Gonzo

Had one come in the other day for a battery but wouldn't buy the Interstate I had in stock. Why.... because it was the wrong color. Their battery was white and black not green and white. I was told I should find a new job because I obviously didn't know my job very well. chuckle...chuckle... I held the door open so they could leave.

It's 1-555-doi-tcheap

One other point. ASO is not only educational but it's also a stress relief. So many times in this biz we all get to a point thinking we are the only one ever to have experienced a problem. Here, we're among common issues and common circumstances. A tip of the hat to all. Thanks for being here Joe.

I'll bet all those type of people are looking for Sum Guy. LOL

Jack read the article... says that I'm a bigger Ahole than he is. LOL... I told him, "Takes one to know one!" He agreed. ROFL

Sharing thoughts and ideas is just what this website is all about. Glad to be a part of it.

Mechanically Confidential Are there things mechanics keep to themselves and not let other mechanics know about them? I hope not, but I’m sure even doctors and lawyers have a few secrets they’re not sharing with each other. The big secret is there really are no secrets. What it really comes down to is knowledge. Every good mechanic has a few things they won’t forget about for a certain car or procedure. Especially one of those problems where the amount of time spent on the job far exceeds what the boss is willing to collect on it. But, by far there are more things you’ve completely forgotten about, because you don’t see that type of engine anymore, or it’s something you’ve never encountered before. That’s where a bit of extra help from a fellow mechanic comes in handy. I have a lot of friends in the business who call me, or I call them when I’m stuck on some weird problem. Sometimes, neither one of us can actually help each other out, but we may in fact trigger a thought or memory that will. Sadly however, it never fails somewhere in this crazy world of auto repair there are those who feel it is necessary to slam the next guy for not knowing something, call the other technician an idiot in front of the customer, and so on. These few are the type who won’t help their fellow mechanic in any shape or form. Whether or not it’s a guy in the next bay, or from another shop. I’m not sure if it’s because of an ego thing, or self-preservation in fear the competition is getting the next job. It’s a poor practice at any rate, and I’ve witnessed firsthand egotistical mechanics more than once. Let’s face it, nobody knows it all and I’m the first one to admit it. That’s why I reach out and find help from another tech. Sometimes it’s because you just can’t make out the diagnostics, or it could be you don’t have the right tool for the job. Whatever the reason, there’s no harm in finding a source for that knowledge you don’t have. This time around it was a 25+ year old Beemer with a battery drain that I reluctantly took on. European cars are not my specialty, but I managed to chase down the problem to the central module. To my surprise the dealership still carried the replacement part. Now all I had to do was install it, but plugging it in was only half the battle. It needs to be coded. That’s something my scanners wouldn’t accomplish. It’s time to make that phone call to my buddy in the European repair biz. Now, Jack is a really sharp BMW tech at a very well-known independent European repair shop in town. Jack doesn’t warm up to just anybody. He’s been around as long as I have, and he’s seen the “wanna-be” techs and the slap it together shops come and go just like I have. To say the least, he’s a bit picky as to who he’ll help out. Ya can’t blame the guy, I know exactly how he feels. I called him up and asked if he could slip me in and code this car for me. “Not a problem,” he said, “Just pull up to the service bay and honk the horn.” Of course, in his shop he’s the king, and I’m just the lowly delivery boy bringing the car into the service bay. Naturally, I had to endure the “Wrath of Jack” as he coded the module for me. Today’s lecture was about coding. “Now coding isn’t programming, and coding isn’t flashing, it’s coding. You understand?” Jake tells me in his usual stern manner. I nodded my head in agreement as he went on to tell me why BMW uses a coding system for their various modules as well as programming. I sort of already knew all that, because I read it in the repair manual when I was researching the repair procedure, but you’re in his shop. Let him tell you anyway; it’s best to listen intently and look interested. Before long the car was ready for me to head back to my little shop and finish up the job. Jack’s a great guy, and any time I can help him out I certainly will. Of course, he’ll have to sit through the “Wrath of Gonzo” when he comes to my shop. (Gotta return the favor, ya know) Thanks for your help Jack, it's my turn next. Working together to solve an issue and sharing information is important for not only the customer, but for both technicians as well as both businesses. This is an information world we live in these days, and sharing that information is all part of it. Some will say, “Don’t tell the DIY’r how to do it!” I say, tell him! If that person is capable of handling the repair, so be it! I’m no carpenter or plumber, but I’m sure going to give it a try if it’s something I feel confident enough to tackle myself. Hey, if I mess it up I’m sure the “Wrath of the Plumber” will be the next information highway I’ll be on. But, we all know, there are some things you can explain, read about, or watch on YouTube that even though it seems fairly easy, it turns out to be a whole lot harder when you try it yourself. Whether it’s through training classes, videos, books, schools, or another mechanic, knowing something new starts with learning something new. I learn something new practically every day, and I feel it’s all part of doing a job to help the other guy. There’s always more to learn, more to share, and more than enough to do. It’s no secret that it takes more than a box of tools to fix today’s cars. It takes friends in the right places. Make some new friends and spread the knowledge around. Automotive knowledge was never meant to be … “mechanically confidential”. View full article

It's like the consumer has been told by somebody that it's warranty first-quality second. They hear "lifetime" warranty and it's cheaper... you're done. No matter what the tech says. I've lost work and probably pissed a few off over the years but, I'm not lowering my standards just to get the work... I guarantee.

That guy! ! Again! Man, he won't go away! ROFL Thanx Jeff.

Lifetime Warranties There are warranties, and then there are lifetime warranties. Some people won’t buy anything, unless it has a substantial warranty attached to it. My dad was one of those guys. It didn’t matter what it was as long as he could get a warranty with it. He would be as proud as a peacock when he got the chance to use one of those warranties. But, for me, it could be rather embarrassing. Especially for a ten year old kid carrying a broken toilet seat into the hardware store where dad had bought it with a lifetime warranty years earlier. I can still picture it today, dad with his big grin on his mug, marching up to the return counter with his ancient receipt showing the date, the store manager’s name and of course, the warranty. While I’m cowering behind him carrying the broken toilet seat in shame. I did my best to hide my face the whole time, in fear one of my classmates might spot me with the family throne in tow. Warranties have their place, that’s for sure. However, a decade or so ago when all these large franchised discount auto parts stores started to monopolize the market by offering lifetime warranties on their parts that I’ve noticed a problem. Now, it seems every consumer wants every part for every car to come with a lifetime warranty. It’s not that I think any of the major players in the automotive parts business couldn’t offer a lifetime warranty, but why should they? From my past experiences the failure rate of a quality part is far less than those discount parts with lifetime warranties. But, the average DIY’r doesn’t see it that way. They are still going to go with the cheaper-discount part when cost is an issue, and since it comes with a lifetime warranty that’s all the better. In my opinion these lifetime warranties should come with a disclaimer, “You’ll be changing it for the rest of your life. Because the replacement for the replacement part is just as cheaply made as the first one.” When I hear someone tell me they changed an alternator five times in a row, because the one they put in stopped working again, I have to wonder is the problem the part or is it the diagnosis? Sometimes, it’s both. Other times, it’s a lack of knowing how the systems operates. Of course, after changing it so many times they’ve got the physical side of removing the bolts or a belt down pretty good. And, I’ll bet they can probably change it out a lot faster than I can. Since their labor is free, it’s a no brainer… go ahead and change it again…and again…and again. A perfect example of this was the guy who did just as I described; he changed his alternator five times in a row, and every time it would last a week or so. By the time he had enough with the cheap parts he finally asked for a better quality part one. But, a week later it was back to not charging again. This time the counter person had to tell him, “This one doesn’t carry the lifetime warranty.” And now… it’s my turn. The whole problem turned out to be a melted connection at the voltage regulator plug. Every time he would reconnect it to the alternator it would last a week or so, before the connector worked loose again. When I told him what it was he was not only shocked, but made the same comment they all make when they’re paying their bill. “I should have just brought it here in the first place.” Hmm, imagine that. The real question is whether or not any of the replaced alternators were ever bad at all. I can’t answer that with any honesty, because all I had in front of me was a name brand part that was working just fine with the connector repaired. HID headlights are another common repair these days. Sometimes they can be rather expensive and time consuming to repair. The failures seem to run in groups, you know, several at a time with the same sort of problems. They all have the same odd aftermarket bulb or ballast installed. (I think the part goes on sale on the internet and then they all jump at a chance to buy them.) They’re definitely not factory parts, but some cheaply made offshore find. The car will come in with the usual complaints that one headlamp or one beam isn’t working, and they already replaced all this stuff. (Ballast, bulbs, etc…) So, I’m supposed to find some sort of electrical gremlin that’s knocking them out. When the entire time, and every time (so far) it’s faulty parts that have caused the issue. Well, of course it can’t be the part. Why, it has a lifetime warranty on it. Don’t ya know I’ve heard that a few times? Somehow the cost difference between factory original parts, and the aftermarket sideshow parts doesn’t ring a bell as to which ones might be a bit better. Oh, I got it. The difference between the two was that “lifetime” warranty. One has it and the other doesn’t. So, which one do you think carries the lifetime warranty? You guessed it. SOLD! Sold ya right down the river more like it. Needless to say, most of the time the customer doesn’t want to go with the factory parts; they’d rather take their chances with another lifetime warranty from parts unknown. I’ll bet you can probably guess by now, I’m not all that impressed with a lifetime warranty as a selling point. Or, for that matter changing out one lifetime warranty part with another lifetime warranty part unless it’s properly stated on the invoice and known by the customer that I take absolutely no responsibility for their components. I only guarantee the installation and diagnostic work. How long that part lasts is up to your driving habits and your lifetime warranty. Maybe I’m just a little one sided in all of this. Maybe I should give these lifetime warranty parts a better recommendation. That’s hard to do, considering the failure rates I’ve seen from them over the years. Mind you, they’re not built like a 60’s toilet seat that finally broke after decades of use with a house full of kids. Back then a lifetime warranty was generally only offered with the better made parts. The manufacturers did it to say, “We’re proud of our product!” It wasn’t just to make a quick sale and a fast buck. View full article

Happy wrenchin' SO-Cal! Nice to see a new shop starting up! Welcome!

I've had this happen several times over the 3 decades I've been standing behind the counter. Here are some of the ways...and the results of my actions. Your results may vary. 1/ "Sorry Mr/Mrs Customer, but what I pay for the part is no business of yours. I gave you the price of the part when I called you with the estimate. You authorized the repair and the parts. The price I charged you is your price for the part. Just like a grocery store... I don't sell you the milk for what I paid for it. Results - Never seen the guy again. 2/ "I'd be happy to tell you which dealership parts department I purchased it at. You can ask them if the price I chargedyou is correct."(I don't mark up any higher than over counter price for dealer parts). Results - They called AND then had the nerve to use my name to get my discount for the next part they needed. Which they brought to MY shop to have ME install it. Note: no warranty on customer supplied parts even if they bought them from the dealer. 3/ "Sir, If you managed to find a cheaper price on the internet that's great. However, I do not have the time or the man power to spend the hours needed to do the searching for a possible cheaper part. Even if I did, I'd still mark it up." Results - Customer said, "Well, from now on I'll buy my own parts no matter how long it takes for me to find the cheapest one. Because you "guys" (speaking of the entire automotive repair industry as a whole) are nothing but rip offs. Results of the results - "Sir, don't ever come back here...EVER! You will not be welcomed at our establishment again. We do quality work with quality parts and nobody is going to bad mouth me or anyone else in this business based on the price of a part. Now take your car and get out!"

My favorite line to use when I'm confronted with an unruly person at the service counter. "I'd love to help you out. Which door did you come in from?"

Inspiration is every where. I never know where a new story idea will come from. This one started after my wife reminded me about our "corn" car after she forgot that the corn bread was in the oven. The smell reminded her of the trip. too funny

Hazards of the Road Pot holes, rough railroad crossings, and uneven pavement are just a few of the hazards of the road that can send you to the repair shop. They can tear up the undercarriage, bend suspension parts, and ruin components. Not to mention the damage to the rims and tires or the front end alignment. We all know how it happens, those things just seem to dart out in front of you with no warning. There you are zooming down the road sipping your morning coffee when all of a sudden you hit one of those car-swallowing pot holes. The coffee flies everywhere, and then your steering wheel starts shaking back and forth. It’s time to make a call to the repair shop. Undercarriage and suspension damage from pot holes is fairly common. But, there are those occasions when an unwanted passenger hitches a ride underneath the car, too. Ah yes, those bits and pieces of a darting squirrel or road debris that get lodged in the under carriage from time to time. Sometimes you swerve or slam on the brakes, or you might try honking the horn or flash your brights at it. But, due to road conditions, visibility, speed, the weather, or that extra sip of coffee while changing the radio station makes hitting it unavoidable, and now you’ve acquired a new passenger under your car. And, who gets to remove what’s left? Your local mechanic, that’s who. The diversity in these sudden hitchhikers are endless. I’ve seen everything from an aluminum ladder to road kill. Plastic bags and construction debris are probably the most common stuff I run across. In fact, a few years ago a Jeep rolled in with a differential leak that turned out to be a large garbage bag wedged into the rear seal. It was so impacted in there it actually popped the seal out of the housing. It must have made one heck of a noise as it wrapped tighter and tighter around the drive shaft. I’m sure a lot of mechanics have seen worse than I have, especially the body shop techs. But I don’t recall any mechanics or body shop tech classes ever going over road debris or squirrel removal. Even if it was a class I missed, I don’t think you could explain the diagnostics to a customer as to how a spare tire flying out of a pickup had just the right angle, and just the right momentum to crack the crank sensor in two pieces, but didn’t do any other damage under the their truck. (Trying to involve their insurance company on that one.) Yeah, it really did happen to an old Ford truck that came in my shop. I’m not immune to road debris either. I’ve collected my fair share of screws, glass, cardboard boxes, and hitchhiking varmints. The most memorable one was back when my wife and I first got married. We made the long trip to her home town in Nebraska in the middle of one of the worst winters in memory. One morning we decided to drive around town and see what had changed since the last time we were up there. It’s a really small town set amidst miles of corn fields, no grocery store, one gas station, two churches, and three bars. (Priorities ya know) The big excitement in town this winter was the stock pile of corn that was at the Co-op at the train depot. For one reason or another they couldn’t load the grain into the silos. Maybe the conveyor was frozen or the silos were full. I never asked why, besides it was 35 below zero out there, and I wasn’t about to get out of the warm car and ask. Since there wasn’t anywhere else to put all this corn, they just piled it up right there in the middle of the street. It stretched from side walk to side walk and was higher than the telephone poles. We couldn’t turn around, or back up because there were even more gawkers checking out this huge pile of corn behind us. Instead, we followed the tracks on the edge of the pile from the previous car. As we carefully negotiated over part of the curb and part of the mound of corn (as gingerly as possible) the icy crust of snow on this massive pile of corn gave way and shifted the whole thing just as we went through. A day or so later, we both caught a whiff a foul odor emanating from the bottom our car. It had the unmistakable smell of burnt corn bread. It seems we didn’t clear that pile of corn all that well, because the catalytic converter shield scooped up a bunch of the corn and some of the snow and turned the converter shield into a mini skillet. It took me hours of lying under the car (in the freezing cold) with what tools I had to clean most of it off. Then I took our family corn machine to the nearest town that still had a car wash open, trying to wash out the kernels faster than the water spray could froze. The smell of the burnt corn lingered for weeks afterwards despite several car washes. Cooked corn, yea that was a mess but, it doesn’t compare to some of the other things I’ve removed. Such as mangled deer, mice, rabbits, or worse yet… a skunk. I’m not real squeamish when it comes to the blood and guts part of it but, the stench… oh the smell. Years ago after one of my “de-skunking” episodes my uniform guy told me he would rather I just throw those shop rags away instead of turning them back in. Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to a customer’s car which has just hit a pot hole or ran over something and their car needs my attention. Anymore, I don’t get all that excited when I find something like a sneaker jammed inside the right front tire rim and it has somehow ripped the ABS sensor wires completely off. I just smile, change out the sensor, and remove the shoe. I’ll add it to the pile of stuff I show the customer after the repair is completed. Needless to say, ya do get a few quirky looks at the counter from time to time. Often times they can’t remember running over something. But, it is what it is… just another day at the shop dealing with hazards of the road. View full article

I read where the statistics on the amount of crashes between driverless cars and non-driverless cars amounted to 1 more crash (percentage wize) difference. (Human crashes was the higher number) The BIG difference was that ALL the crashes were a result of human error and not computer malfunctions. I thought that was a rather interesting study. I still wouldn't buy one. LOL

For some of the older salter dogs, yes... I'm rerunning this story from a few years ago. New stories on the way.

What’s on Second Gonzo 2010 My office manager is also my oldest daughter Katie, a bright, pretty gal with a quick wit and long beautiful red hair. Naturally, Katie gets all the phone calls and front office issues. She does a great job, and makes everything feel like a day at the ball park. Sometimes I wonder if she shouldn’t be a comedian, or even have her own vaudeville act. She cracks me up with some of her responses to those wacky phone calls we all tend to receive at the repair shop. On one occasion I happened to be in the office, and listened in on a conversation she was having with a prospective customer. The way she handled it was remarkable. With the phone on speaker I couldn’t help but hear the entire conversation. By the end of the phone call I was laughing so hard that I nearly forgot I was only supposed to be listening and to keep quiet. I did, but managed to have a big smile on my face for the rest of the day. The phone call went something like this; “Good morning, this is Katie, may I help you?” “Yes, I had my car over at the transmission shop, and they recommended you guys,” the caller said. “Ok, great, is it a shifting problem?” she asked. “No, it’s an electrical problem.” “We certainly do that kind of work. When would you like to bring it in and have it diagnosed?” “No, I already had it diagnosed at the other shop.” “They did, did they? Did they tell you what the problem was?” “No, they didn’t know what was wrong with it. That’s why they sent me to you.” About now Katie is getting the raised eyebrow look going, and her pen is scribbling some sort of gibberish on the note pad. Something is up. I can tell you know… I’ve answered phone calls like this myself. Let’s see how Katie handles this … I’ll listen in a little more. “So did they give you any clues to what the problem was?” she asked curiously. “They said they didn’t know.” “Well that doesn’t help either one of us… let’s start this all over again. It sounds to me like the other shop checked it out, and determined that it was something they couldn’t handle and recommended us. Their best guess was that it was something electrical. Then they gave you our phone number, and told you we could take care of it. Am I pretty close to what’s going on sir?” Katie asked. “Quite right” “Ok, let’s see if we can knock one out of the old ball park. First off… the transmission shop sent you to … … … who?” “To you…” “Great we’ve made it to first base. Now then, let’s head to 2nd base… that’s where we figure out the “what’s wrong with it” part.” He quickly interrupted her… “Nope, already did that.” “Well, what’s wrong with it then?” Katie asked. “I don’t know, and they couldn’t tell me either,” the caller said. “Sir, somehow we have made it all the way to third base, and haven’t touched second at all,” she answers. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at,” the bewildered caller said. “Let’s try this again,” Katie goes on with, “We have established that the “who” part of this is to bring the car here. As of now we have a good foot hold on first base… the second thing is the “what” part, and that’s where we are having a problem… the “I don’t know” part can be answered once we have it diagnosed. “I already had it diagnosed.” “Ok, then “what’s” wrong with it?” “I don’t know.” (Here we go again, passed 2nd and slid into 3rd) “Naturally,” Katie answers him with that -I’m not going thru this again- look on her face, “They didn’t know… that’s why you’re talking to me.” “I don’t think you understand,” he answers her. “Oh, I understand perfectly well, sir. I don’t think you understand that I can’t repair it, unless I know what is wrong with it,” she answers back, “This is why I wanted to start you off with “who’s” on first… which is me.” “But, I just told you… they diagnosed it already.” “Who did?” “Not you…………, they did.” “What did they tell you was wrong with it?” “I don’t know……………,” our caller answered while making another beeline for 3rd base. “Sir, we will need to diagnose it all over again in order to find out “what” is wrong with it… and hopefully avoid that 3rd base.” “What 3rd base?” “What is the 2nd base, I don’t know is 3rd,” Katie answered him. “So, we need to stay on what?” asks the caller. “Yes, second base.” “Who’s on 1st?” “Naturally, I’m on first base. I thought we already got past that point. We need to move onto 2nd base.” “Second base, will that fix my car?” “I don’t know”, said Katie. “So are we on 2nd or 3rd now?” the caller asked. “Sir, I’m still on 1st base where we started. Now let’s try 2nd again. I still need to get it diagnosed… that’s second base,” Katie answered. “I already had it diagnosed,” stated the caller. “And what did they find out?” “I don’t know… … … 3rd base,” they both answered in unison without missing a beat. The phone call went on for some time. I’m about to fall off the barstool laughing so hard. We all know what the problem is. It’s not the what, who, or I don’t know… it’s because he has already paid someone to check his car out, and they failed to find the problem. So “naturally”, the customer assumes that there is no need in paying for the same thing a second time, if nothing came about it the first time around. (Try that when you go to a second doctor for another opinion) I understand their plight. I just wish when he got up to bat at the first shop they would have done a better job of explaining to him about the necessary procedures to make these repairs. Then again the charges the customer was given might have been for other work, and not for any diagnostics at all…..but that never made it into the conversation. The call ended with, “I can’t bring it today, but I can bring it in tomorrow.” What a relief, “Because”- (he’s in the outfield)… today is the day to catch wacky phone calls, and I’ve caught all the foul balls I can stand for one day. I just hope “Tomorrow” doesn’t end up throwing me any wild pitches. So no matter how you handle things in the office or in the shop… sometimes you just want to make it around the bases without getting tagged. And there’s one more thing I’m sure of -- I don’t want to end up with the customer only making a “short stop” in my shop, because we haven’t seen eye to eye on how the problem needs to be resolved… Cause, we all know that short stop’s name…… View full article