You Know You're A Mechanic If --- Take the test, see if you pass

[Gonzo]

You Know you’re a Mechanic if:
I’ll bet you’ve been turning wrenches and talking with customers for quite some time now. You’ve probably tossed around the idea of changing careers at one time or another, too. The grease, grime, technical and mechanical stuff, as well as the various ups and downs of the day to day drudgery all fits you like a glove, but you’re still not sure if you truly are a professional mechanic. Worry no more. Here’s a list of the probable reasons to convince you that you really are what you are, a real life professional mechanic.

You have no trouble spending more money on the tool trucks than you do on your girlfriend or wife.

You know every type of automotive fluid by taste, but not by choice.

Losing a socket is more frustrating than losing your keys.

You have to wash your hands before nature calls.

You’re a bit smarter than a fifth grader, especially if a fifth grader had to answer questions about the technical and mechanical aspects of the modern automobile. But, naming the capitals of all 50 states isn’t one of your strong points.

Being told by the service writer that the customer isn’t paying for that hour you just spent figuring out the problem, and they’re not going to have the work done after all, because, “A” – The customer said that you should have known what was wrong before you even started testing it, “B” – The customer is acting like a fifth grader.

Spending an hour and half busting off a rusted bolt for a job that only pays .5.

Listening to every walk of life explain to you the same type of problem on the same type of car, but in totally different ways, and still being able to sort through all these explanations and arrive at the correct solution to the same problem every time.

Spend $100,000.00 on personal tools and education to make less than that a year.

You’re a self-taught contortionist who can maneuver into places that seem humanly impossible.

You’ve been told that you don’t need an education to do this job, anybody can do it.

It’s not unusual on a busy day to have a lunch on the fly only to realize your sandwich has as many grease prints on it as your shop rag.

You can remember 12 digit part numbers, the oil filter size for an 85 Camaro, and the firing order on every V8 engine, but can’t remember your wife’s birthday.

You read car forums on the internet just to get a good laugh at the suggestions.

If you’ve ever been annoyed with the parts guy when he asks, “Is that a two or 4WD?” when all you wanted was wiper blades.

You know, from experience, that torqueing a greasy bolt with an open end wrench also means you should check the path of the wrench for any obstacles that may end up embedded in your hand.

When somebody says, “Sinchya got it in shop…” you break out in hives and your upper lip curls into an Elvis snarl.

The wife notices you still have grease on your elbows when you’re out to dinner after work. Then, she chides you for having them on the table.

You’ve ever had to order a part and the wiring diagram calls it by one name, the locator page calls it something else, the parts department calls it by another name, and still yet, the labor guide has a completely different name for the exact same part.

“Lefty-loosey-righty-tighty” does not apply to the side of a car with reverse lug nuts, and you know which vehicles those are.

You can’t have a meaningful conversation with anyone who simply calls themselves a mechanic and wants to talk about fixing cars, except for another true mechanic. Thankfully, your wife understands you even though she doesn’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

You don’t think of repairs based on what it they cost, but on how much aggravation is in involved.

You can spot a professional mechanic from a “wanna-be” mechanic as soon as they tell you how they diagnosed the car they’re still having problems with.

You have a rather low opinion of anyone who calls themselves a mechanic if their entire education is based on watching You Tube videos from other non-professional type mechanics.

Not all the screwdrivers you own will fit into one drawer.

For you, an open hood is like a moth to a flame.

You know what cheap sockets are good for.

You know what a cheap socket looks like.

Borrowing tools is a sin; not returning borrowed tools is a crime.

You’ve pondered, which came first: the wrench or the screwdriver.

So, quit your grumbling, stop your fussing, and no more belly aching that you’re going to change professions or something. Just grab your tools and get back to work. Cause you are what you are, nothing more and nothing less. You’re a professional mechanic, something a lot of people don’t have the knack or natural talent to ever achieve in their lifetime. The skills of a professional technician aren’t in a tool box, or in some video, they’re in the hands of the person holding the wrench. Hold your head high and say it proudly when someone asks what you do. Tell em’… I know what I am, I’m a mechanic.

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[Joe Marconi]

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[HarrytheCarGeek]

Brilliant! Thank you, you made me laugh and cry at the same time!

 

" When somebody says, “Sinchya got it in shop…” you break out in hives and your upper lip curls into an Elvis snarl."

 

This is me down to a T!

[skm]

I really like that you used the term "Mechanic"

 

 

Joe took the words right out of my mouth !! I refer to myself as a 'mechanic" , I have found that "MOST" that refer to themselves as technicians are as what I referred to in your last article as "you tuber's". My thoughts on a technician is some one working in a lab wearing a white coat. I for one would not be able to keep a white coat clean for long. As a mechanic I also find it very hard to have a conversation with the "You Tuber's" about cars.

[mmotley]

"You’ve ever had to order a part and the wiring diagram calls it by one name, the locator page calls it something else, the parts department calls it by another name, and still yet, the labor guide has a completely different name for the exact same part."

 

Jesus, this is the most frustrating thing. Toyota did a fine job with this when they were developing transmissions solenoids. They were even nice enough to make sure the exploded view in the repair manual was different from the parts diagram in the parts department. More time spent building the estimate than actually diagnosing and repairing the car.

[kenk]

gonzo: I don't think you missed anything. you spelled it all out rather nice!

[JimO]

Great article, thank you.

[Zs Automotive]

Excellent article. Very entertaining and true. Thank you.