Gonzo

Ode to Santa and the Economy There goes Santa, running for his sleigh; He’s gotta run fast, to get away. You see, the economy has struck the North Pole as well; The elves are on strike, and his wife is givin' em' hell. These days when Santa appears at the local department store; It’s not just for fun or photos, but for gifts he needs to score. He'll check the store layout and make a quick dash; Why even Santa max'd out his credit card and is low on cash. So off he goes, into the night; To find those gifts, and get out of sight. Now, he’s not going to make a whole lot of stops; ‘Cause look out Santa… here comes the cops. Santa leaps to his sleigh and flys far into the night; Carrying all those gifts, on his yearly flight. Way into the morning, the police search high and low; Only to find a few tracks left in the snow. You'll hear all the alarms blaring, late into the night; But old Saint Nick will be long gone, and clean out of sight. Santa has to be quick, to have it done by Christmas Eve; So many gifts, and so many places to be… The presents will be wrapped, and the tags will be off; Cause old Santa is very careful, not to get caught. So check your presents, early on Christmas day; (Keep it hush-hush if they're from Santa, OK...?) Now, I don’t know if Old Saint Nick, stopped at your house or not; But If he did … … … … … .....THOSE GIFTS ARE . . . HOT ! ! View full article

Twas the Night before Christmas (Mechanic style) Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the service bay, Not an engine was stirring, just old Santa’s sleigh. All the air hoses were hung, by the compressor with care, The mechanics had the day off, I’m the only one there. I was just an apprentice, but wanted to show St. Nick just what I knew, My boss was all for it, said it was OK if I turned a few screws. With visions of being a full time mechanic, dancing in my head I was going to give it my best shot; I’ll fix this old sled. I gave the key a twist,and listened in dismay, That little red hot rod needed service, in such a bad way Then from under the hood there arose such a clatter, That even St. Nick had to ask, “So, what’s the matter?” I flew from the driver’s seat and raised the hood in a flash, Nearly stumbling off my feet, from my quick little dash. The under hood light, glimmered onto the engine below, The fan belt had broken, and a spark plug blew out a hole. It’s something I can handle; I learned this stuff in school, I’ll have this fixed up in no time; it only takes a few tools, I started it up and all eight cylinders were firing away Just a few minor adjustments and he could be on his way That’s when I noticed, his sled was packed full of all sorts of toys… He hadn’t finished his deliveries, to all the girls… and boys. He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot Anxious he was, to finish his trip as soon as he could, With my wrenches a flyin’, he knew that he would. It was up to me, to get it fixed this very night, He still had a long way to go, before it was daylight. His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. I knew it was Christmas Eve, so I couldn’t say no, He had a broad face and a round little belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. His sled was like new, after the job was all done, Now that it’s fixed, he could get back to his run. He reached into his huge bag, and pulled a box out with a jerk, Said he knew just how to thank me, for all of my hard work, I ripped open the present, and Oh, what a sight! Snap On wrenches and sockets! Boy was he right! As he pulled from the parking lot, he held the throttle to the floor, Just to show off, he passed by the shop, once more, This guy Santa, he’s a little strange, at any rate, He had a name for every cylinder, in his little V8. I could hear him shout, so loud and clear, Naming off each cylinder, as if they could hear. "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen! I heard the tires screech, as he caught second gear, Off to deliver those presents, some far, some near. Then, I heard him exclaim, just before he drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” View full article

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I knew it, I knew it... I knew it. I didn't think I was the only one who ever had somebody wanting me to test drive a car at some outrageous speed. But, I did have one guy who said he kept hitting his head on the roof when he would go over this bump real fast. I told him to wear his seat belt and perhaps slow down, or I could cut a whole in the roof and let his head stick through... choose an option.

Seen both. Most common is a stiff pedal, but I've seen the pedal just fall to the floor and after much head scratching I ended up changing out the booster which solved the problem. I guess after 30 years of this stuff, ya kind a see a few variations ... LOL

Chances are it's NOT the MC, mainly because hydraulics don't care about speed. You have to ask yourself..."What's different at speed than standing still?" My first thought, engine speed, thus.... vacuum. I'll bet it's a booster problem.

Talk about funny. I got an email from an all girls rock group out of England (I think) that wants to use my version of the 12 days in their line up of songs. These gals play nothing but car related songs. Too cool. The band's name is "Red Ruff".

I'll shut down early on Christmas eve... if it's slow. Closed Christmas day and New years day. However, if it plays out like it has almost every year, the week between Christmas and New years day has always been one of the busiest weeks. Almost all the jobs are stereo related from good ol' dad or grandpa trying to install one. Happens every year.

Merry Christmas everyone!

12 Days of Christmas at an Automotive Repair Shop You know the song, so just sing along with me in the holiday spirit. On the 1st day of Christmas a customer sent to me: A cartridge for my grease gun. On the 2nd day Christmas a customer sent to me: 2 Latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 3rd day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 3 Wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 4th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 4 Wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 5th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 5 Piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 6th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 6 Brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 7th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 7 Dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 8th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 8 Engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 9th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 9 Coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 10th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 10 Headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 11th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 11 Gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 12th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 12 Trannys slipping, 11 gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. Speaking on behalf of the entire automotive repair industry, Thank you to all our customers for their patronage. We appreciate it. Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. View full article

The last thing I lost was one of those high dollar flashlights. Maybe I'll get lucky and the car will come back a year later with it still in it. LOL

Lost and Found How many times have you finished a job, watched the car drive off, and then started cleaning up your tools only to realize you’ve misplaced something? You’re pretty sure, but not completely sure the missing tool is under the hood or in the interior of the car that just drove off. If you’re lucky, you can call the customer and ask if they’ve found your missing tool. But, there are those occasions when a phone call or a complete search of the shop doesn’t yield any sign of the wandering tool. For the most part you can put that tool down as gone for good, lost to that place where wayward nuts, bolts, tools, and my arrant golf ball shots always end up. Yea, we all know that place, the “Lost and never to be found again!” place. It’s not the only way I’ve lost tools in cars. There’s been many times some tool has gotten lodged in a hopeless retrieval area of the car. Like down between the fender and body line, or in some obscure area that would take hours just to get close enough to even see it again, let alone get it back. Once, while I was working under an old car the socket I was using popped off of the extension, and I watched it rattle around while banging off of one thing after another. It was spinning like a top by the time it made it to the flat surface of the center cross member where it then stood straight up, spun some more, and then like some cartoon character it vanished into a hole. The hole was not more than a thousandth of an inch bigger than the socket, but somehow it managed to fall so perfectly that it dropped straight in. And, of course, there was absolutely no way to get a magnet back down the hole because the oil pan was in the way, and no way to use an air nozzle to blow it to either end of the cross member, because both ends were welded shut. I never did get that socket back. So much for using a good socket on a cheap extension. I’ve lost track of how much time I’ve wasted chasing down these elusive tools that like to play hide and seek. Not to mention the spattering of profanity that I’m sure to mutter while I’m trying to get an eyeball on some of these tools I’ve dropped down into unknown cavities of irretrievability. But, if you do get a glimpse of the stupid little gadget you dropped then it’s like playing the old “Operation” game to get the thing back out. I’ll use just about anything, including the extendable magnet wand or my long mechanic’s finger tool to slowly draw that &*$!* runaway tool back through the maze of hoses, wires, and other assorted engine parts. Sometimes, it’s just a sound the nut, bolt, or tool makes while it’s playing pinball and falls through the engine bay or behind the dash that gets you rolling your eyeballs in dismay. Now, everything else about the job has to come to a complete halt, while you go on the old tool safari to find it. Tools are too expensive to leave them to fend for themselves behind the dash or tucked in a corner of the engine bay. At the end of the day, they need to be with their other brothers and sisters in the tool box. Besides, the tool truck won’t be back until next week and that particular socket might have been the only one that would fit into the area of the car you were working on. On the other hand, how many times have you found a tool that some other poor soul couldn’t find after dropping it down in the engine? I’ve found wrenches stuck between the exhaust manifold and the engine block and assorted sockets laying in the intake valley. Sometimes I wonder how some of these misplaced tools end up in such bizarre places. I mean seriously, what did ya need with a 4 foot pry bar behind the dash? And, how did you get it there? I’ve found everything from cheap sockets to expensive micrometers buried in the depths of a car before. The thing is, if it wasn’t for doing some service work in that area of the car you’d probably never know there was a brand new socket hiding. Flashlights are a commonly misplaced tool. Many years ago, when my dad helped out at the shop, he would use a flashlight for practically everything. This particular afternoon he was installing a new window motor. Being Dad, he was very meticulous as always. Every snap, clip, and screw had to be put back in its exact spot. Every tool was carefully laid out on a towel on his work table and accounted for after the job was done. He was also one who took great pride in keeping track of every tool; he never lost a tool. Well, at least that’s what he used to tell me. But, that day the one thing he forgot to account for was his flashlight. The car was long gone and all his hand tools were back in place in his tool box before he realized he couldn’t find his flashlight. Since he had this reputation for surviving the loss of any type of tool, he wasn’t about to mention a thing to me about it. A year later the same customer came back for some other repair work, and while he was there he asked my dad, “Oh, and if ya got a minute could ya look at that driver’s door for me? Every now and then I hear a rattle in there.” Of course, good old Dad was more than happy to oblige his friend and customer. And, of course, after all this time he had totally forgotten about his missing flashlight... which he still hadn’t mentioned to me. After removing the door panel, he found the rattle alright. It was his flashlight and the switch was still on. Needless to say, his reputation for not losing a tool was still intact. Lucky guy. I seldom get that lucky; usually when I lose a tool it’s gone for good. Sometimes I will occasionally find a tool that somebody else will lose under the hood. It kinda-sorta evens things out a bit. Ya never know where a lost tool will show up. For instance, every once in a while I’ll be on a road call to rescue a stranded customer, and as I walk up to their car I’ll keep my eye out on the side of the road for anything shiny, such as a wrench or screwdriver. Occasionally I’ll find one. Hey, I know how they got there. It didn’t fall off of a tool truck, nope... it’s a lost tool from someone else’s repair. I’ll accept that in exchange for the last tool that I lost. Maybe one of these days I’ll get ahead of the curve and collect more than I lose. Just wish more people would lose the good stuff rather than those cheap overseas tools I seem to find most often. Lose one-find one, it happens. View full article

Nailed IT!

Not to make matters worse, but... along with the lack of cash to fix their cars a lot of the "GP" out there have next to no understanding of the complexities of their cars. It used to be those folks that couldn't afford professional service on their car could go down to the cheapo parts store and swap parts until they got it or gave up on the car and put it up on blocks in the front yard. These days, well... we all know how swapping parts can get ya in trouble. So, .... now all those that used to go to the salvage yard or to the parts store for a PCM, HVAC control head, etc... have to resort to going to the pro shop for service and are NOT happy to pay for said service. I guess you could say we are in a transitional state of time when there will be less parts swappers and more work at the shops. But, somebody will have to do something first.... like GET A JOB so they can pay for car repair.