to have had a fire accompanied with all of this. The two fellas that were there to drop the truck off had no offloading ramps, no winch, no boards, and no idea what they were doing. I asked, “How did you get the truck on the trailer?” “Oh, that was easy,” the brightest of the two of them told me, “We used a crane and picked it up and dropped it on the trailer.” I watched in amazement as these two knuckleheads scampered around the trailer like the Keystone cops trying to come up with some way of getting it off. The no#2 trailer efficiency expert had a brilliant idea. “Let’s tie a rope to that there building over yonder, then I’ll drive the truck we used to tow it in with and you steer the broken down one. I’ll gun it and you’ll slide right off the trailer!” OMG! ! I’ve got to put a stop to this right now. I came out of the shop with both arms waving frantically, “Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second! You’re not using the neighbors building as some sort of anchor post for some foolish idea. How about you guys take this thing home, find the ramps, or get that crane and put this thing on a proper tow truck. Because what you’re suggesting can lead to all kinds of problems.” I thought I might have to break out a chalk board and a couple of school desks to go through to these guys about the variables that could happen. Of course, they both just stared straight ahead as if every brain cell in their head had just exploded. The last thing I needed was for these two hayseeds to be on the six o’clock news explaining they just saw Big Foot in the parking lot pushing their truck or how aliens landed and smashed the service truck into the side of the building next door. They finally towed it home… what a relief. Not to be outdone, the very next one was another piece of work. Lost horsepower, wouldn’t shift right, and sounded terrible. What a horrid piece of machinery. Honestly, you could have scrapped the gunk off this engine into a rag and squeezed a quart of oil out of it. I managed to get the inspection cover off of the timing belt and just as I suspected the timing had jumped. Way overdue for replacement. It’s not only going to need a new belt, but a bath before I work on this hunk of junk, and then… who knows what I’ll find. It just never ends. Someday I’m going to find that gate, and when I do.... I’m going to weld it shut. Lock it up and throw away the key. If you spend your day looking at these unbelievable poorly kept vehicles like I do, ya just have to ask yourself. “Can it get any worse?” Oh, it does… and it certainly will. For the most part, these sorts of jobs never turn into paying/profitable jobs. Most of these cars are so far gone that the repair costs keep going up and the customer still ends up with a bucket of rust to drive. Then… … … Hold on a second, listen. Do ya hear it? I hear the sound of a gate creaking open, and the sounds of an old wore out motor. I can see plumes of black smoke and I can smell the burnt oil too! Oh no, they’re coming. Ok, who left the gate open! Here we go again…. View full article

Thanks for your comments Joe, and you too Frank. It's a highlight of my weekend to read your comments, and everyone else that leaves comments. Thanks again.

Mechanic one – Car zero There’s a game played nearly every day that doesn’t have a lot of fans filling the stadiums or bleachers. It’s a battle between the machines and the humans. The combatants are a car, any car, and a mechanic, any mechanic. The playing field can be any place from a far off farm field to a one stall garage at the edge of town. The goal is to diagnose and repair said car, while keeping your wits, sanity and all your appendages intact. Each game has some time limits already established by a ruling guide for labor hours, but this is only a guide, and not the actual time. Additional time maybe added if it is deemed necessary for extended play. Scraped knuckles and other small injuries are considered a normal occurrence. No time outs are allowed, unless said injuries requires medical attention. In the event of a medical emergency, an alternate mechanic can step in and continue play, if the original mechanic has to forfeit his/her position. Otherwise, they just suck it up and move on. Delay of game can come from all sorts of directions. Parts may need special ordered, a bolt might be frozen in place, or the customer has to think about the whole repair before the game commences. Who’s going to win, the car or the mechanic? It’s a daily battle of wits, determination, and perseverance at the repair shop. The rules of this game change with every new model introduced. Newer and more sophisticated systems that are developed change the play book all the time. Each of these new systems is another challenge for the technician to learn the new play, understand it, and make the repairs. The game doesn’t get any easier the longer you play. What was a good offensive call last time may end up in lost yardage this time around. Computer systems change, procedures change, and the car changes, but that game goes on. The car, the customer, the parts, and the shop, all play a part in making this game either easier or tougher than it was before. It all starts with a good defense. Researching the information about the new plays and procedures is the first line of defense. Good, solid information about your opponent (the car) is the foundation for any successful game. There’s always some interception thrown or returned kick that makes it tougher to play the game. One tid-bit of information that is omitted in transcribing the information from the manufacturer’s pages, or poor descriptions and procedures given to the second string information outfits is just one more chance for the mechanic to fumble. They don’t want to punt it, they don’t want to lose yardage, it’s all about a win or nothing else. Offensively, the customer has the edge. They bring the problem to the mechanic and start the play. Most of the time the customer starts their first play with an audible call that is usually scrambled up with a few facts and a whole lot of garbled unintelligible information. They will begin their play by explaining what’s wrong with the car. Sometimes the banter begins with, “I want my brake fluid changed, and I want the brake pads looked at because the pedal feels spongy.” Typically, self-diagnostics leads to broken plays or far worse… a full on blitz. It’s now second and long, and the mechanic has the ball. The mechanic asks, “Is the fluid black, or contaminated in some way that you know of?” Oh, oh, no yardage gained here; the customer was sneaking in an illegal play. It’s the old “Bad information from the internet” play. That’ll be a 15 yard penalty, loss of downs, and a full diagnostics charge now. The mechanic goes on the offensive and diagnosis the problem. It’s just worn pads and soft front brake line hoses. Now all that’s left is to run the play past the customer and let them make the call. The call is made, there’s a slight hesitation, but… we have a first down! The job is sold. Now to do the actual work. All the preliminary tests are completed, the parts have been ordered, and the half time show is underway. The third quarter starts with the mechanic waiting for the parts. While they are being delivered the tear down can commence. As the players on the field scramble for positon, pulling the parts from the shelves, and making the delivery, several yards are gained and end zone is in sight. We’re down to the last quarter of this game. Can the mechanic pull this one off? Will the delivered pads be the correct ones, will the lines fit correctly, and did he make the right call? The play is made, the components have been installed. All the procedures have been checked and rechecked again. It’s all up to this next play… the drive test. The test drive was a success. Move the chains! It’s 1st and goal. The mechanic proceeds to the service desk with the completed paper work. The service writer checks the signs, gives a nod to the tech, makes a motion for the customer from the side lines, and the final play of the game is at hand. The transaction has been made, the customer is happy with the results, the service writer is smiling, and the mechanic makes the run for the end zone. SCORE! It’s mechanic one, car zero. The winner and still champion, the mechanic. The customer shakes hands at the end of the game with the mechanic and service writer. It was a great game, well done everyone. No time to waste. All the players have to get ready for the next game. It will be another battle, and another challenge to take on. In the game of auto mechanics the challenge and changes are all part of the game we play. Nobody knows all the plays. It’s something you have to go back to the locker room and study time and time again. But with the proper calls, good plays, and a whole lot of effort, mechanics across the country can tackle it. If the game didn’t have so many option plays with all the various changes in today’s cars, the game would be a lot easier for both the defense and the offensive sides. But we all know that the changes are part of the game and will always be. It’s a lot tougher game to play at home these days. I’m still surprised how many arm chair quarterbacks are out there still trying to play the game in their home garage. Playing the game is one thing, but knowing how to play the game correctly is what every mechanic does when they step up to the scrimmage line. Mechanics play to win and yes, we do keep score. thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed it. View full article

Hang on Joe, it's still moving. Ya just can't read this story without a smile.

As the World Turns We are all on a journey through space and time. From the moment we are born we start our travels around a large star we call the sun while the earth spins on its axis and follows more or less a predictable pattern of seasonal changes. As time moves on, we, the human race, (Why is it called a race anyway? Are we in some sort of a hurry?), shapes and molds our environment to suit our needs. We invent things to better our lives, and as we spin through the galaxy, our inventions keep improving. The automobile for example, has evolved and improved with every turn of this big blue marble. So much so, that it tends to leave a lot of people dizzy as to the accomplishments and or the advancements of the modern vehicle. For some folks, putting logical circumstances into reality is just too much for them, especially when it involves their cars. As we make this trek on our little planet, sooner or later you’ll encounter some of these celestial occupants that for one reason or another find all this spinning around just a bit too much for them. It could be from the tilted axis and global rotation or gravity has placed their common sense deep down in some dark place where no one has gone before or ever will. But, you can count on one thing… if they’ve got a car, they’re going to need something serviced, and sooner or later they’ll show up at a repair shop. I’ve seen some pretty strange stuff from time to time. The one thing I can count on is with the next spin of the globe they’ll be another unbelievable galactic traveler at my door. It’s as if the planet has to throw one of these “off kilter” individuals my way just to keep me from getting dizzy myself. Here’s one that still makes me lose my equilibrium. On a rather average day, I thought it was appropriate to mention to the service writer that things have been going to smooth for too long. I was sure something weird should happen pretty soon, because if it doesn’t, all the unused chaos will start to build up until it turns into a gigantic black hole that nothing escapes from. I guess I spoke to soon, sure enough, in walks the next traveler from the world beyond normalcy… it started again. This guy came in with a request from way out there in the outer reaches of space. He said, “I’d like you to add my two cylinders back onto my engine.” (Did ya feel that? I think the earth reversed direction for a second.) “I had them in the car yesterday, but their gone now,” he went on to tell me. At this point I don’t know whether to laugh or stand there and stare in disbelief or grab a hold of something just in case the earth shifted again. Well, curiosity got the best of me; I had to ask, “How is it that you lost two cylinders?” The gentleman stepped up to the counter and in a very authoritative voice said, “The last shop I was at . . . (Slamming his hand on the counter just then.) . . . Stole them!” (It happened again, I swear I felt the earth shutter that time.) Now, I’m pretty sure I don’t keep spare cylinders lying around, and I can’t remember ever removing one let alone two of them. But there’s always a first time for everything. I’m sure I just missed them; they’re probably on the same shelf that I keep the blinker fluid and pre-stretched timing belts on, which is usually kept next to the seat belt glue. The story goes that he had gone to a shop that morning to have his car tuned up. He told them what kind of car he had and they gave him an estimate for it. But, before they even started ordering parts they checked things out. Turns out that it wasn’t a V6 engine as the customer described, but a 4 cylinder engine. The cost of the repair was going to be a whole lot less than the V6 so there wasn’t any point in calling him; they figured he’d get a thrill out of having a much smaller bill than what he was quoted. However, when the owner of this galactic speedster picked his car up he wasn’t at all happy that his car seemed to be shy a couple of pistons. Somehow someway, the earth continued to spin despite this guy’s valiant efforts to cause a major scene in this shops lobby. He really wanted them to put them back. Chaos ensued; finally after the police cleared the seen this guy still wanted a second opinion. So he ended up at my abode. (Why me? Seriously… what kind of gravitational pull yanked this guy across town to my shop?) I tried to straighten this whole thing out. I went as far as checking the VIN for him, and sure enough it showed his car to be a 4 cylinder engine from the factory. There was no getting through to this guy though. His mind was made up no matter what I said. He left in a huff and as far as I know he’s still driving around trying to find someone to install his two missing cylinders. Then there was the guy who dropped off his car off before his vacation. He was going to some far away island country for a little R&R. We were supposed to put a new engine in while he was gone. 3 days after he left I get a call from him. He’s on some highway somewhere in this foreign country talking … Ok … yelling, on the phone that he is following his truck as we speak and wants to know what the heck we are doing so far from the shop. I have no words at this point. I’m on the phone, in the shop, staring at this guy’s truck, in the service bay with a new crate motor dangling from the hoist just about to be dropped in. I can only imagine what this guy is going to do when he catches up to his supposed truck. Must be one of those alter universes this guy was calling from. Oh there’s more… there’s always more. As long as the world spins around the sun they’ll be more. Maybe that’s why it’s called “winding down” at the end of the day. Ah, yes, as the world turns away from the sun and evening approaches it’s a good time to unwind from all these dizzy encounters, a time for contemplation and chance to think of how you can improve things in the future. Enough already, I’m getting dizzy thinking about it all, pour me another sarsaparilla bartender… it looks like it’s going to be another long trip around the sun tomorrow. View full article

I had an employee years ago that was changing out an ignition switch. In his haste to get it done he twisted this little odd shaped piece that joined the actual mechanical part of the ignition switch to the electrical part. The part was not available unless you bought the whole ignition switch assembly. It was about the same size as a no# 2 round shank phillips screw driver. I did a little welding and a bit of filing on an old screwdriver shank and made an exact copy. Needless to say I was a bit pissed, but the mechanic never stopped thanking me for saving his ass. I laugh about it now...but it wasn't funny at the time.

Unconventional Repairs There are times when all the diagnostic trees, diagrams, and graphs aren’t enough. Sometimes, you just can’t get from point A to point B without some sort of homemade intervention that will give you the answer. You need a little ingenuity, a little of that “Mac Gyver” magic to pull you through the next obstacle. It’s all part of that “natural mechanical ability” each one of us possesses; some use more of it than others of course. It’s safe to say, if you spend your day tinkering with mechanical or electrical devices like most mechanics do, you’ll soon find a way to circumvent a procedure with some sort of creative method or short cut that gets the job done faster. Not all repairs require this touch or finesse, but there are those times when being unconventional just works better. If it wasn’t for me being a little unconventional way back when, and coming up with my own “Mac Gyver” quick-on-the-spot repair, I might have never impressed my wife. She was a customer at the time, and had a little problem with a power window. She didn’t have a lot to spend on the repair, and figured she could charm me into taking care of it. (I’ll admit it… I was a bit smitten from the get go.) The retaining spring for one of the window motor’s brushes had snapped in half. All I had to do was find a replacement spring. I dug and dug around my tool box and desk drawers, but couldn’t find a spring the right size. Then I looked over and saw that she was patiently waiting for her car, while working on a crossword puzzle with a ball point pen. I struck up a conversation and talked her into letting me “borrow” her pen for a minute. As I unscrewed the pen and removed the spring, I gave her a wink and told her that this little spring was all I needed to fix her car. She looked a little confused, and had her doubts, but it worked perfectly, and… I got a date with that pretty little gal out of it. I’ll bet ya never thought that an unconventional repair would lead to a date and later marriage? Well, it did. There are a lot of unconventional repairs that aren’t in any of the repair manuals. Things like heating or cooling a component to see if it is affected by temperature. If you’re following the diagnostic menu to the letter, it might tell you to check the impedance, or voltage input/output when the failure occurs. But, it might be just as easy to freeze that stubborn component and recheck it. I used this unconventional diagnostic method years ago to diagnose overheated ignition pick-up coils and modules. Definitely not in the repair procedures, but it did the trick. There are all kinds of simple diagnostics tests that aren’t in any manual. Like spritzing water on plug wires to see if they’ll arc, or using a test light to ground out a spark plug. This isn’t duct tape and coat hanger repairs, not at all. I’m talking about coming up with ways to simplify, or side step some of the long drawn out procedures mechanics and technicians run across on a daily basis. This “Mac Gyver” stuff isn’t anything new either. Odd repairs and diagnostic work like this have been going on since the beginning of time. Ask any old timer, they might tell you about putting a wooden clothes pin on the fuel line to keep the fuel from freezing up or vapor locking on a hot day. It works on the same principal as laying a wooden spoon across a pot to keep it from boiling over. (Never tried that? Try it, it works! I’ll bet your better half might know this trick.) These days however, when people talk about unconventional repairs or better ideas they don’t call them “unconventional” anymore, they’re called “life hacks”. Call it what you want… as long as it works. If you look around I’m sure you’ll find a few life hacks just about everywhere. From the kitchen to the garage there’s always something that somebody has come up with to make life easier. Me, I’m more interested in something that makes my job in the shop easier. Like the few tricks mechanics have come up with to get stuck bolts out, or using plain water to free up rusted parts, or dousing a wire or harness with baby powder so it will slide easier through a narrow opening. The list is endless. I think it would be great if there was a website or book with all these life hacks that mechanics have come up with over the years. I know I’d keep a copy handy. Ya never know when you might need an unconventional method to solve a problem. I haven’t found a book on the subject yet, but there a few of these life hacks that have made their way to You Tube. Like using starting fluid to reset a huge tire back on the rim. But, for the most part these tricks of the trade go unnoticed. Then again, there are a few of these unconventional repairs I’ve heard of that I find hard to believe. Some seem too farfetched or just plain idiotic to me. Let’s face it, not every Mac Gyver hack works all that well either. My wife, you know the one with the ball point pen spring? She recently had a knee replaced. What an ordeal, lots and lots of tests, therapy sessions, and countless ice bags. Well after the months of physical therapy was over, she was still dealing with some tendonitis in one spot. Her doctor wanted to keep her on the regiment of continual therapy. But, her therapist had another idea. Her therapist was also a licensed dry needle therapist. Ok, call it what it is… acupuncture. After having her calf and quad muscles poked and prodded with a few dozen needles, the tendonitis problem vanished completely. It might be an ancient form of an unconventional repair… but it worked. Later, when she went back to her doctor for a checkup, he wasn’t exactly convinced the needle treatment had anything to do with her recovery. Me, I’m just glad it eased her pain. Results are what matters, not so much how ya got there. That’s how a lot of these life hacks go. One person thinks its nuts, while another tries it, and it works great for them. To this day that stuffy old doctor isn’t buying the story. All I can say is, “Get over it Doc. Sometimes all we need to do is think outside the box and try something a little unconventional. It just might be the answer.” View full article

The New Guy In the Shop We’ve all had that first day at the new job and we’re never quite sure how things are going to go. Your resume got you this far but now it’s up to your actions and reactions whether or not you’re going to fit in. As we all know, first impressions are usually the best impressions, so you want to get started off on the right foot. First things first, where should I put my tool box? Which lift is mine? Used oil, where does it go? How many air lines are there? Who do I see about ordering parts? So many questions, so many things to know. It can be quite intimidating at first, you have to find things out like; does the boss allow personal phone calls, or whether or not the shop will tolerate your music. It could be the first job that your handed that might have you on edge. Then again, it all could be a breeze, a piece of cake, nothing for a stepper! We can always hope so. Look around the shop a bit and it won’t be hard to spot the trainees/apprentices though. At least you’ll know who they are. The trainees are the ones with the grease smudges on their face. They haven’t learned not to wipe their face with their greasy hands yet. That is, unless you are the new trainee, well then, here’s a tip for ya… wash up first! Once you’ve moved your toolbox to the designated spot and start opening a few drawers don’t be surprised if there are a few peering eyes trying to see what tools you brought with you. They're just trying to find out if you’ve got the right kind of tools, or which tools you’re most likely to borrow. Borrowing tools and being the new guy isn’t a good combination, but I’m sure you’ll have to borrow something sooner or later. Then again, if you’ve got something they need, that’s a whole different story. After a few weeks you’ll start to get into the swing of things. Soon the new guy thing isn’t so much of a curiosity as much as it is the subject at the break table. “What prank can we pull on the new guy”. I’d say there’s a good chance if you walk near the break room and you hear a lot of chatter but when you actually walk into the room everything goes quiet… uhm… you’re probably the subject of conversation. Especially if the other mechanics are sitting there smiling sheepishly. Chances are somebody is going to grab you by the ankles while you’re on a creeper or air up the portable bead seater and blast air up your pants leg, so be prepared. Being the new guy not only means you have to show what you can accomplish to the rest of the crew and the boss but you’ve also gotta show that you are part of the team. Chances are you’re going to judged using “the new guy” equation. That’s new guy divided by how many mistakes, times how many days you’ve been there, minus any pranks you’ve survived, multiplied by the square root of what the boss thinks of the whole thing. It’s all in the math at that point. Some shops don’t condone pranks on the new guy, while other shops feel it’s a rite of passage. Make it through the first couple of weeks while making a few new friends and keeping the new guy equation to a minimum may mean there’s a good chance you’ve passed the hurdles of the new job. But that doesn’t mean pranks are over, oh no… no matter how years you’re there, if you’re the last hire… you’re still the new guy. So don’t be surprised if you come in Monday morning and find your tool box dangling from the lift by way of a roll of duct tape. So what should you do if you’re the new guy? Well, here are a few pointers that might help. Ask a lot of questions, but don’t ask a lot of questions. Keep your work area clean, but don’t clean your area so often that that’s all they think you do around there. If you’ve got to borrow a tool, clean it, wipe it down, and personally hand it back to the rightful owner. Don’t just lay it on his tool box. Concentrate on your job, and don’t be late for work. Make a good impression, but that doesn’t mean trying to date the boss’s daughter on the first day of work. Unless, that’s how you got the job, if that’s the case… you’re on your own buddy! As the new guy you’ve got a lot to do besides doing the job you were hired in for. Cars are a personal thing with a lot of people, and behind the scenes at the repair shop that personal touch of how the mechanic approaches a repair is just as personal to the shop. Each shop seems to have their own atmosphere and ways of doing things; you’ve just got to figure it all out. Oh, and don’t worry if somebody sends you off looking for an “ID-ten-T”…. they’re just messing with ya. It shows you’re starting to fit into the group, and you’re not just the new hire but becoming a part of the team. View full article

I've had this exact same thing happen many times over the years. The best I can tell is these are the type of people who believe that we mark parts up, charge diagnostics, bump labor costs because we are all so... so rich that we don't need to try and lower the cost for someone just so we can keep our bays full. These are the type of people who ... over generations of their kind, have come to the conclusion that "It ain't that difficult to fix cars and any shade tree can tackle the problem so cheap is the only way I'll get it done." My answer to them is, "I don't work for free, and I don't think asking me to do it for free shows any respect to my business or my trade.... good day to you and goodbye."

It's the parts changer shops that irk me to no end. They convince the customer that they know what they're doing and then give up and send them my way. The typical reason for sending them to me, "It's got an electrical problem." A good translation of that statement, "We don't know what's wrong with it. Take it to somebody else." But, before all of this they've got this big swelled head that they know what they're doing. I've been at this so long I've seen these type of shops come and go. But, "Old Gonzo" is still here.... gee... I wonder why? I can be a hard ass, and I can be stubborn, but one thing I won't do is tell a customer that the last guy was an idiot. I leave that up to them to decide.

I've been big, and the stress of being bigger was the key to getting small again. I can work 1 day a week or 7. Next to no stress these days. My bays stay full and I stay busy. My wife put it best, "You work the shop...don't let the shop work you!" If your goal is to make the shop into something more than the one man shop...all the power in the world to you. I prefer the one man shop and at my age I don't see me changing. I think ... if you're bold enough .... do the BIG shop. It might be just what you want. Right now, if I'm called to go to a convention, I just close the doors for a few days. Ya'd think my customers would object, actually the opposite. The more classes I attend the better I am at servicing their cars. And, they appreciate that. All in all, it's a decision you have to make for yourself. I made mine and no regrets about it. Good luck! Happy wrenchin! Gonzo

Knocking that Chip Off It seems no matter what you’re doing, where you are, or who you’re with sooner or later you’ll run across somebody with a huge chip on their shoulder. In the business of auto repair there’s quite a few. I’ve ran into my share of them over the years. Some shops operate all day with a huge chip on their shoulder. Their method of convincing a customer that they are the best is by putting down everyone else in the business. Sometimes it’s just an individual mechanic who’s got a boulder on the shoulder. You just never know, but you can certainly tell when it’s around. I can’t leave myself out, my wife reminds me about it once in a while, but I’m sure it still shows through. There are those occasions when somebody needs to knock that chip off. Sometimes it’s just what we all need, you know, a little reminder that even though we “think” we’re that good… we all still have a lot to learn. And, sometimes we all need a little reminder to tone down that chip. A few years ago a lady brought her car in from another repair shop and needed some detective work done as to why her alternator kept going out. The previous shop had definitely gone the way of most amateurs do when it comes to a car problem. “Change parts until it works.” This was no different. Five times this guy changed the alternator for this lady. Five times mind you! It still holds the record of alternator swapping in one vehicle without solving the problem that I’ve ever been witness to. The problem wasn’t the alternator at all, but this bright young lug nut of a mechanic called me to tell me that it was definitely the alternators and he wanted me to write it up that way because the parts house was making him pay for the last three. Ok, maybe one, perhaps two… but five bad alternators? Even for the cheap brands out there five bad ones in a row is a bit much. But, I’ll check it out from here. The entire problem was a blown fuse caused by the wire rubbing against the engine block. Who knows when that happened? Could have been from the first one, maybe the second alternator… we’ll never know. This Lug nut had to call me back and give me the old, “Don’t make me look stupid!” phone call. I retorted, “I’m just telling it like it is, brother.” Then there was “Mr. Fix-it”. Mr. Fix-it could fix anything as he pointed out to me just as the tow truck showed up with his vehicle on the hook. While it was being unloading, Mr. Fix-it explained in great detail just exactly what he wanted me to do, and that the only reason I was doing anything (Remember… he can fix anything) was because he didn’t have the needed tools to finish the repair. Mr. Fix-it’s weekend project was to tune it up, but after changing all the parts and I’m sure… after a few too many beers all the truck would do is buck, jerk and blow flames out of the carburetor. His reasoning for me to check the timing and adjust the carburetor was because (as he put it) “That’s how the flames are getting out of the engine.” In his haste to empty those beer cans he had put the spark plug wires on wrong. I think Mr. Fix-its chip needs a little adjustment. There are times when that chip is showing too proudly on my own shoulders too. Yep, I’ve eaten crow more than a few times and I’ve needed a little reminder that I’m not Mr. Perfect. The latest was on a 12 year old car that I put a new computer in to solve some issues with the coolant fan and A/C. After replacing the PCM the coolant fan and A/C worked great, which, not to make excuses … but I will… was all that I was concerned about. The owner was going to pick it up after hours. So with the air nice and cold I parked it outside for him to pick it up later. He lived quite a ways from the shop so it was a lot easier for him to pick it up after he got off work. The next day I get a call that his car isn’t shifting correctly and it never did that before. I suggested that he take it to the nearest transmission shop and have it checked out since he was so far away from me. The customer told the tranny guy, “I just had a new computer put it.” And, with that info, this guy proudly showed his gigantic chip on his shoulder and made it perfectly clear to the customer that he knew exactly what the problem was. With a bold and quick to judge answer he told him it was the wrong computer. Well, of course it is. What else would a guy with a big chip on his shoulder tell a customer? Because we all know the last guy who worked on the car is an idiot. (Me in this case) I told him that the PCM numbers matched from the dealer to the parts department and back again. It’s not the wrong computer. (There’s my chip on the shoulder showing up.) Looks like there are two of us with mammoth rocks on our shoulders this time. I got the car back to my shop the next day to see what was going on. Oh it was certainly the right computer, but…. It was the wrong programming in the computer. Gosh dang it! I’ll do the honors; I’ll knock that chip off of my own shoulder for ya. Yep, the tranny guy was right; it was the wrong “computer” just not in the sense that it’s the wrong computer, but wrong because it had the wrong software in it. I suppose that’s a double chip knock off, one for me and one for the tranny guy. Live and learn I guess, my bad… we were both right and wrong at the same time. Same conclusion just a different way of getting there. Finally, the most typical of situations is when the mechanic or the customer assumes they know all the answers even before they’ve had it tested. Just because you think you know doesn’t mean you’re right. Every time this happens I envision a huge chip sitting on someone’s shoulder just waiting to be knocked off. Honestly, it pays to test and diagnose before giving any kind of black and white answer to a customer or to another mechanic. Assumptions make us all look bad, and I’d prefer not to be compared to the south end of a north bound horse. Even the best of us have had to surrender our chip from time to time. Getting that chip knocked off is a humbling experience, but one that will make you a better person in the long run. We all could use a little reminder that we’re not perfect. Proud is one thing, being too sure of yourself is another. View full article

It’s All In The Name? The car, the jalopy, the family truckster, the get-a-bout, the grocery getter, and the rust bucket are just a few of the generic names we have given to our automobiles. Some names are for the affection we have with our ride, while others are for a certain condition or appendage on the car. Hollywood has even gotten into the act of naming cars and making movies about them. “Christine, Herbie, Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang, and a whole lot more. Now, I haven’t named every car or truck I’ve owned, but there have been a few memorable cars that deserved a little recognition with an appropriate name. Giving cars a name has been around for generations. Even back to the time of the horse and buggy they all had a name given to them by their owners. Just about every car make or model carries some sort of connotation or quirky acronym depicting that particular vehicle. Even the car manufacturers have to give each of their products a name. How else would you know what somebody was talking about if it didn’t? It could be a series of numbers, an acronym, or a name that just sort of goes with the style of car. What you call your car, or what the manufacturers label their car can be just as important as any other part of the car. In some aspects it could depict the reliability behind the name, or it could be what distinguishes it from another car and/or its faults. There have been a few names over the years that have that kind of reputation. The Edsel, Corvair, AMC Pacer, and so on. Just the mere mention of the name of some of these models gets you thinking about some aspect of that particular car. Then there are those production names that if taken out of context are not all that well accepted in certain company, such as the Probe, Hummer, Swinger, and the like. There are a few names that I never quite figured out how they ever decided on using them together. The Dodge Ram for example; two words that in certain contexts means to avoid… or smash into. Surely somebody at Dodge noticed that too. How about some of the spelling of these names from the manufacturers? Half the time when I’m writing up an invoice for a certain car, and I’m not sure of the correct spelling I’ll just scribble something that looks sort of like the name, and wait until I get out to the car and copy it down correctly. Look how many different spellings there are for Sequoyah for instance. Some manufacturers pick out names related to certain natural occurrences. VW for a long time named all their cars after different winds from around the world. Even more hilarious is the pronunciation of some of these car names. Come on admit it, the first time you looked at the word “Prius” you pronounced it wrong (me, too). There are some of these car names I probably still don’t pronounce correctly, and I’m sure I will always pronounce them wrong. Naming a manufactured car probably goes through a number of tightly guarded secret meetings, sketch ideas, advertising thoughts, and a whole lot of thinking before they actually place the name badge onto the car or truck. You’d think with all the resources they have at their disposal, every contingency has been covered, every angle has been looked into, and no stone is left unturned in the search for the perfect name for their next assembly line creation. You would think so wouldn’t ya? Well, sometimes somebody slips up, goofs, or forgets to check what their latest named drawing board creation means in another language. Some of these names can end up with some very embarrassing results. Here’s a few. Nova – In Spanish it reads as “no va” (two words) a loose translation means, “No go, or will not” Parisienne – In French it means, “French lady from Paris”. Fiera – In some Latin American countries “Fiera” means, “Ugly, old woman.” VW Jetta – In Italian the letter J is rarely used. Meaning that in some dialects, especially near Naples, the name is pronounced “Letta”. And that translates as “throw away”. Mitsubishi Pajero – In Spain the Pajero is sold as the Montero. (Good thing) Pajero in Spanish is a crude word for masturbation. Rolls Royce Silver Mist – Never heard of one? There’s a good reason why. Rolls Royce renamed the Silver Mist to the Silver Shadow just before any were sold. In Germany “mist” means “manure”. Mitsubishi Starion – Originally Mitsubishi wanted to call it the Stallion, keeping up with their line of cars named after horses. However when the word “Stallion” is spoken with a heavy Japanese accent it is pronounced “Starion”. Instead of sending any paper work about the official name to the factory making the name badges, it was done by phone, and yes, in Japanese of course. The name plates were manufactured and installed onto the cars before anyone spotted the error. The name literally, and figuratively, is stuck to the cars now. Pinto – When Ford decided to market the Pinto in Brazil they had to perform a hasty name change. In Brazil, the word “pinto” is the slang nickname for the male member. Toyota MR2 – Who could be offended by a name such as MR2? Well the French it would seem. When spoken, “MR2″ would be pronounced “me-re-de”, or in translation s**t. Toyota’s practical solution. Remove the “2” from the name badge for all the French marketed cars. So what’s in a name? Sounds like quite a bit. There’s a name for every car out there, some good some not so good. And, I’m sure they’ll be hundreds more movies, songs, and books written about a certain named car in the future. Whether it’s a little, bitty 3 wheeled car, or a gigantic 18 wheeler there’s a name that fits the personality of the vehicle and its owner. When it comes to our contraptions, exotic rides, or just the plain everyday around town cars… you can be sure of one thing…, you can call it anything you’d like, because it really is… all in the name. 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