Gonzo

I forgot all about how much time is spent with the old air chisel. A 2005 down here is an average car, and I'm still getting models from the 90's coming in the shop. There is definitely a difference from the north to the south.

Jeff, I purposely left out salt spray for a future article on coastal mechanic work.... So your in on the next article. ROFL.

North vs. South There’s a battle that’s been raging in the auto repair business for as long as I can remember. There’s a definite line that separates the north and south, and it’s not the Mason/Dixon line. It’s known as the “Rust Belt”. If you’re not familiar with it, well then, you must be from the far south. Any mechanic on the northern side of the rust belt knows it all too well. Rust seems to get into every area of the car, but it’s more evident underneath the car where it seldom gets washed off. Especially in an area that uses a lot of sand and salt, or a mixture containing salts and a chemical agent. Years ago in a lot of areas, they’ve outlawed studded tires because of the damage they could do to the roads, so a lot of those municipalities opted for these chemical concoctions instead. There’s less road damage from tire studs, but pot holes and car exteriors haven’t fared as well. Rusty undercarriage parts carry their own rules for repair. Such as a rusted away tie rod nut that needs removed. Rather than even trying to put a socket on one of those half deteriorated nuts, the best thing to do is holler, “Get the gas axe!” (Cutting torch), and the more winters a car survived or the further north you go, the more the ol’ gas axe is as essential as a good set of sockets. Even though trained mechanics are the same no matter where you go, there are still differences between what a mechanic north of the rust belt has to deal with vs. someone on the south side of it. The biggest difference is definitely having to deal with the rust. Rust and more rust. Once in a while I’ll get one of those northern cars that has crossed the line and is now transplanted into my neck of the woods. They are easy to spot; just put it up on the lift and you’ll know. Even though the engine compartment isn’t immune from the effects of salt degradation, it’s a lot more noticeable under the car. The amount of rusted, flaking metal, and deteriorating nuts and bolts under some of these cars is unbelievable, and some of these rusty rides aren’t that old. (At least I haven’t run across a pickup truck where the frame has rotted off between the bed and the cab to the point it separates in half when you put them on the lift! I’ve seen a few photos of these rusted through trucks. Yikes!) Since I grew up north, but moved below the rust belt line years ago, I’ve seen a lot of inventive ways people have come up with to subdue the ever encroaching rust Mother Nature has so graciously handed us. Undercoating, zinc plates, and some crazy electrical unit that is supposed to prevent rust from degrading the metal (Good luck with that one.), just to name a few. As a matter of fact some manufacturers actually offer lifetime warranties against rust on their vehicles that are equipped with their own patented rust prevention systems. Undercoating is probably the most popular. Works great, to a point. That is, until you need to replace a brake line or pull a fuel tank and that stuff is coating all the straps and bolts. (Been there-done that.) There are also many other components affected by the long cold winters and road conditions. From suspension parts to the engine, nothing is immune to Mother Nature. Back in the days when most cars were still using a single grade motor oil (I know… age check here) and you had a really cold night the engine oil would turn as thick as molasses. Needless to say, a good strong battery and a sluggish turning engine… something had to give. Most of the time the weak point was the starter bendix driver, other times the bendix was fine but the starter housing would snap. But, even in the south I’ve seen the same thing, and I have even had a few ABS reluctors get iced over and split off of a CV shaft. The further south of the rust belt you go the less snow, but more freezing rain and ice. It can coat everything with a thin layer of unyielding and impregnable ice. You can’t open a door or the hood, and whatever you do, don’t turn on the wipers. It seems like every year somebody will drop their car off with one wiper arm flopping around, while the other one scrapes across the windshield. I can’t say for sure, but I’d bet there are certain diagnostic differences when it comes to certain situations between the north and south. These changes to certain diagnostic procedures may have something to do with all the rust or the extreme cold temps. But, in the south there are just as many different diagnostic adventures as well. The biggest issue is the heat. The never ending, over 100 degree days that just destroy rubber, glass, interiors, electrical systems, radiators, etc…. Some days even in the shade it stays well over a 100. No need in worrying about freeze plugs popping out, but you might need to worry about the dash pad warping so bad it looks like ocean waves. Just try keeping an aging car’s A/C system working in 105 degree weather while in traffic, without the engine overheating. And, did I mention… it’s hot! It’s really hot! It’s not uncommon to get into a car that’s been waiting in front of the shop to reach 145 degrees or more inside it. Up north the winter season is several months long, and seems to linger on longer and longer the more you anticipate its end. In the south the winters aren’t nearly as long, but can be just as severe. Sure, they’ll still throw the sand and salt out below the rust belt, and yes they’ll plow the main roads. However, not all roads are plowed and not every municipality in the south has the same kind of inventory of equipment of a equivalent sized town would have up north. So, in most cases if there is even a warning of a potential accumulation of any amount of snow (large or small) all the schools close, businesses shut down, and all the groceries stores shelves will be cleared. You’d think it was an invasion or something if you didn’t know any better. Between the snow, ice, hot temps, pot holes, rain, lightning, floods, and everything else you can think of that Mother Nature can throw at ya, repair shops have their hands full. Battling Mother Nature on either side of the rust belt has always been a never ending job. Mechanics just have to do certain things a bit differently depending on which side of the rust belt you’re on. It’s a long battle, and I don’t think Mother Nature is going to let up any time soon. View full article

I soap test after installing anything under pressure. That includes any hydraulic lines. (just picky I guess) But, any and every A/C job has a disclaimer on it. Which states "To avoid loss of excessive amounts of refrigerant we recommend returning in two weeks (or if it stops cooling within the two weeks) for a FREE leak check. Any problems found at that time (as far as leaks) can be diagnosed and estimated for further repair." Found lots and lots of leaks that way, but... I wouldn't wait for it to stop cooling, unless it is within the two weeks. Besides, as most people do, they'll put things off until it's "convenient" by then the oil/dye has dried up and it makes it harder to spot the leak.

No matter where you are... you're there, and that's all that matters. Same stuff, just different location.

Of Mice and Men It’s another morning at the repair shop, with more cars and more problems. As always, everyone is in a rush. “How soon can you get mine in?” “How long will this take?” “I can run and get the parts for you, if it will make the repair go faster.” Yep, pretty much an average day. The plan for the day is to do exactly as my wife tells me all the time, “You can only fix one at a time, so take it one car at a time.” The basic plan every morning is to delegate the work in the shop, get parts ordered, and try to maintain some sense of dignity for the rest of the day. But, the best laid plans always seem to have some issues, and hardly a day goes by that something doesn’t try to upset the apple cart. The quote From Robert Burns' poem, “To a Mouse”, written in 1786 says it best. “The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]”. What was so true back then, is no different today. Ya never know, it might be the special ordered parts you’ve been waiting on has arrived and they’re the wrong ones, or the part that was supposed to have arrived today (as promised) isn’t going to show up until next week. If it’s not the parts, it’s the car you’re working on that has more than one issue to deal with, or it’s something to do with what the customer wants done that twists and turns the afternoon in the shop. It can be an uphill battle with no end in sight sometimes. Of course the plan is to get the job done whatever the case may be, no matter what’s involved. You know, get the RO, get the keys, read the complaint, make your initial mental judgment of the problem, and then proceed to the parking lot to drive it into the service bay. But, not every time do things go according to plan. Say, you’ve grabbed the RO and the keys and are heading to the parking lot. The work order (RO) states, “Brake lights inop.” Shouldn’t be a biggie, I’ll just pull the car into the first bay and take a look at it. I reach for the driver’s door handle and give it a couple of tugs… it’s not opening. Is it locked? OK, I’ll try the key fob …nope it’s useless… alright how about the door key? Nope, still won’t open. By now that internal time clock in my head starts ticking and the blood pressure is reaching the point where a few choice words aren’t going to help the situation. Time to march back to the front office and find out what this is all about. “Hey, that car I’m supposed to be looking at for the brake lights, did they mention to you anything about the driver’s door not opening?” “No, they didn’t say a word.” I’ve always wondered about stuff like this. How is it they can tell you in detail what they think is wrong with the car, or when the problem started, or what they were doing at the time of the failure. More than likely they’ll mention the weather conditions or the diagnostic opinion from their crazy uncle who tinkers on cars, but informing me about the driver’s door not opening? Not a chance. I guess it just slipped your mind. Perhaps I was supposed to notice it when I got out to the car. Yep, I did… great way to start a project by the way. You know you could have at least left the window down, that way I could do a “Dukes of Hazard” slide through the window. “Well, give them a call would ya? In the meantime I’m going to grab another RO.” (Another plan derailed.) Now I’m back where I started. Got another RO, get another set of keys, read another description of a problem and head out to the parking to find the car. Maybe I can get this one in the shop. Just for the record, later that day the front office found out the door on the other car is stuck, been stuck, and they crawl in from the passenger side. Now the brake lights are going to have to wait until the door is fixed so I can get under the dash on that side of the car. I guess the customer’s plans will have to be changed too; at least now I know, I’m not alone in this “mice and men” thing. Sometimes, even the best laid plans of a few adventurous DIY’rs goes awry. All I was supposed to do was figure out what was wrong with it so the owner and his buds could tackle the actual repair. The car sat at the shop for several weeks while the owner was working up the courage to even attempt the repair. (It was quite an extensive repair) Finally, the day came that the decision was made. He was going to take it home and give it a go, although between himself and his buddies, I don’t think any one of them had a clue what they were doing, and they proved that when they came to get the car. Instead of calling for a tow truck they were going to use a tow strap and a rented tow bar. After an hour or so of trying all sorts of different attachment points they thought they had it hooked up well enough to make the tow. I looked up from under the hood of the car I was working on just as they pulled out of the parking lot. Mind you, not at any gingerly speed, the guy took off with no regard for what was behind him...like...the vehicle he was towing. Within seconds I heard a huge THUD-CRASH-CRUNCH. I ran out of the shop to see their tow vehicle had turned left onto the main road while the towed vehicle went straight across the street and up over a very high curb. Oil was pouring out of the engine now, and these two guys were standing in the middle of the street wondering what to do next. Just then a large semi came down the street and was already on his horn as he slammed on his brakes. Between the two guys, myself and the semi driver we managed to push the vehicle off of the curb and back into the shop parking lot. Later, they got a real tow truck to cart off what was left of their car. The owner looked at the structural damage, the oil pan, and the original repair that needed done and decided it was too far gone now, so it was going straight to the bone yard. (So much for fixing it at home.) Having a plan is great, accomplishing the plan is far better. Although, sometimes even the best laid plans don’t work out. Ya just have to be able to go with the flow sometimes, even if it is an uphill battle or just up over the curb. I just wonder, if the mouse ever has these problems? View full article

That's an excellent way of getting through to those people who "think" we are just padding the ticket trying to make more cash off of them. Just drive down any highway, stop at any stop sign, or go through the parking lot at Walmart and you'll see some derelict still on the road. Especially where I reside (Oklahoma) where there is no state inspection. I've been called every name in the book for refusing to work on some of this crap, or as stated in another post, told the customer to tow it out or fix it here before they can drive it again. I'd rather be the Ahole than the guy who let an old lady drive a car that should have been serviced. just sayin' Oh, and Joe.... I'd settle for a penny for everyone of those types of jobs you mentioned in your post.... it adds up pretty quickly.

Brought this story back just for Joe... (originally published in 2011)

Joe Friday Diagnostics "How would Sgt. Friday explain auto repair and diagnostics… Que the music: " The story you’re about to read is true; the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Monday morning, it was cold that day. I was working day shift out of the repair division. There’s a suspicious vehicle at the front of the shop. A customer walks in the door. I’ll take it from here. I’m a mechanic, the name’s Friday. It was a 2003 Ford, 5.4 liter, fully loaded and sounded like it was running rough. The lady came to the counter. “Good Morning ma’am, what can I do for you,” I said to the complaintant. “Yes, I’m here about my car,” she answered. “There’s a problem with the car, I see. What can you tell me about it?” I asked, in my usual non-threatening, but confident monotone voice. “I was on my way to deliver my recyclables to the east side collection area, because I’m a concerned citizen you know, when my car started to make a coughing and clattering sound. I thought I would bring it in to have it checked out,” the owner answered. “Coughing and clattering, hmm, not a problem. I’ll get it investigated, I can interrogate the pursuant this morning, especially for a concerned citizen such as yourself,” I answered while maintaining my professionalism. “Well, do you need any other information from me?” she asked. “Just the facts ma’am, just the facts,” I said. “The check engine light came on,” she reported. “This could be of some help. Sounds like a possible 0300 (engine misfire). But I’ll check it out first, I’ll need to finish my investigation in order to give you any proper results,” I said to her, while my pen was busy jotting down the facts onto the always present handy notepad. She left the car with me for further interrogations. Using the scanner made the results easy to locate. It wasn’t long before I got an answer. It was a P0302 in progress… misfire on no#2 cylinder… normally an open and shut case. 09:30 Am, working on the assumption that the perpetrator was somewhere near the 2nd cylinder; I went in for further investigations. I checked the usual suspects. Pulling the plug didn’t yield any new clues. The plug was good and answered all the standard questions. The coil was a more likely suspect; a simple test could answer the problem. I’ll set up a little sting operation by using a decoy. Taking the nearest coil and replacing it with the suspected faulty coil, and put the known good coil on the other plug. I was hoping to see the miss move to the other cylinder. It didn’t. In fact it was gone. 10:05 Am, Now the challenge was on. I’ll have to go back over my facts and check the crime scene again. There’s something I must have overlooked that might be the key to this investigation. Two things come up as good possibles; the connection or terminals at the coil, or the spark plug boot attached to the coil. The plug boot had a good alibi… it had just been changed, in fact so was the spark plug. That left the coil connection. A more in-depth interrogation of the connector is needed. My years of technical diagnostics work told me to look closer at the wire and the connector. The guilty party in this case appears to be one of the wires at the connector. It was barely hanging onto the housing. Only the plastic sheath was still connected, and the wire itself was not answering to any of the standard questioning or interrogative tactics. Under the intense glow of the high powered shop light the investigation continued. Resorting to some strong arm tactics I pulled on the wire while using a few choice investigative words, the plastic sheathing kept getting longer and longer. Soon, it snapped under the pressure to expose the desperado for the perpetrator it really was. 11:45 Am, The repair was completed, and tested to verify the repairs were effective. The car in question was back with its rightful owner by the end of the day. I now can close the file on this one, another job well done. In conclusion: With the P0302 in question deleted from the computer history, the coil connector was then convicted of failure to cooperate. With her car back on the road she could once again be a productive concerned citizen of this great metropolis. Case closed and now, back to the front desk waiting for that next problem to come through the door. This city is full of broken, non-maintained, and poorly running cars. As a concerned citizen I’ll be on the lookout for these suspicious misfires and other infractions of the auto world. There are thousands of men and women in this city, who know that being an auto tech is an thankless, grease covered job that's done everyday without any fan fare. Then again, I'm part of that glamour-less, grease covered world... my names Friday, I'm a mechanic. View full article

A little side bar here. Take a poll of your phone shoppers Out of the ones that you gave a price to -- how many showed up Out of the ones you didn't give a price to -- how many showed up Out of the ones you tried to persuade into coming to your shop - - how many showed up My experience in all the categories is about 20% of the phone calls are in the persuaded section and virtually 0% from the other two sections. Your results may vary.

Chuckle, chuckle, got a good laugh over these posts. ROFL. Where am I on all this? No prices over the phone. That's where. Well, I do have to explain that. I seldom do book time work, such as brake jobs or shock R&R's, my work is generally electrical diagnostics and repair. AND, in that sense I can't tell you how much to make your brake lights work from some book time or based on what the last job took. So, there's a place for both phone prices (diag.) or no phone prices. In fact, just for fun I called my dentist and asked how much for a root canal. Now, we're old friends, we go fishing together, play golf, etc... and... even with that, he wouldn't even give me an estimate. He said, "Bring it in." Imagine that.

Today's customers (generational customers) are internet savvy, however, they are NOT technical savvy when it comes to the complexities of today's modern car. But, they are willing to go to Auto Zone for their car needs, and I believe that's from years of hearing from their older siblings and parents how expensive car repair is and/or how much they believe they've been ripped by a mechanic. Not realizing their parents probably have the same level of "expertise" in the field of automotive repair. As we all know, even a simple repair can be made difficult because of a broken bolt, poor previous maintenance practices, or some screwed up aftermarket add on device. In my position, as a shop owner/mechanic I feel it is part of my job to inform them how wrong they are about comparing AZ parts to OEM. The thought of Auto Zone giving out advice on which mechanic or which shop to go to is simply absurd. What I've noticed is most people will go to Auto Zone first, and after they've tried their alternator (for example) and it still doesn't fix their problem they head to a shop that ... usually...is found by word of mouth. AND, that's usually the last time they shop AZ, or at least until their memory fades to the point that they're willing to take another chance with one of their parts. This whole thing sounds like some CEO's gimmick to make a fast buck. Will it draw customers? YEP, sure will... maybe once, maybe once in a while. But, the trust between a mechanic/shop and the customer is something that is earned and respected...the AZ shoppers in my opinion, are only looking for cheap... not loyalty or quality.

It will never end until the "machines" rule the world. LOL

I wonder how long the demo derby can survive. The amount of cars out there that can be adapted for such an event have to be thinning out some. I can't imagine some of the "redneck" engineers ever figuring out a PCM based/theft controlled computer system to the point they could "rig" it for a demo car. Just sayin'

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines! Ever since the first automobiles came into existence, racing has been a part of the evolution of the ever improving car, and that’s no different even today. Whether it’s on an oval track, a street course, or down the quarter mile, men and their machines have rocketed down the track at high speeds to prove who was fastest or had the better car. Long before there were really any roads to speak of, manufacturers were out to prove their car could out last their competitors’ products by taking on the arduous task of a cross country trip. Some made it, and some didn’t. Car manufacturers even went as far as taking their production models and racing them on the oval tracks, which led to the old saying, “Race on Sunday, sell on Monday”. This is still somewhat true even today, the part about racing that is. Racing their creations did a lot more than just show who was faster or better, it also showed engineers ways to improve on their designs. So, we owe a lot of what we see in today’s cars to the racing world. Not long ago, NASCAR finally removed the carburetors and restrictor plates and adopted the fuel injection systems. (They held onto carburetors a lot longer than I thought they would.) Now most all racing forms have gone with injection systems, although be it slightly different in configuration than the modern production car injection systems. Even with the injection systems NASCAR, as well as many other forms of racing, each car has to conform to some very strict rules. Every car in the race is basically the same in every aspect, and are constantly checked and rechecked to make sure everyone is following the same rules, which puts almost all the burden of winning or losing to the skill of the driver and their pit crew. The better the driver and crew, the better their chances are of finding that winner’s circle. Believe me, it ain’t easy controlling all that power. It takes the skill of a highly trained driver with the nerves of steel, and a dedicated team of mechanics to accomplish it. I’ve been around a track at 150mph+ myself (that was plenty fast enough for me), and even though I didn’t scream in fear, I was definitely scared half to death as the driver came within inches of the wall going into turn three. WOW, what a ride! There’s no doubt driving in a dense pack of cars traveling at those speeds requires the utmost in precision driving. Probably a good reason we have speed limits. Not everybody has those types of skills out on the public roads, although... some “think” they do. I suppose it might be one of the reasons we are seeing an influx of the latest technology, the self-driving car. It really is incredible; a car that can not only steer itself, but can maintain a safe distance from other traffic, as well as the capability of avoiding obstacles. This new technology has come a long way in a very short time, and I believe it will be part of our driving future. Fewer accidents and traffic snarls, better fuel economy, and ... I hate say, even fewer operator skills needed. A good thing? Maybe, maybe not...time will tell. That gets me back to thinking about the racing circuit again. How exciting would it be to watch a couple of dozen self-driving cars making left turns on an oval banked track? Why even put a driver in the seat? The car doesn’t need you in there; it can do the whole thing by itself, you know, round and round… and round and round. I wouldn’t put it past some promoter to put on some sort of race like that. So where’s the skill in driving at high speeds now? Can you imagine a race with no more accidents, no more yellow caution flags, and no more drivers? Who’s going to get into the fist fight on the apron? It doesn’t sound very entertaining to me. And, can you imagine a demolition derby with GPS controlled cars that have the latest crash avoidance systems installed? Why, the cars would literally creep around the track, backing up carefully giving out their warning beeps, gingerly cruising around obstacles or just come to a complete stop while another car causally drives by in front of them. It would be like watching a parking lot attendant trying to shuffle cars. Nobody crashing into each other, no crumpled fenders, and hardly a chance of any fires or billowing smoke from under the hood. I don’t know about you, but for me, it just seems like a waste of time to even watch something like that. I suppose in the future all this technology will separate the racers from the general driver. The skill of driving will come down to just a handful of old school car collectors and those willing to strap themselves in a 1000 horsepowered four wheel rocket and head down the quarter mile. Even though in today’s time we can’t imagine every car on the road to be some sort of autonomous vehicle, I’d be foolish to say it would never happen. Probably not in my lifetime...but some day. I still don’t think the self-driving-crash-avoiding-self stopping car has any place at 200 mph on the race track… at least any time soon. It wouldn’t surprise me to see a 500 mile race with nothing but electric vehicles zipping around the oval. The sad part would be the smell and noise of those past powerful engines roaring by the grandstands will be replaced with the whiz and whine of the electric power plant under the hood. And, can you imagine what a pit stop would be like? The driver silently glides down pit lane as the crew jumps over the retaining wall with an extension cord in hand. One guy plugs the car into the wall socket, while everybody else stands around for several hours waiting for the battery to recharge. Kinda takes the fun out of being there doesn’t it? Ah, times... they are a changing; however there are just a few things about the car and racing I’d rather not see changed. Leave the driving to the skill of the driver, and the performance with the mechanics. As a car guy, I’m still hooked on the rumble of a big block engine, loud obnoxious exhaust, and the smell of nitro in the air. You can have all the self-driving autonomous cars you want, just leave the race track to us humans so we can smash, bash, and run door handle to door handle. At least for now, the race track is the one place that a lot of this technology will probably have a hard time to be incorporated. Whether it’s an electronically controlled autonomous race car or a full on electric car, racing them doesn’t have the same appeal. Even though Formula One has gone hybrid on a lot of their cars, there’s still a turbo engine that’s making a whole lot of horsepower and plenty of noise. Maybe I’m just old fashioned, but seriously, I’d hate to go to the track some day and hear the announcer say, “Gentlemen, start your engines!” …. and, the only sound you hear … is nothing at all. View full article

Hmm, let me think a bit... let's say you change it from "mechanic" to "doctor" and change the problem to something medical, then reread the whole thing again. Do you think the same thing happens in the physicians field? I'm sure it does. And, YES, there are a few arrogant doctors too. But allowing a customer in your shop is a futile effort of being nice. IT most certainly will back fire. The customer on the other hand, seems to be one of those type that doesn't trust any mechanics. Right there IS the red flag. Not to say you would've caught their actions at first glance but I'm sure there were a few signs that might have indicated it. And... if I read another sentence that starts with "anyways" I'm going to puke. They really deserve each other, because neither one of them (in my book) are worth the effort.

http://remarkableresults.biz/e033/#sthash.baIYmvNe.dpbs

As with fishing, if you don't throw the bait ya can't catch a thing. And, yes... sometimes you've got the right bait, and it might be the right time to fish, but a lot of times it just doesn't matter. If you throw too many hooks out, the lines get tangled, and you still end up with nothing. My old saying, "Move like a tortoise...rather than the rabbit.... the tortoise will win in the end. Besides, they live a long time." A slow a steady pace in business will win over the occasional poor fishing. Just keep baiting the hook and tossing it out there.

Already have a story based on Dragnet. Lol

Either way, if they tell you way too much (TMI) or too little, I'm only going to get the facts once in a while.