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Posted

Since it is Sunday and I am on my way to church I thought you might enjoy a religious story:

 

Here is the lost paragraph in GENESIS....

 

So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

 

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

 

God said that he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, "This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion when ever you need it."

 

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

 

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

 

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

 

And the rest is history.

 

 

I read it to my wife... All I got was the "evil" eye.... I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight... thanx... thanx a lot. LOL She says it was a bargain for just a rib.... He should have ask for a little more... how about a toe or something....

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Posted

If you are married or into horse racing take a look at this:

 

 

 

there near the end I thought he was stating a fact not calling the race... Good one....

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Posted

pinch me.... I'm dreamin'.... no, no, no don't wake me up... I'm enjoying the moment.... LOL

 

A Guy Fairy Tale

 

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess...

Will you marry me?

The Princess said NO!!

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles

And went fishing and hunting and played golf

And dated women half his age

And drank beer and scotch

And had tons of money in the bank

And left the toilet seat up.

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Posted (edited)

I'm FINE, yes officer... couldn't be better... LOL good one Frankie.....! !

Edited by Gonzo
Posted

Ok, he did it the hard way, but does he still want 200 buck an hour??? LOL

A gynecologiost had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

 

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

 

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

 

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

  • 5 months later...
Guest waynes
Posted

and god made Adam first, Adam asked why me? and god said I don't need any advice,

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Posted

An elderly fella was in a hospital room gathering his thoughts as he laid there with a breathing mask on. In walked a young nurse to check up on him.

She asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Through the breathing mask the young nurse heard, "Yes, are my testicles black?"

 

She was a little shocked, but being the dutiful nurse she was, she lifted the hospital robe and examined the old guys private parts.

"No," she said, "They're quite normal in color and very well proportioned I might add. Anything else you'd like me to do?"

 

The old man took a deep breath and pulled the mask away and said with a smile, "Thanks for the complements young lady. Been a long time since a pretty girl noticed,"he grabbed another breath from the mask, "Now, could you find out if my tests results are back?"

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  • Have you checked out Joe's Latest Blog?

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      It always amazes me when I hear about a technician who quits one repair shop to go work at another shop for less money. I know you have heard of this too, and you’ve probably asked yourself, “Can this be true? And Why?” The answer rests within the culture of the company. More specifically, the boss, manager, or a toxic work environment literally pushed the technician out the door.
      While money and benefits tend to attract people to a company, it won’t keep them there. When a technician begins to look over the fence for greener grass, that is usually a sign that something is wrong within the workplace. It also means that his or her heart is probably already gone. If the issue is not resolved, no amount of money will keep that technician for the long term. The heart is always the first to leave. The last thing that leaves is the technician’s toolbox.
      Shop owners: Focus more on employee retention than acquisition. This is not to say that you should not be constantly recruiting. You should. What it does means is that once you hire someone, your job isn’t over, that’s when it begins. Get to know your technicians. Build strong relationships. Have frequent one-on-ones. Engage in meaningful conversation. Find what truly motivates your technicians. You may be surprised that while money is a motivator, it’s usually not the prime motivator.
      One last thing; the cost of technician turnover can be financially devastating. It also affects shop morale. Do all you can to create a workplace where technicians feel they are respected, recognized, and know that their work contributes to the overall success of the company. This will lead to improved morale and team spirit. Remember, when you see a technician’s toolbox rolling out of the bay on its way to another shop, the heart was most likely gone long before that.
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