Gonzo

Save a dime, spend a dollar There’s trend in “out of shop” repairs I’m seeing more and more of these days. It’s been going on since the very first cars hit the open road, but because of the technical advancements and procedural changes there seems to be a lot more cars that aren’t getting repaired properly than ever before. It seems to have more to do with cost than with a general lack of maintenance, and because of the technical and repair procedure changes fewer DIY’rs are adequately prepared to take on those repairs. So, to save their cash they opt for a side line repair rather than a professional shop. Of course, they might have saved a dime by going “rogue” on the repair, but there’s a good chance they’ll have to spend a dollar just to undo the damage done by these back alley repair hacks. Take the guy who needed a heater core, but didn’t want to pay the professional shop that diagnosed the problem. What he wanted was a cheaper alternative. The next day while at work, he casually mentioned his predicament to a co-worker. The co-worker said he knew a guy who knew of a guy who has a friend of a friend that’s a really good mechanic and would even come to your house and fix it. So, the guy called this traveling tool box connoisseur and a deal was struck up that he would be over by the weekend to change it out, as long as he had the new part waiting for him. About half way through the repair the “friend of a friend mechanic” found himself with connections and parts he had never seen before. He then tried to start the car only to find out it wouldn’t. Of course, the wiry mechanic friend had neither a clue, nor an educated guess as to what was wrong. All he had to his credit was a vague knowledge of how to remove a couple of bolts and screws and hopefully not to leave a pile of miscellaneous parts under the seat when he was finished. Outmatched by the new technology and his lack of taking the trade of automotive repair serious enough to warrant any training or certifications, our weekend nut buster and his little cohort (aka “his tool box”) took off for parts unknown (pun intended), never to be seen or heard from again. Which left the owner of the vehicle high and dry with an even bigger problem than he originally had. It never ceases to amaze me that even with various repair manuals, internet sources, and parts available at the corner parts store, somebody would be willing to tear into a car without a reasonable understanding of what lies behind the dash. That seems to be the perpetual gap between how a professional mechanic tackles repairs and how the “friend of a friend mechanic” does the same job. There’s something to be said about being in the trade on a daily basis. Most pros will tell you that even a year away from the business can leave you far behind your competition. More often than not, the professional mechanic has to stay up with the ever changing industry, as well as adopting a few tricks of their own or at least finding easier methods than what the engineers originally anticipated. (No offense engineers.) However, even then, those tricks and short cuts are often omitted in the corner parts store repair manual or YouTube video. Whether it’s due to space, or because some of those mechanic “tricks” aren’t approved by the manufacturer. The manual writers often have to stick with what is “engineeringly-correct” rather than what professional mechanics have found out in the trenches. Let’s face it, years ago when most systems didn’t use miles of wire with interconnecting information and calibrated components, a good shade tree mechanic could get by without knowing the inner workings of the actual systems. All they needed to know was what part was bad and where it’s located. That’s not the case anymore. There’s going to come a day when these backyard mechanics are going to reach a tipping point, and not following all the warnings and directions printed in the repair manual will to lead to a catastrophe. Even those repairs that seemed simple in the past will require extensive training to accomplish. With some of the latest systems in production now it’s safe to say we already have reached that tipping point. But, the dollar is still the deal breaker when it comes to professional automotive service. Then again, the typical person who decided to go the route of finding the cheapest ratchet slinger or rely on a friend of a friend carrying a rusty tool box to do their repairs may find themselves still standing in their driveway with a broken down car. Sure, there’s still a lot of ways to save money on service repair costs just like you can with any type of service work, and not just the family car, either. The question you have to ask yourself is, “Am I willing to take the risk of a failed repair by not calling a professional, and do I understand that it will probably cost more for the professional to straighten out the mess from the last guy?” If not, you might be stuck on the side of the road like the guy with the heater core looking for another “friend of a friend”. Save a dollar. That’s always smart thinking. Having diagnostics and service work done by some guy you met at the corner parts store who is moon lighting as a mechanic...? Hey, it’s your dime. View full article

Ode to Santa and the Economy There goes Santa, running for his sleigh; He’s gotta run fast, to get away. You see, the economy has struck the North Pole as well; The elves are on strike, and his wife is givin' em' hell. These days when Santa appears at the local department store; It’s not just for fun or photos, but for gifts he needs to score. He'll check the store layout and make a quick dash; Why even Santa max'd out his credit card and is low on cash. So off he goes, into the night; To find those gifts, and get out of sight. Now, he’s not going to make a whole lot of stops; ‘Cause look out Santa… here comes the cops. Santa leaps to his sleigh and flys far into the night; Carrying all those gifts, on his yearly flight. Way into the morning, the police search high and low; Only to find a few tracks left in the snow. You'll hear all the alarms blaring, late into the night; But old Saint Nick will be long gone, and clean out of sight. Santa has to be quick, to have it done by Christmas Eve; So many gifts, and so many places to be… The presents will be wrapped, and the tags will be off; Cause old Santa is very careful, not to get caught. So check your presents, early on Christmas day; (Keep it hush-hush if they're from Santa, OK...?) Now, I don’t know if Old Saint Nick, stopped at your house or not; But If he did … … … … … .....THOSE GIFTS ARE . . . HOT ! ! View full article

Twelve Days Of Christmas mechanic's style On the 1st day of Christmas a customer sent to me: A cartridge for my grease gun. On the 2nd day Christmas a customer sent to me: 2 Latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 3rd day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 3 Wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 4th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 4 Wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 5th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 5 Piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 6th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 6 Brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 7th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 7 Dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 8th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 8 Engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 9th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 9 Coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 10th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 10 Headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 11th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 11 Gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. On the 12th day of Christmas a customer sent to me: 12 Trannys slipping, 11 gears a-grinding, 10 headlights blinking, 9 coils a-sparking, 8 engines leaking, 7 dash lights flashing, 6 brand new sockets, 5 piston rings, 4 wire straps, 3 wrench ends, 2 latex gloves, and a cartridge for my grease gun. Have a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. View full article

It wouldn't be the holidays without a few of my holiday stories. Working on some new ones too.

Twas the Night before Christmas (Mechanic style) Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the service bay, Not an engine was stirring, just old Santa’s sleigh. All the air hoses were hung, by the compressor with care, The mechanics had the day off, I’m the only one there. I was just an apprentice, but wanted to show St. Nick just what I knew, My boss was all for it, said it was OK if I turned a few screws. With visions of being a full time mechanic, dancing in my head I was going to give it my best shot; I’ll fix this old sled. I gave the key a twist,and listened in dismay, That little red hot rod needed service, in such a bad way Then from under the hood there arose such a clatter, That even St. Nick had to ask, “So, what’s the matter?” I flew from the driver’s seat and raised the hood in a flash, Nearly stumbling off my feet, from my quick little dash. The under hood light, glimmered onto the engine below, The fan belt had broken, and a spark plug blew out a hole. It’s something I can handle; I learned this stuff in school, I’ll have this fixed up in no time; it only takes a few tools, I started it up and all eight cylinders were firing away Just a few minor adjustments and he could be on his way That’s when I noticed, his sled was packed full of all sorts of toys… He hadn’t finished his deliveries, to all the girls… and boys. He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot Anxious he was, to finish his trip as soon as he could, With my wrenches a flyin’, he knew that he would. It was up to me, to get it fixed this very night, He still had a long way to go, before it was daylight. His eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry. And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. I knew it was Christmas Eve, so I couldn’t say no, He had a broad face and a round little belly That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. His sled was like new, after the job was all done, Now that it’s fixed, he could get back to his run. He reached into his huge bag, and pulled a box out with a jerk, Said he knew just how to thank me, for all of my hard work, I ripped open the present, and Oh, what a sight! Snap On wrenches and sockets! Boy was he right! As he pulled from the parking lot, he held the throttle to the floor, Just to show off, he passed by the shop, once more, This guy Santa, he’s a little strange, at any rate, He had a name for every cylinder, in his little V8. I could hear him shout, so loud and clear, Naming off each cylinder, as if they could hear. "Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donner and Blitzen! I heard the tires screech, as he caught second gear, Off to deliver those presents, some far, some near. Then, I heard him exclaim, just before he drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!” View full article

I still have a huge draw of screw drivers, but... I probably have just as many bits for my screwgun these days. And YES, when the battery is dead in the screwgun it's a major catastrophe. But, looking back a decade or so, I took every door panel screw out with a hand screw driver.... not anymore. Talk about "electrically handicapped". LOL

Bad Day to be a Turkey. From the barn yard to leftovers. Let's see, first you're plucked from the barn yard and decapitated, then all your feathers are yanked out by the roots while someone else rips all your guts out. Now if you weren't dead enough already, they continue their assault on what's left of you by throwing your carcass in a freezer until you're as hard as concrete. Oh wait, it's not over yet. Now they thaw you out for round two and drown you in a pool of herbs and spices long enough to be sure you weren't holding your breath the whole time. If that wasn't bad enough, now some little old lady starts violating you in ways you never dreamed of by jamming things up inside you with the same vigor of a pile driver. Luckily, you're not going back into that cold cold freezer again. Oh no... it's the hot hot oven for you this time. After a few hours of scorching heat and constant water torture from this guy with a ladle your suddenly thrust out into the world completely spent. It's off to the carving table where you're cut up into small pieces slowly and methodically while being served to the smiling cannibalistic creatures that seem to only come by once a year just to enjoy the final end to this previous barn yard creature. Slowly, but surely, the day ends with football and hockey games and the occasional nap on the couch. While for the turkey or what's left of him, is suffocated inside sealed containers for another round of degradation at a later date and time. I look forward to the smells and smiles the holidays bring especially at Thanksgiving time. A perfect day to get together with relatives and friends and give thanks to one and all. That is, as long as you're not the turkey. Happy Thanksgiving !

BTW, yes... a lady actually did call and tell me her door locks didn't work. LOL

Electronically Handicapped Are we so inundated with electrical devices we’ve forgotten how to do certain tasks without them? I believe the time has come when common sense values and electronics have crossed paths to change the way some people assume things are done. Yes, we’ve become electronically handicapped by the very means that are supposed to make things better. Expecting those electronic wonders to always be in working order is one thing, but not knowing what to do when those devices fail and having to resort to good old fashion “hands on” is where the problems and frustrations begin. Case in point: a guy calls and asks if I can fix his speedometer. He explains he wouldn’t be able to drive the car to the shop, because he has no idea how fast he’s going. I suggested he just stay up with traffic or download one of the many apps displaying mph. This led to even more hysteria because he was afraid of an electronic bug affecting his phone. Instead, all he wanted was one of those “I ain’t holding ya to it” estimates. Not knowing the reason why his speedometer wasn’t working, I gave him a rough guess on the cost of the various components related to a speedometer problem. He then tells me, “Let me know when the part shows up.” I asked, “What part?” Now I’m confused. Finally, it came down to one question. “Sir, even if I knew exactly what component or problem you’re having, how are you going to get the car here? Tow truck, or do you want me to come and get it?” I asked. Absolutely no tow trucks, and he didn’t want anyone else to drive his car. Instead, he was going to check “YouTube” for a video on how to fix it. At the top of the list of people who have become electronically handicapped would be this lady: She called to tell me her door locks stopped working, and how she was trapped in her car for several hours until her husband showed up. (He unlocked the door with the key from the outside.) I asked her, “Why didn’t you just unlock the door from the inside?” Her answer, “Sir, I pushed the button several times but it never would unlock the door.” I calmly asked (although I was secretly bursting with laughter), “Why didn’t you use the mechanical lock knob or push the manual lock lever in the opposite direction?” The tone of her voice was enough to tell you she was more than a little shaken up over the whole door lock ordeal. Thinking I could ease her obvious tension, I suggested that she could have rolled the window down, but that just spurred her anxiety even more. She couldn’t understand why I would suggest such a thing; she would have had to start the car in order to do that. Since the windows were up, the fear of carbon monoxide poisoning was an even bigger concern. Pretty soon, there will be a generation that won’t understand or even care to know anything about some of the old technologies. That is until they’re face-to-face with a situation calling for some nostalgic common sense and mechanical know-how. We’ve modernized the family car into a nightmarish electronic wonder, which has caused a lot of people to lose touch with the basic fundamentals of its operation. Not only is it more complicated electronically, but it’s also becoming more reliant on GPS and computers. Take for instance the autonomous car or the lane check systems. Here’s something else that I don’t understand: We still call a manual shift transmission a standard transmission. There’s nothing “standard” about it anymore. It was the standard for decades, but not anymore. Now it’s rather rare for new drivers to even know how to operate a stick shift. We’ve all become so complacent with our modern electronic conveniences that opening a garage door by hand seems barbaric in some way. I know I’m guilty of it myself. One time after a rather long and frustrating day at the shop, I came down my driveway tapping my finger on the garage door remote button. The door refused to move. Not to be outwitted by a garage door remote, I sat out there bashing the button and cussing at the door… determined to get that blasted thing to raise one more time. Eventually, the wife comes out and opens the door from the inside button, standing there with that typical wife look of disbelief, staring at her goof ball husband having a heart-to-heart talk with a dead garage door remote. Her response was priceless, “The battery is probably dead in the remote dummy! Just get out of the truck and open the door!” Even now, you see people who don’t have a clue how to use their turn signals. I doubt they know the proper hand signals. Of course, that would mean rolling down the electric window, which probably doesn't work either. What about the tire monitor systems on cars these days? How many people know how to properly use a tire pressure gauge? Then again, why? We’ve got electronics to take care of that stuff. A vehicle operator seems to require less common sense these days as the electronic world has already accomplished these tasks with minimal to no effort with things like voice activated entertainment to navigation controls. Why, we even have crash avoidance systems and air bags to keep us safe. More to the point… less personal responsibility for your actions; make it the car’s responsibility. I grew up in the time when road maps were in every glove box. Folding one back up from the passenger seat while giving directions could be a contest of wit and skill to say the least. You paid attention to the road signs and observed the different land features as well as points of interest that were pointed out in the map details. These days, you listen to this voice on the navigation system that says, “Turn right in 500 feet onto exit 227.” Why, I’ll bet you didn’t even notice you passed the world’s largest ball of string a mile back. It seems the navigation voice failed to mention anything about all those roadside features the folding map could tell you about. Just goes to show how much we have become dependent on these electronic devices. So, you say, “Yea well, I might be a little electronically handicapped, but I’m not as bad as ya think. I could handle living like they did a hundred years ago. No battery needed to start a horse.” Oh, really? A century ago anyone over 10 years old could hitch up a two horse team to a buggy for an afternoon trip to town and knew how to deal with their horses’ temperament. Can you? Back then, that knowledge was passed down from father to son. These days, well, you’re more likely to Google the answer than ask Grandpa. View full article

This story goes back a few years. But, it is one of those customers that you'll never forget. Old Sarge was one of a kind.

Old Sarge I met this great man through his son, who happened to be the driver of that Chevy van from the furniture store that was my very first customer. Sarge isn’t his real name, but that’s what I called him. He was a retired Marine Corps cook. I met him one day when he came in with a sick Cadillac. The old Cadillac hardly had any power at all; just as slow and lazy as a snail. I was only in business for a few months, and didn’t know anybody. I didn’t have any work to speak of, so even though it wasn’t an electrical problem (as he originally thought), I jumped right in and found the problem. It was a clogged catalytic converter. Unbelievably, it wasn’t even welded in place. I could take off the clamps, and remove it without much hassle. Back then I didn’t have a lift to put the car in the air, so I had to do the whole job on the ground. Well, old Sarge just sat there and watched me do the whole thing. I think he was a little suspicious of this skinny little white kid who was hacking away at his car, but he patiently waited, being the good man he was. We got to talking about things, and it wasn’t long before he found out that I was also in Marine Corps. Now we had some common ground. We were buds for life, always cutting up with each other. One hot August afternoon Sarge brought in one of his other cars to get some work done. I had the back door to the shop open, and Sarge steps outside for a little fresh air. I thought I could hear the guy crying or mumbling something, couldn’t tell which it was. I stuck my head around the corner, “Sarge, ah …. you ok, buddy?” I asked. He proceeded to tell me how the house he grew up in was close by, before it became a shopping center. He talked about his dad and family, and how he hunted rabbits right where we were standing. It was during the Depression. Hard times, and things were scarce in those days. How his dad hid a pig in a pit, not too far from here. Where they kept the corn mash for making moon shine. I sat and listened to this hardened Marine tell me his life’s story that day, from his first car to how he ended up in the Corps. I didn’t answer the phone, or go up front to see if anyone came in. I just sat out there in that August heat, drenched in sweat, listening to this fella tell me his life story. I’ll never forget that afternoon. I’ll also never forget how every time he came to my shop over the next 25 years he would sneak up on me, and yell in a drill instructor voice, “TEN HUT!” I would snap to attention just like a good Marine should. Sometimes, just to get a rise out of Sarge I would purposely hit my head on the hood of the car I was working on. He got a kick out of it every time. Sarge passed away a couple years back. I still think about him now and then. I hope he’s up there hunting rabbits, or something. Maybe he’s guarding the gates like every Marine hopes to be doing when their time comes. Or, he could be just waiting there to try and surprise me with one more “TEN HUT” when I show up. Sarge, I miss having you around the shop. Semper fi my old friend... Semper fi View full article

Greener Grass You’re washing up after a long, hard day. Your shirt tail hasn’t stayed tucked in since lunch time, and everywhere you look there are more oil stains and dirt on your clothes from working on that last engine. Then the service manager shows up wanting to know why that last job isn’t finished, and asks if you can stick around a few more hours to get it done. You’re about to blow a gasket, but you keep your cool, and call home to tell them you’ll be late again. Between the car problems, that lousy air hose fitting that blew apart, and that last repair order you got that listed the customer’s complaint as: “Car don’t go.” You’ve had enough. You slam the screwdriver drawer shut as you say to yourself, “I’m going to quit. I’ll find another way to pay my bills. I can’t take this anymore.” Even the guys and gals coming out of technical schools wonder if this was the right choice. Most of them have the same worries: “Can I find a job? Will it pay enough?” Everyone wants to get out there and do what they were trained to do, and the road from just being a lube tech seems so long and narrow that the thought of changing careers creeps into the conversation. I’m sure at one time or another we’ve all thought about trading in the toolbox for a cubical office job. There’s such an investment in training and tools that you have to wonder. “Is it all worth it? Is there anything else I could do? Is there greener grass somewhere else?” If you listen to some of these motivational speakers they’ll tell you, “Don’t follow your passion - follow the money. Your passion may be the thing you love to do, but money makes the world go around. Life’s too short to train and become an expert, go where the money goes, do what pays the best!” Then the question is asked, “Is there any money to be made in this trade, or am I just fooling myself? Should I start thinking about a different line of work?” Anybody who’s been around a while will tell you the real money in this business is for those who have the knack and the temperament to deal with the ups and downs. If you’re the type of person who finds mechanical things fascinating, or an automotive related TV show entertaining, or an old restored ride rumbling down the road makes you strain your neck for a better view…well then, you’ve got a passion for things mechanical. I’ve known a lot of guys who left the trade for one reason or another and then eventually came back to it. Now why is that? Why would you hang up your wrenches, and then decide to come back to it later on? I thought the pay was terrible, the working conditions were too rough, and the training was too much? It’s probably the same reason why you’re reading this. It’s in your blood. Cars, boats, trains, heavy equipment, etc… those mechanical wonders that make the industrialized world move progressively forward into the future are part of your make up. Ya can’t change who you really are. Money may change how you’re involved with all things mechanical, but I’ll guarantee you’ll still find room for them. If you check the average income for technicians across the country the figures are simply appalling. Who in their right mind would invest thousands and thousands of dollars into personal equipment to repair something that needs such a highly skilled person to properly repair them? Only to be put at the bottom of the list of important contributors that keeps this society on the road? Yep, the mechanic knows that scenario all to well. I tried to figure out how they arrived at these income figures. From what I could find out the national average is based on every facet of the automotive world. From the lube tech, tire shops, muffler shops, brake specialty shops, and various dealership/independent shops. I find their results rather misleading. If they did the same analysis on the average salary of a chef they’d find the same huge differences between them as well. Just as it is in the automotive field there are different levels of compensation. The person who preps things in the kitchen is just as much a chef as the person whose name is on the door. So why are there so many variations in income levels? Its training and your expertise that makes the difference, you’ve already got the passion for it. Gee, the three things some of those so called expert motivational speakers tell you to ignore. So if the main reason you’ve thought of changing professions is based on an average salary…think again… your passion may win out in the long run. Now all you need is that training and expertise. This trade is like any other trade… with one exception. Not all you know today is going to help repair the cars of the next generation. You have to constantly learn something new. Training is what is going to make the difference; it’s a never ending pursuit of knowledge on new technology, procedures, and tools. Just remember that passion that got you started. It’s still there. Learn as much as you can about your trade, learn it well, and be the best that you can be, that greener grass may be a lot closer than you think. View full article

Bringing this story back for Halloween. First ran back in 2014 Happy Halloween ! ! BTW - Halloween is my youngest granddaughters birthday too! ! ! makes it easy for this old guy to remember it. LOL

nothing technical about this story, it's just for fun. Hope it puts a smile on your face. Gonzo

Mad Max of the Future I’m a big sci-fi fan. Everything from Star Trek to the Road Warrior movies, and anything else in between. If the story line is good, well, that’s a plus, but what I like to keep an eye on is the technical aspects of the movie and compare it to the technology we have today. You know, see if they’ve improved on the technology we already have. For example, the communicator in Star Trek can easily be transitioned into the modern cell phone and other technology like that. It’s just one of the ways to look at past and present technologies, but a lot of times these movie plots don’t follow the progression of technology. In fact sometimes they get it entirely wrong. In the Mad Max movies we’re to assume the movie is set some time in the future after the fall of society. However, all the engines appear of the 70’s era. They’re all carbureted engines. I mean, how did they skip over decades of computerized vehicles and end up with carbureted cars with a shortage of gasoline? I’m pretty sure none of those four wheeled creations in the movie are running on a PCM or ECM. Where’s the check engine lights? Where’s all the scanners? Where’s all the DIY hackers? Did all the electronic and technical creations end up useless after a gigantic solar flare wiped them out? It could be, as the movie goer, you’re just supposed to accept the fact as to which cars survived. In a realistic view, those engines would have been all but worn out by the time the apocalypse came around. But, it is just a movie. Then again, what would happen if we moved the time frame of the movie up a bit and relied on today’s advanced technologies. Hmm, well it’s not likely anything has a working computer. Who’s going to flash the crazy thing? No internet and obviously no manufacturer’s website to get the info from. That puts the likely vehicle to be a pre-software controlled car, or maybe it would be a full electric car. Sure why not? There’s still solar and wind power around, and maybe one of those cyber geeks/mechanics was able to figure out how to rig up some sort of software bypass that could get these technically advanced cars back into running condition. So, what kind of modern technically advanced car would Mad Max be zooming through the desert in then? I think I know. Let’s go to the opening scenes of “Mad Max of the Future” movie. It’s years after the world as we know it has fallen apart. Chaos is rampant, there’s no internet, no infrastructure, and nothing but insanely radical and delusional characters running around. Now, for the movie buff, seeing Mad Max flying down the highway in his modified hot rod equipped with a huge blower and nitrous is part of that testosterone movie appeal, but that’s not around anymore. He would be more inclined to be driving something that he wouldn’t have to deal with the gas shortage. What if Mad Max’s car wasn’t a snarling gas guzzling combustion engine from the late 70’s, but a car of the here and now? I know the perfect car that fits the criteria. How about a Toyota Leaf. Let me set the scene for you. We see Mad Max disconnecting the battery pack from his solar array as he crams himself and all his sawed off shot guns into his little Leaf. A wide shot pans across the car showing a huge stack of auxiliary batteries strapped to the roof that Max can use just in case he needs that extra jolt of energy. The next shot shows him heading down this lonely stretch of desert road when the “Ayatollah of Rockin’ Rolla” and his henchmen comes into view over the top of the next ridge. They’re baring down on him so, Mad Max punches the pedal to the floor and heads straight for them. When he gets up to speed, he flips the safety cap off of the switch and hits the button. The camera zooms in on the internal cells of the batteries strapped to the roof. The camera scene moves with short quick motions as the viewer goes for ride with the current as it passes through the electrical veins to the drive motor. Max is jolted back into his harness as the electricity sends him zooming down the road at lightning speeds. Of course, there wouldn’t be the roar of the exhaust or the whirl of the blower belt. More like a loud whine as the electric motor wizzes to its full potential. Sure it could happen, but I suppose, even in the future downfall of society the roar of a powerful engine is still far more dramatic as a movie scene than the whiz of an electric motor. Which brings up the thought that even if the world collapsed into utter chaos, technology would still be a part of it. At least I think so, and somebody somewhere would have to know how fix it and who would that be? Who else but the modern mechanic, of course. If there was a great upheaval of the world as we know it, mechanics would still be in demand. Let’s just call it “future job security”. Even Star Trek had their engineer, Scottie. Which just goes to prove you can’t leave home without knowing where a good mechanic is. To say the writers and producers of these sci-fi flicks got it wrong isn’t all that important, but it does make you wonder how the lack of gasoline became the theme in a lot of these movies. I don’t know about you, but for me, I’m a bit of the macho motor guy who loves to hear the roar of a big motor and I wouldn’t want any other way. Someday there might actually be anti-gravity cars or teleportation. For now, I’m glad to see some of this old iron still belching exhaust in these wacky movies. Maybe not the most “environmentally friendly” type of cars, but they sure do make for a great chase scene. Then again, maybe they’ll make a “Mad Max of the Future” movie with hybrids, electric cars, and of course Max’s hopped up Toyota Leaf. View full article

I've always liked the idea of certifications, but I agree that they are not necessary when it comes to doing quality work AND that some guys are basically paper pushing - test taking geniuses that don't have a clue what to do when it comes to diagnostics or having a wrench in their hands. My general thought on this has always been to rate the repair shop as well as the tech. Say an A-B-C-D rating system. Right smack on the front door would be a white sign with a black letter showing the graded/evaluation of that particular repair shop. Each shop can raise or lower their rating based on the quality of work and equipment as well as their technicians skill levels. The rating system could also dictate the highest labor per hour each rating could charge. It's not a perfect idea but, this would allow the consumer to decide where they want to go instead of the usual, "I went here, then here, and then over there and nobody knows how to fix my car." If they went to a D shop that has nothing more than a code reader and OUIJA board to diagnose cars they can't blame anybody but themselves for only getting what they paid for. How do you rate a shop? Simple, we do it. We as in the shop owners and technicians. Or, some sort of secret shopper deal. Take an older tech and give them the task of checking out shops. I personally like the idea of us governing us. thoughts???