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xrac

By xrac
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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted

Since it is Sunday and I am on my way to church I thought you might enjoy a religious story:

 

Here is the lost paragraph in GENESIS....

 

So God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

 

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

 

God said that he was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman. God said, "This person will gather food for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you. She will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion when ever you need it."

 

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

 

God replied, "An arm and a leg."

 

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

 

And the rest is history.

 

 

I read it to my wife... All I got was the "evil" eye.... I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight... thanx... thanx a lot. LOL She says it was a bargain for just a rib.... He should have ask for a little more... how about a toe or something....

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted

If you are married or into horse racing take a look at this:

 

 

 

there near the end I thought he was stating a fact not calling the race... Good one....

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted

pinch me.... I'm dreamin'.... no, no, no don't wake me up... I'm enjoying the moment.... LOL

 

A Guy Fairy Tale

 

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess...

Will you marry me?

The Princess said NO!!

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles

And went fishing and hunting and played golf

And dated women half his age

And drank beer and scotch

And had tons of money in the bank

And left the toilet seat up.

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm FINE, yes officer... couldn't be better... LOL good one Frankie.....! !

Edited by Gonzo
Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted

Ok, he did it the hard way, but does he still want 200 buck an hour??? LOL

A gynecologiost had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

 

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

 

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

 

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly,which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career.

  • 5 months later...
Guest waynes

Guest waynes

Posted
Posted

and god made Adam first, Adam asked why me? and god said I don't need any advice,

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Gonzo Grand Master

Gonzo

Posted
Posted

An elderly fella was in a hospital room gathering his thoughts as he laid there with a breathing mask on. In walked a young nurse to check up on him.

She asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

Through the breathing mask the young nurse heard, "Yes, are my testicles black?"

 

She was a little shocked, but being the dutiful nurse she was, she lifted the hospital robe and examined the old guys private parts.

"No," she said, "They're quite normal in color and very well proportioned I might add. Anything else you'd like me to do?"

 

The old man took a deep breath and pulled the mask away and said with a smile, "Thanks for the complements young lady. Been a long time since a pretty girl noticed,"he grabbed another breath from the mask, "Now, could you find out if my tests results are back?"

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